TOE-KNEE’s Australia Day

G’day Swordians! I trust you had a great Australia Day. I had a very interesting time myself – did a bit of backpacking in Queensland and actually met up with an old aboriginal guy when I was doing a bit of walking there. He was boiling his billy, and as I was feeling a bit peckish myself, I stopped and took the opportunity to have a bit of a chin-wag with him. We chatted about this and that and when he asked me was I doing anything special for Australia Day, I optimistically said that, whatever happened, “I was going to have a whale of a time!” He laughed, and then began to tell me a story about how Australia Day came to his people way back in the mists of time. He said my mention of having a “whale” of a time reminded him of this yarn and, more or less in his own words, the following is how it happened: [more]

“Way back before the whitefellas came with their convict ships in 1788, we had already been visited by another mob from that same part of the world...They said they were descended from WHALES and spoke a strange language called GALELICK...They were also very fond of playing a game called RUGBEE...However, they weren’t very good at this game and kept getting hammered by every team they played against...Then, they heard about a team beyond the southern horizon that was supposed to be very easy to beat at RUGBEE...They were called the ANTARCTIC PENGUINS...So, the RUGBEE team headed off in their boat to find these PENGUINS, but, unfortunately, were blown off-course and ended up making landfall around here on the Queensland coast, where they married into our local people, and that is why the indigenous people around here today speak three languages – our local aboriginal tongue, English, and GALELICK...

“We’ve got a right one here”, I thought to myself, and was half-thinking about hitting the road and leaving this old codger to share his fairy-tales with the breeze...But, I hadn’t finished my can of Coke and packet of Munchies, so I let him carry on...

“Then, many years later, another group of whitefellas came – it was the First Fleet of convicts in 1788. Everybody knows that most of the ships landed way south from here in CIDKNEE, but, few realise that one of the ships made a mistake and went further north and was wrecked on the rocks over there... [he pointed to a row of treacherous rocks girding the coast close to where we were sitting]

“Mockingly behind his back, the leader of the unfortunate convict ship was called Captain TOE-KNEE by both convicts and crew. They called him this because he exercised so much on deck he gave himself a bad dose of ARTHURITIS...

“Anyway, TOE-KNEE was not a very good captain of his ship. He was very harsh. In fact, he put much store in a big book he always carried around with him...He called it, the BUYBELL and he was fond of one bloke mentioned in particular in his BUYBELL, called LEVY...TOE-KNEE used to take a portion of the crew’s and convicts’ rations and said that he could do this because LEVY in his BUYBELL told him he could...So TOE-KNEE put a LEVY on the crew’s flintlocks...and to help pay for the holiday he planned in a place called EESTTEAMORE...and also on the crew’s and convicts’ rations of milk and sugar...and if anyone complained, TOE-KNEE would whack them fifty times with his BUYBELL...which they called, BUYBELLBASHING. However, TOE-KNEE said this treatment was for their own good and should more accurately be described as GUYDEAD-DEMOCKRASSEE...

“So, when TOE-KNEE’s ship was still on the rocks, a canoe containing some of my people went out with some food for them...However, TOE-KNEE was in a bad mood and kept hollering, “STOBTHEEBOTES!”...They captured my people and rowed them over the horizon where, they said, the great sea monster, NOWEROO, would eat them...Even today, when the kids are playing up, we tell them to behave or NOWEROO will get them...hee...hee...

“And they used to laugh at TOE-KNEE when he shouted into his empty tin of baked beans with the string attached...’There’s no need to shout, Captain’, the first mate would say, ‘I’m right beside you’...hee...hee...

“One day, after they had landed, TOE-KNEE sent out the crew and convicts to explore the surrounding area...he gave them the other empty baked beans tin with an extra-long string attached to his, and told them to keep in regular contact with him...However, he decided to keep the two most notorious convicts with him, as he couldn’t trust them to be out of his sight for even one second...As TOE-KNEE did his habitual exercises, the two convicts were left twiddling their thumbs. The chief convict was called JOOLEEAH, and the other was called DAFFID...JOOLEEAH had been sentenced to seven years for being WELSH, and when she appealed such a ludicrous charge and penalty, she was given an extra seven years for having dangly earlobes! DAFFID, for his part, had been given a not-so-straight fourteen years for claiming to be the only gay in the village...hee...hee...

“Anyway, JOOLEEAH and DAFFID were conversing in WELSHGALELICK when one of my indigenous ancestors overheard and, being tri-lingual, immediately recognised the language...He happily joined in their conversation. Meanwhile, TOE-KNEE was getting TOEWEE at the lack of response from the exploration party...He kept bellowing into his empty baked beans can, but there was no response...Then, my indigenous ancestor picked up a shiny rock from the ground and, using the sunlight reflected off it, was able to communicate in a form of indigenous semaphore, with another of my indigenous ancestors who was standing on a hill-top in the far distance...

“TOE-KNEE could hear JOOLEEAH, DAFFID and my ancestor speaking in WELSHGALELICK and presumed it was the local tongue...”But, but, but...what is this damn chappie saying, for god’s sake?” demanded TOE-KNEE. “And what is that infernal piece of stone he’s flashing?” JOOLEEAH told TOE-KNEE that my ancestor called it an EN-BEE-EN, but she didn’t add that he also said, because it used light, it was a lot better way to communicate than that old rusty tin can of baked beans he was holding...hee...hee...

“Anyway, JOOLEEAH spun TOE-KNEE the yarn that my ancestor on the far hill had reported the string had been dragged over the back of a frill-necked lizard and had been severed, so everyone was out of contact...In reality, my ancestor on the hill had reported with his EN-BEE-EN that the crew and convicts were fed up with TOE-KNEE’s GUYDEAD-DEMOCKRASSIE regime, and had BOLTED...And, to this day, we say that when someone is running away from their problems, they are ‘doing an Andrew’...hee...hee...”

And so, the old Aboriginal bloke concluded the guts of his story about how Australia Day came to that particular part of Queensland. He added, ominously, that just to the north of where we were standing, “the still-troubled spirit of TOE-KNEE continues to haunt that particular area”, and, if I knew what was good for me, “I would give it a miss and go in another direction”. He also said that even to this day, when the old folks are getting gip from their ARTHURITIS, they say that “TOE-KNEE is in there doing his exercises!”...hee...hee...

So, I took his advice and headed off somewhere else. And I was made all the richer for having listened.

So, what was your Australia day like?

Was it just an excuse for having a day off, or did you try to get into the true spirit of the day?

Should one of the purposes of Australia Day be recognition of the effects of White Settlement on the indigenous people?

How can the positive effects of both White Settlement and our indigenous heritage be built on today and in the future?

TOE-KNEE claimed that in his BUYBELL, it says it was warmer in Jesus’ time than it is now, so global warming is a load of crap! Can anyone give me chapter and verse on this one, cos I haven’t come across it in the bible I own!

Should an exorcist be dispatched immediately to Queensland to finally put TOE-KNEE out of his misery?

Whaddya think?

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Ad astra reply

28/01/2011Acerbic Conehead Welcome to [i]TPS[/i] as an original author and thank you for your enchanting piece if satire. We hope you will become a regular original contributor.

debbiep

28/01/2011Brillant !

NormanK

28/01/2011Acerbic Conehead Congratulations on your elevation to original contributor. Thoroughly deserved. You have developed a style which is uniquely your own and you should be well-pleased with it. Superficially, writing satirical prose looks simple but it is always uncharted seas full of reefs and sandbars which need to be carefully negotiated and you have done so with a light hand on the tiller. As ever with one of your prose pieces, there is something which I can carry around with me for a few days and in this instance GUYDEAD-DEMOCKRASSEE tickled my funny-bone and stirred my imagination. As to some of the serious questions raised, I have struggled all of my adult life with trying to find answers to them and confess to still being empty-handed. Again, thanks for this piece, it is greatly appreciated.

TalkTurkey

28/01/2011"Whaddya think?" Me tinkit you-fella little bit plenty yarndi longa cone head brudda! Seriously (not!) it's a lot of fun AC. And it has emboldened me to post the following, which until now I had thought too frippant to post! NormanK "'Tis there's the stone that whoever kisses He never misses to grow eloquent; 'Tis he may clamber to a lady's chamber, Or become a member of Parliament. A noble spouter he'll sure turn out, or An out and outer to be let alone; Don't try to hinder him, or to bewilder him, For he is a pilgrim from the Blarney stone." Francis Sylvester Mahoney The Pleasant Gerbils of Blarney – I assumed you’d know of them. They are deservedly both famous and infamous with those with whom they have had intimate contact. I use the term advisedly. The story may in parts be apocryphal, but the whole you will agree carries the ring of pure truth. It seems that Edward VIII (Edward Albert Christian George Andrew Patrick David; later The Duke of Windsor; 23 June 1894 – 28 May 1972), who as you would know was a stammerer, in an attempt to ameliorate or cure his speech defect, took a little-known trip to Ireland to kiss the Blarney Stone, known to impart eloquence in all who do so. To achieve this kiss one must lie backwards far over the edge of a high ledge on a battlement, with someone heavy and strong holding one’s ankles. It is very risky, and people have indeed fallen to their doom. As His Highness leant backwards to kiss the Stone, he propulsively vomited a rubber prophylactic, which struck the stone and burst. A small brown rodent, variously described by onlookers as a lemming or gerbil or rat, emerged dry and unscathed, and saved itself cleverly by sucking on to the smooth surface, and making good its escape. [Witnesses were unanimous that the condom was ejected from the His Majesty's mouth head-first, no pun intended, which considering the implausibility of swallowing the package tail-first, and in view of the linear shape of the item in question and the unlikeliness of its reversing itself within the alimentary canal, has inevitably led to conjecture as to precisely at what point it might have entered our noble King's person. However scatological speculation of that nature is of course completely infra dig, if not indeed lese majeste.] The story does not end there, however. It seems that the small animal in question, which indeed turns out to have been a Pleasant Gerbil, aka Charming Dipodil, gerbillus amoenus (true!) was actually pregnant, and within months the old Blarney Castle was teeming with the engaging little rodents. Many visitors found them in their pockets or jumping from the wheel housing of their cars when they got home, and soon the Blarney strain of Pleasant Gerbils became endemic throughout the UK. But then strange stories began circulating, first in Ireland, and then in increasing range and frequency through political circles throughout the Western world, that certain persons were secreting gerbils upon or within their persons even during working hours, and that the company of these gerbils imparted to their human partners an astonishing facility with words. What appears to have happened is that in effectively kissing the Blarney Stone, the original gerbil became infected with the otherwise-innocuous blarnivirus now understood to be responsible for the condition of eloquent garrulousness in humans, usually referred to as simply Blarney (or, “the gift of the gab”), and this has been passed down through successive generations, infecting in turn any human hosts with which it has close contact. It is this strain of gerbil that I assume you have been fortunate in befriending. And as I said, if you have some to spare, send me a pair. Not all relationships have been so happy, by the way. John Winston Howard, it seems, tried conclusions with the much larger and glossier Washington Bushrat, rattus prevaricans, and instead of blarney became infected with the deadly evasivirus which has godded him ever since. This highly successful though destructive and belligerent rat’s response to all forms of danger is simply to ignore it as if it did not know it was there, relying on its highly offensive attitude and odour, and its protective ring of cronies, to repel any threats. Humans infected with this virus show behaviour very similar to the rat itself, and it was thus that the Right Honorable John Winston Howard became known jovially by his closest friends as “the lying rodent”. Unfortunately this horrifying infection is not only apparently incurable but also highly contagious human-to-human, having spread from Honest John Howard to virtually every member of the Coalition, and more seriously still to nearly all mainstream media journalists. Meanwhile few people are able to tell the difference between the two species, the gentle Pleasant Gerbil and the evil Washington Bushrat. This can result in innocent people being sucked in, instead of the reverse. I use the term advisedly. So, be warned Swordsfolk. If you are considering secreting a rodent about your person, make sure you nose it very carefully. Pleasant Blarney Gerbils are completely odourless, but if you’re careful you can always smell a rotten lying rat.

NormanK

28/01/2011TalkTurkey Oh TT! Superb, simply superb! A tangy icing for AC's spicy cake. And to think it may have been left languishing in a digital desk drawer! TPS is indeed fortunate to have such a variety of skilled wordsmiths writing in such diverse styles on topics from the entirely serious to the less so. I can't begin to tell you how much I prefer this essay to the diatribes aimed at RW toadies who don't know their (*)s from a hole in the ground. At best a diatribe might burn their ears but this type of thing strikes at the very heart of the beast. You have my word that if I can get my gerbils to breed you are in line for a female pup. Incidentally, do you know how difficult it is to find good gerbil porn on the internet, that is stuff not involving humans.

nasking

28/01/2011Well done AC & Talk Turkey. Highly imaginative. Fun to read. Useful for a chuckle or twelve durin' these stressful negabore tsunamis of a response to the flood levy...led by the usual suspects...similar to the mining tax, BER, insulation, ETS...fanatical, over-the-top, hysterical responses. Politics in the 2000s. 24 hrs a day. Comin' to damage a few arteries near you. N'

Feral Skeleton

28/01/2011Brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant! I come home from half a day of trudging determinedly but aimlessly, as you do, around the local Mega Mall in search of School uniform supplies and a few salving baubles for moi, to find that Ad Astra has uncovered a new gem to sparkle brightly from the aetherial pages of The Political Sword! Not only that but the chuckles which tumbled forth uncontrollably and immediately upon reading about the 'Ghost of Toe-Knees Past', made my sore feet magically fade away from my consciousness. I must say though, AcerbicC., I saw the 'Ghost of Toe-Knee's Past' manifest itself upon my television screen the other night. It was brandishing a broom, which I think he uses as his mode of transport, in the style of Voldemort. :)

Acerbic Conehead 2

28/01/2011AA, Thank you for the opportunity to post on The Political Sword. With your leadership, and the contributions also of your regular and more casual writers, it is always my pleasure to be involved. Have a great year everyone, and I hope that, if your arthritic joints are playing up, you realise that compared to TOE-KNEE, you are always heaps better off than the position Old "STOP THE JOINTS!" finds himself in. Debbiep, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Don't forget to come back and tell us what you really think. LOL. NormanK, Thank you for your kind words. They are much appreciated especially as they come from such a talented wordsmith as yourself. I always value your contributions, so keep them coming. And TT, I’m glad you drew that clear distinction between the Blarney Castle gerbil and the Rattus Horribilis. You wouldn’t want to get confused and kiss the latter. BTW, I visited Blarney Castle once and went up to the section that houses the famous stone. However, I took one look at how far you have to stretch to kiss the bloody thing and retreated to the nearest watering hole to kiss a few pints of Guinness instead. Have a great weekend. Nasking, Yes, it’s important we keep our sense of humour in the face of the unrelenting wall of propaganda that faces us. Keep up the great work. And FS, Take the rest of the day off – you sound like you’ve done enough foot-slogging for one day!

Acerbic Conehead 2

28/01/2011I have been trying all morning to post but with no success. Then I noticed a message beside the 'name' box telling me to use a different name (hence Acerbic Conehead 2). I wonder is this something to do with the fact that my name is on the lead article, or maintenance work being done on the site?

Rx

28/01/2011[i] ... TOE-KNEE would whack them fifty times with his BUYBELL...which they called, BUYBELLBASHING. However, TOE-KNEE said this treatment was for their own good and should more accurately be described as GUYDEAD-DEMOCKRASSEE... [/i] Lol! ELLOELL! Thanks, AC, love your work.

NormanK

28/01/2011AC It's because you are the headline act - I reverted to initials and FS just uses whichever name matches her handbag that day. As blogmaster it doesn't seem to affect AA.

Ad astra reply

28/01/2011Folks As you can see we are playing with the site. It may change from moment to moment. There is more to be done with the code, and the pages (Lyn's Daily Links etc.) are to be added as well as the title. Please bear with us for a few hours yet.

Ad astra reply

28/01/2011Folks We are still playing with the site. It looks quite different from the previous one, as is appropriate at the commencement of a new year of blogging. At present you will be unable to post. I suggest you leave posting until tomorrow.

Ad astra reply

28/01/2011Folks You are now able to post comments.

Patricia WA

28/01/2011[quote]Acknowledgement to AC for his inspiration and imagination![/quote] TOE-KNEE ‘knows’ his BUYBELL is right! Science and historical research Will not convince him, despite Climate data BROWN BOB may cite! From studies of his ancient church, Reading holy scriptures In writings and in pictures He knows about those Roman times. Long ago, up in northern climes, Centurions conquered many lands, Shod in sandals, in short skirts, Helmeted and holding shields, Swords in bare brown arms and hands, They had no need of shirts. That's all his simple memory yields. All that heat and dust and blood, Mothers clinging to their babies, The screams and all the killing! Terrible, but he thought thrilling. Of course it was as hot as Hades! On that TOE-KNEE insists he’s right! But there’s a chance he’ll be proved wrong. Even now with its desert song Our mighty land, o’er EN-BEE-EN, Tells much more of what happened then. TOE-KNEE’S BUYBELL has no record Of how heroic queen BO-DEE-SEEAH Fought hard to save her country, WHALES. Against imperial Roman males. Nor how one day her heir, JOO-LEEAH, With other folk their freedom seeking, Many of them still WELSH speaking, Came to this our ‘great south land’ With all its ancient lore and mystery. Now known as OZZ-EES, proud and tanned. For good and ill they changed its history. JOO-LEEAH knows the BUYBELL's wrong As science and people sing one song. This time the Romans, with their church, Finally are left in the lurch, Their 'champion' is this TOE-KNEE chap, Spouting out his load of crap On climate, god and monarchy, Along with privilege and PAT-REE-ARCHY. They will all go! Their power with their regalia Will have no more sway in our OR-STRAY-LEEAH! PS Irregularly alternating rhymes introduced to keep you awake! (Ahem!)

Ad astra reply

28/01/2011Folks It's been a long and at times tedious day for my son-in-law, playing with the new version of the blog engine, re-arranging HTML code, getting the top image done in [i]Photoshop[/i], and getting all the features working. reCaptcha is operating again. We trust you find the site congenial and easy to use. Note that to read comments or to make a comment click on 'Comments (number of comments to date)' at the foot of the post. Your comments would be welcome, particularly if you are having any difficulties.

Ad astra reply

28/01/2011Patricia WA What a clever addition to AC's piece. Thank you. Folks I'm packing it in for the night after a long day tending [i]TPS[/i].

Feral Skeleton

28/01/2011Ad Astra, Love the new Photoshop image at the top of the blog. Good work Son-In-Law! A few points. I notice that there is dead space on the right hand side but that the posts and comments have been narrowed. Therefore, would it be possible to extend the width of the dialogue area so that we have wider comments because, and I don't know if it's just me, but I have always found it more tiresome to keep scrolling down an article or blog, plus the comments, as opposed to reading 'widely', so to speak. Secondly, I asked previously if it would be poosible to include the widgets to share the blogs across other social networking sites, such as facebook, Twitter, Reddit, Newsvine, and whatever else there is as it enables others who may want to share the blog around to do so easily with the click of a mouse. This may also come in handy in the future if we mount a campaign which needs us to get our message out quickly and to as many people as possible. Thirdly, and this is a personal pet predilection of mine, are we able to have a greater range of Emoticons included? Finally, this was a point AcerbicC. made on my previous blog. He was asking if it was possible for us to be able to include You Tube videos in our comments, especially when creative posters, such as AcerbicC., want to include a You Tube clip as part of their post. Other than those few minor niggles, as I said at the top of the comment, job well done! :)

Feral Skeleton

28/01/2011PatriciaWA, Reading your pome conjured up an image in my mind of Tony Abbott's bookcase at Parliament House. In it I imagine you would find his copy of 'The Illustrated Bible' with its illustrations of a cream-robed Jesus, white, of course(in complete contradiction of the fact he was a swarthy Middle Eastern man), complete with flowing locks and outstretched hand, ministering tenderness to the perfect little (White, again) children. In absolute and complete contrast to the manifestation in the 21st Century of the Religious Right, which has morphed into an intolerant, narrow-minded bunch of bigots and, especially in America, gun-crazy Neo Crusaders. Even if, in their mind's eye, they are still imagining themselves to be the personification of Jesus in 'The Illustrated Bible'.

Feral Skeleton

28/01/2011Oops, just saw the Twitter button. :)

NormanK

28/01/2011For those with a strong constitution, below is the link to this morning's interview of Joe Hockey and then Julia Gillard by David Koch. Be warned blathering Joe is in full flight and Koch is at his disrespectful best with the PM. I think he thought he was talking to one of his kids. http://www.news.com.au/national/struggling-families-tell-gillard-weve-done-our-bit/story-e6frfkvr-1225996233124?from=igoogle+gadget+compact+news_rss Gluttons for punishment might enjoy the PM's interview with Neil Mitchell which got more than a little heated. It was truly disgusting in my opinion. Grog also has a post on the subject. http://www.3aw.com.au/blogs/3aw-generic-blog/hinch-on-mitchells-gillard-interview/20110128-1a870.html Scroll down and click "Play interview". If you still haven't exhausted your patience, also imbedded is video of Hinch's take on the Mitchell interview which is somewhat critical of him. Ad astra I hope it is now Saturday as you read this and you are not niggled by requests after spending so long on revamping TPS. Could I support FS's request for a wider comments section if it is only a question of fiddling with the template? Your son-in-law is to be commended for his work on the banner-head - it is beautiful, as is the overall look of the site.

BSA Bob

29/01/2011I must be more innocent than I thought, I figured the MSM would take longer than this to get stuck into Gillard over the levy. Impressive is the way in which they've already laid out a smorgasbord of things we can complain about, never mind that they often contradict one another. We can be outraged at being "slugged" sums that the better heeled among us probably wouldn't bother to bend over to pick up, or if we don't fancy that we can get worked up about the spending cuts that will impact on other programs. Of course, if we want, they'll happily serve us both. Our reckless, high spending government nonetheless has no right to cut a program benefiting you. Once again a disparate bunch of political opponents, special interest pleaders, extremists, grandstanders, hangers on & self appointed experts who in practice agree on nothing & hate each others' guts will be lumped together & accorded the status of organised opposition for the duration of the campaign. The one prerequisite is that their comment must be negative. This lucky country shows every sign of needing its luck.

Ad astra reply

29/01/2011Folks The 'Comments' facility is working again. Apologies for the interruption overnight.

TalkTurkey

29/01/2011Generic Thanks AA and Lad for your labours hereon on behalf of Swordsfolk. Sounds like it's been a struggle. BSA Bob I have never seen anything like the sustained and intense media campaign against the Government atm. What sort of society do they want? I don't want to share the future with these hateful divisive unAustralians of whom Murdoch is Emperor!

Patricia WA

29/01/2011TT - my impression is that he has the same pernicious influence in the UK MSM - though the BBC is far more independent of the trend than the ABC here. The contrast between BBC1 and his channel is dramatic. Let's hope Murdoch gets his come-uppance through this phone-tapping scandal. Interesting how little profile it has here in Australia, whereas it is headline news over there. Perhaps the existence of some independent forces there have encouraged previously intimidated VIPs and celebrities to come out and challenge him. Who knows what influence peddling and intimidation is going on behind the scenes here?

Patricia WA

29/01/2011PS to my comment on Murdoch - it's good to see the the Sydney Morning Herald having a go at him. http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/blogs/media-matters/news-corp-makes-itself-easy-to-dislike/20110128-1a7iv.html Am rushing back there to comment now. I feel a responsibility to do that whenever the opportunity arises.

Jason

29/01/2011AC, A very funny read well done!

Jason

29/01/2011I've been slumming it down in Ltd News land and came across an article sorry rant from none other than Steve Lewis! the one that had the leaked emails from Godwin Gretch! Anyway in his rant he has found a labor MP who says the following "The Labor heartland feels it is being singled out in this levy," WTF http://www.news.com.au/national/alps-revolt-over-the-flood-tax/story-e6frfkvr-1225996488362

Feral Skeleton

29/01/2011'Poor Fellow My Country' if Tony Abbott ever becomes Prime Minister of this country and Murdoch aids and abets via his stranglehold on the media. I was watching Weekend Today this morning and they were in full bellyache mode about the Flood Levy. They, individuals who are probably on $3000/week each, at least, were whinging about having to pay $5/week because, get this, they were overwhelmed with School Expenses at the moment! Hmmm, that would probably be Private School Fees plus the attendant exorbitant charges the schools impose on parents at the beginning of every school year. Yet that's OK, they should have the 'Right' to choose the Private School path for their children and all the costs it entails, but ask them for $5/week to help out fellow Australians who have just had their lives turned upside down and inside out, well, they already donated at the office, snark. Nor do they make the distinction that the Flood Appeal donation is to directly go towards the people and the Levy will be used to repair infrastructure. No, they've done their bit, or they've donated their time for free, which the Opposition and the media are now encouraging them to tot up as if it were a bill they should send to the poor unfortunates, and that should be the end of it. How greedy and miserly can people get? I already know how opportunistic Abbott is prepared to be, and how far the pusillanimous Murdoch toadies in the media, like Steve Lewis, are prepared to go.

Jason

29/01/2011FS, Laurie Oakes today! http://www.couriermail.com.au/ipad/gillard-is-getting-her-gloves-on/story-fn6ck620-1225996368367 JULIA Gillard has come out fighting. "Don't patronise me!" she told a talkback jock yesterday. She's taking no nonsense. The most effective moment in Gillard's National Press Club appearance on Thursday came when she looked down the barrel of the camera and directly challenged Tony Abbott If the Opposition Leader thought a levy was OK to pay for an election promise (his madly expensive paid parental leave scheme), she asked, why was it wrong to use a levy to help rebuild Queensland after the flood disaster? It was a barb that went to the heart of the Coalition's hypocrisy. Abbott himself exposes that hypocrisy almost every time he opens his mouth on the issue. The government should simply cut spending, he says, because savings can be found "easily". Easily? It's so easy that a whole lot of the proposed savings the Coalition put forward in last year's election campaign were found by the Finance Department to be shonky. The destruction of infrastructure vital to Australia's economy affects us all. Gillard's policy response is a reasonable one. There is nothing wrong with using a moderate, one-off tax levy to supplement spending cuts in meeting the cost of the rebuilding effort. And moderate is the word. Something like half the workforce - those at the lower-paid end - will be exempt. Someone on $80,000 a year will be slugged the cost of a cup of coffee a week. Yet Abbott and his lieutenants try to make this sound like Armageddon. Their huffing and puffing is ludicrous, their alarmist exaggerations contemptible. "It is patently absurd to tax homes that themselves have been afflicted by the floods," proclaimed shadow Treasurer Joe Hockey on ABC radio on Thursday morning. "So their home's drifted down the river and now Julia Gillard comes along and says "Good news, guys - we're going to put a flood tax on you'." Political comments don't come much more insensitive than that. And it was total rubbish. If Hockey had bothered to wait a couple of hours to get the facts, he would have found that those whose homes were damaged by the floods were exempt. The announcement of the levy could prove to be an important turning point - the moment when Gillard began to look like a Prime Minister and when Abbott was revealed as a one-trick pony. Even in the face of a national disaster, it seems, the Opposition Leader's automatic recourse is to negativity and opportunism. If voters decide that is all he has, his chances of eventually moving into The Lodge will take a hit. Delivering her Press Club speech detailing the Federal Government's flood response, Gillard appeared more prime ministerial than at any time since she rolled Kevin Rudd. For six months she has looked like an OK second-in-command, promoted a notch too high in the top job, but not sure what to do with it or how to behave. Authority and gravitas were conspicuous by their absence. When Gillard visited Queensland at the height of the flood crisis she was overshadowed by Premier Anna Bligh. On Twitter, one cutting comment likened her to "Bligh's work-experience girl". Bligh was certainly impressive, but it was an impossible situation for Gillard. It was inevitable that the Premier - with information to release and actions to announce - would take the lead role and the PM would be second banana. On Thursday, announcing the Federal response, Gillard was unmistakably top banana and, for a change, looked natural in the role. She had sensible things to say, dispensed with the nervous laughter and manic arm-waving, and projected strength. Criticism that had been building among Labor MPs, shocked at her failure to grow into the PM role, has been silenced for the time being. Her take-no-prisoners approach in interviews yesterday will add to this new Caucus optimism. Gillard is at her best when she is on the offensive. She faces two big hurdles. One is the lack of selling ability shown by the Government up to now. It couldn't sell the mining tax; could not even capitalise politically on cushioning Australians from the global financial crisis. Gillard and Treasurer Wayne Swan will have to improve their advocacy skills enormously if the flood levy is not to become a political negative. And then there is the reputation this Government has gained under Rudd and then Gillard for administrative incompetence. Significant parts of the cost-cutting Gillard announced, to provide two-thirds of the flood reconstruction funds, involved dumping dud policies that should not have been adopted in the first place. The $430 million cash-for-clunkers program was the stand-out. The waste and mismanagement involved in some economic stimulus programs - especially the home insulation scheme and Gillard's own school halls program - guarantee there will be plenty of scepticism about the Government's ability to spend the flood infrastructure money wisely. This makes the job of selling the levy even more difficult. It is interesting that Gillard's objection to being patronised yesterday came in response to a plea that she "manage the money properly, please". Her sensitivity was all too obvious. Laurie Oakes is political editor for the Nine Network. His column appears every Saturday in The Courier-Mail.

BSA Bob

29/01/2011Talk Turkey Yes. The media coverage is atrocious. Everything this Government does is criticised on principle. If you can find anything, anything at all negative to say they'll find room for you. Most outlets appear to have grudgingly outlined the basics of this relief plan & thereafter made no effort to correct or rein in any of the misinformation or misapprehensions so gleefully spread about. Some of it is indeed weird stuff. Jason Wasn't Steve Lewis the one who dutifully asked the Mother of all Dorothy Dixers a few years ago, when he invited Bush2 to tell us at length how terrible we'd all be if Australia quit Iraq? I don't lose sleep following his career, but he seems to have been shunted out to the tabloids for a while now.

NormanK

29/01/2011Your North Queensland correspondent will almost certainly go off-air in the next 24 hours as we batten down for a visit from Cyclone Anthony. It's hard to know what to wish for at the moment. To hope that it doesn't hit my house or town is to hope that it hits someone else's house or town. Perhaps it will turn and run parallel to the coast or find landfall in an unpopulated section of the coast but the first is unlikely and the second is harder and harder to find these days. In the mean time, I will nurse my ever-widening depression over what is unfolding around Australia at present. Is there not one journalist or commentator with a decent sized audience who is willing to debunk the "waste" meme circulating in the public debate? Best exemplified by Mitchell's "please don't waste it (the levy receipts)" in his patronising wiser-than-thou voice. Even Oakes' article (thanks Jason) includes :[quote]The waste and mismanagement involved in some economic stimulus programs - especially the home insulation scheme and Gillard's own school halls program[/quote]. Were the audit reports on these schemes written in fading ink and are no longer legible? The GFC deniers seem to have more than a toe-hold now in the public consciousness with constant reference to the "$900 Plasma TV cheques". How many of these same commenters sent their cheques back saying "No thanks I'm doing alright" or "I don't think the country can afford to do this at present - save my cheque for a rainy day"? Not a bloody one I bet. There is something rotten in the state of Denmark, my friends and it isn't going to go away anytime soon. Bore it up 'em Julia! What have you got to lose? These whingers can't even see that infrastructure restoration will provide them with cheaper primary products sooner rather than later. Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Whinge, whinge, whinge!

Acerbic Conehead 2

29/01/2011Rx, Thanks for your support. I hope the weekend is going well. NormanK, Thanks for confirming why I couldn’t use the same name while posting. Also, I see now why JOOLEEAH got in trouble for not having a handbag – FS borrowed it! And thanks also for the links to those interviews with the PM. They were so rude to her, it beggars belief. I think a lot of these commentators share in the same born-to-rule mentality and can’t come to terms with someone from the other side of politics showing them up. AA, Nice look on the new format for the blog – very impressive! Well done, and a special commendation to your son-in-law. When he’s finished helping you, tell him TOE-KNEE wants him to get up to Queensland quicksmart to fix his baked beans tin. Patricia WA, Thank you for your poem on the end-times for TOE-KNEE’s pernicious agenda. Irregularly alternating rhymes or not, it is right on the money. FS, You’re right, the image of Jesus hijacked by the Religious Right is nothing like the original depicted in the bible. Your comment reminded me of the answer given by Gandhi to the question was he a Christian. He said, “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ”. Hope your school uniform hunting expedition bore some fruit, lol. BSA Bob, Thanks for your comment also. And no, I don’t think you’re innocent (in the naive sense). Like any other decent, hopeful and concerned citizen, you naturally expect everyone to muck-in when a crisis hits. Instead, what we get, as you say, is a “disparate bunch of political opponents, special interest pleaders, extremists, grandstanders, hangers on & self appointed experts”. Surely we deserve a lot better than this? TT and Patricia, You are both identifying the “pernicious influence” of LimitedNews and “Emperor” Murdoch. As you say, this unfolding scandal in the UK could be very interesting. Jason, Thanks again for your encouragement. I’m glad you enjoyed the story. And thanks also for the link to the Steve Lewis article. These blokes appear to exist in a parallel universe, and should be writing scripts for Play School instead of masquerading as credible political commentators. There is a contrast with the Laurie Oakes article, but Laurie still can’t help himself with churning out, against the PM again, that “lack of gravitas” tripe. To paraphrase Charles Dickens, there is more gravy than gravitas about Luurie Oakes.

2353

29/01/2011All the best NormanK - hope the cyclone/s don't belt you around too much. I've been through a few when I lived up there I'm frankly disgusted with the whole flood thing at the moment. Those that can't get the grants moaning about those that can, the media (who created the current climate of "fiscal responsibility" - for want of a better term) bashing a number of Govts that are actually trying to make a difference and an opposition leader who can't manage better than a series of three word slogans being feted by the media. I'm happy Gillard told Mitchell off, if I was in Melbourne I would have tried to ring in and do it too. Sunrise's "lets get the tradies to Queensland" campaign is purely self serving as the host of the program demonstrated in an interview with Gillard on Friday. What will it take for Abbott to stop playing politics - a true leader would have ceased hostilities at least until the authorities have accounted for all the missing. What happened to the egalitarian "Sunburnt country" with droughts and flooding rains. It shouldn't be a "Me too" country with doubters and flooding whines. The areas of Victoria that were subject to bushfires have strongly supported flood relief efforts across Australia - does it really take a disaster in the same suburb/locality to make people think about others in 2011? One would hope not but apparently I'm wrong.

2353

29/01/2011Forgot two things - the site freshen-up looks great AA - congratulations to you, your son-in-law (and your daughter for marrying such a clever fellow!) A disclaimer on the above post, I am eligible for the immediate assistance grant (which would total $2800 in my case). I'm not claiming it. I'm also aware of the implications of not claiming the grant. Something like 10 of our friends had water over their floorboards, our clean up was the purchase of 2 bottles of Vanilla Fridge Wipe - about $12. I know there are thousands that need the Government support far more than I do.

Feral Skeleton

29/01/2011Jason, Lol. 'One Trick Tony'. :)

Feral Skeleton

29/01/2011Tony Abbott is pure evil, and Sky News is not much better for promoting this opportunistic pond scum on the drying out dregs of the Queensland floods: http://www.skynews.com.au/politics/article.aspx?id=570452&vId=

TalkTurkey

29/01/2011Janice, PatriciaWA, Ad astra, Acerbic Conehead, Miglo, Satirists and Rhymewrights All, First thing I want to say, It's REALLY NICE to have people appreciate satire, and most especially, verse. Mine in particular of course, but the fact that several people are into it is very stimulating, especially when we have somewhere to send it to, i.e., TPS. People express more delight and approval and depth of understanding here on The Political Sword than I feel that most of my fellow ‘poets’ - nearly all of the ‘vers libre’ type, be it said - do at the "Friendly Street Poets", which meets once a month in Adelaide. That's a broad brush strike it’s true, and I hasten to add there's certainly at least some there who do love well-turned rhyme and meter, but they’re vastly in the minority. Three or four at most in 80 or so. I’m a rhyme tragic myself, and it is a bit sad to write well-turned verse if no-one appreciates it. It takes very much more effort to create than prose, especially if as I do the authors insist on perfect echoes, precise timing, true-to-life expressions and natural cadences. But once you’ve got a good rhyme it’s there forever. That’s one big difference between rhyming verse and prose. Good prose you might remember a phrase or a line. Verse you may well remember word-perfect in whole swatches and for all your life. Not forgetting that virtually all song lyrics are in verse, there the melody and the rhyme reinforce each other as ideally as do steel and concrete. Only, unlike solid matter, forever! ’Swonderful when you think about it. Thank Dog English is my mother tongue, because no other language is within an ICBM of it for vocabulary. CHOICE of words is vital for worthwhile rhyme, and English just offers so many more. (That word CHOICE, you know you can mirror it in a vertical plane and it says CHOICE ? – Pointed out in Still Life With Woodpecker eh!) But I digress. Well not really, fun with words like GLENELG, and NORWICH ((K)Nickers Off Ready When I Come Home), and ALL sorts of plays on words are part of the infinite treasure chest we inherit with this marvel of a language of ours. Surely, all said and done, the most marvellous of all achievements of the human race. We take it so much for granted – and it is just another proof of its marvellousness that we can do so. At least if we learn it from babyhood. I just love it. Warts and all, and English is like a moonscape with warts. But I digress again. Sorry. [As I write I am watching, aghast, the ABC’s take on the Government’s proposed Flood Levy. I am aghast because I have just watched Channel 7’s coverage. APPALLING! And now the ABC is following like a lapdog. Urrrggghhhhhh. Pathetic, and very sinister. Well not sinister, sinister = left, this is very far Right. This is the best-off country in the world and these people on big incomes are squealing that the levy will have them malnourishing their kids!] But I digress again. Sorry. Janice, thanks for the thought, and Ad astra, for the consideration of her thought, about somehow collecting and collating the efforts of poetasters and satirists on TPS. It's not an impossibility to collect it, there can only be a limited amount in the history of TPS, and there could certainly be a sort of sidecar containing the accumulating verse and satire bouncing along with the Sword’s charging hog, if AA were to want to find the time, or if someone with NormanK’s skills were to take on the task. [BTW Janice I have noticed that you turn a pretty neat phrase yourself, you won’t escape the Sword if any such collection as you propose eventuates.] That said, as has been pointed out by others, most satire in prose has an effective lifespan little longer than today’s newspaper, and probably less than most cartoons, which after all are compressed visual satire themselves. Some does have such universality, including humour, that it does endure, but that’s the exception. Yet the best of rhyming verse, and only the very best at that, whether satirical or anecdotal or other, may take on a life of its own, may reinforce memory, may immortalise an event as the event immortalises it. A fun example, hardly political though, is my pome about Paul the Psychic Octopus. (They’re making a STATUE of him now would you believe! Who wouldn’t be overjoyed to be dead for that sort of immortality?!) Remember the first two lines, to the tune of Puff the Magic Dragon . . ? . . “Paul the Psychic Octopus lived in a jar; He would’ve loved a life at sea but he never got that far ...” So . . . TUNE (lifted from PP&M) . . . RHYME . . . and HUMOROUS TRAGIC EVENT . . . All mutually reinforcing . . . So, I DEFY Yous EVER to forget those two lines! [Here let me say Sorry Folks if I use my own stuff as examples, they come to my mind first and I know what was in my own mind in writing them.] For the most part, you might see, my own verse has been less than salubrious, [See NormanK’s expressions of distaste for my billets doux to Limpy and Abbortt and Snotty Joe etc, relative to his approval my Pleasant Gerbil expose] where my intent has been to spit ridicule and contempt at the ridiculous and contemptible Coalition and its spitlickers in the MSM and the hateful amongst the bloggers on this site . . . Did anyone see the ace Rake series on TV recently? A barrister dedicated to lowering the Bar, Oh it was rich Aussie comic drama! . . . Well, lowering the bar on the Rotten Right has taken up a lot of what I’ve pomed here. Not all, but I probably ought to be ashamed of myself for some of the things I’ve said about Poodle and Snotty Joe and Abbortt in my Rudeness Challenges . . . Oddly enough I can’t bring myself to feel at all that way. (I must say Yous lot are altogether too unrude though, I think I got one or maybe two challengers and I really had to award myself the lowest marks and thereby win outright.) But very perceptive readers will have seen a few little gleamings of some prettier pearls amongst the piggy-poo in some of my lines, I hope, because that’s where rhyming verse transcends its plebeian pedestrian persona and becomes proper perspicacious Poetry. (Reminds me of a silly rhyme I once committed as part of a greater offence against my mother tongue :- “. . . as allegorists almost all align alliteria, To pee whilst sat on mat makes Cat an ‘On-a-mat-to-pee-er’!”) But I digress. Again. Sorry. It is time-demanding and mentally distracting to write satire, and more especially verse, that one is not ashamed to subject others to, and I admit to some sadness that on blogs it all flows out to cyber-sea just as fast as any off-the-cuff tweet; it’s archived here it’s true, but along with ordinary posts, you sort of don’t see the poet-tree for the wooden prose-posts unless you really go looking. If indeed it is particularly apposite and well-crafted, it does seem sort of Love’s-Labour’s-Lost. (Still Life’s like that.) But I would be loth to erase from my own records all or indeed any of the verse that I have written, I do feel somehow it is worth something after all, and that is even potentially after I shuffle off this mortal coil . . . simply because of the essentially eternal nature of rhyme itself. As the Bard (in this case moi) says: “So many words! If thoughts are Birds, The only substance known For feathers, flesh and brain, is words – And written word is bone.” Unwritten thoughts fly away never to be heard from or seen again. If you write them down, you may find them if you look. But if you make them rhyme with perfect meter, you’ll probably remember them forever! Anyway, all that said, Janice, I guess I’d really like very much to see the our verse and satire collected and in some manner collated, not in book form though I think, it takes so much less resources in cyberspace, but poor AA and Lad would have to be involved if for example there was a sort of archival section devoted to the more enduring efforts. It could turn out to be a very worthwhile project, resulting in a kind of verbal Bayeux tapestry of political events in Oz. A pretty thought. Well gutsy anyway. A matter-of-fact commentary would need to precede many of the works, that’s not too hard for a self-motivated someone with proven writing skills, and there would need to be ways of cross-referencing them, e.g., by date and by subject, but it’s all possible . . . matter of fact I know of someone who ticks all the boxes . . YOU wanna do it Janice ????? . . . Awwwww . . . Go on . . ! . .

Jason

29/01/20112353, on the subject of the "sunrise host" I gave up watching that buffoon after the Beijing Olympics! for some reason of which I can't explain, he seemed with his jingoistic behavior to be dog whistling to "Cronulla" racists! Now I could be wrong but there is something about the show that doesn't sit right with me!

TalkTurkey

29/01/2011Swordsfolk, I did as I said I would, sent the Convergence Review mob a submission, such as it was, on the last day possible (yesterday) and received a reply yesterday too. There is a caution at the end of it saying Oooohhh NO NO NO Don’t you dare publish this, it’s for your eyes only (paraphrasing), so I’ll paraphrase it anyway. It’s not really very private, but I’ll do as they say. What I done, I sent them a brief covering note saying what I think is important, namely media bias and concentration in so few hands, and then I included my big pome The Lass At Yarralumla, as a stake in the ground as to how I feel Australia is being served by the Media and in particular the ABC. That’s all. They thank me for my submission, but point out that their guidelines prevent them from publishing anything “likely to offend sections of the community.” [Hell No! Couldn’t have that! TT]* They advise me that they “intend to publish the first four paragraphs, removing the section beginning with ‘Last year I wrote’.” They give me the option of submitting a revised version, and an email address. I won’t do that though, honour is satisfied, at least they looked at my submission critically and immediately. *[Swordsfolks, this is not all-in-all a gripe at the Review Team. But I think it’s a shame if they don’t offend anyone. What about the MSM journalists offending ME? They do it ALL THE TIME!] They sign off politely, “Yours sincerely, The Convergence Review Team” Here’s my skinny submission, the pome follows, at least I hope they pass it around amongst themselves! From: (Me) To: convergence Subject: Murdochracy and the ABC I am concerned only with the concentration of power that has occurred within the mainstream media, in particular the degree of ownership of world media outlets by Mr Rupert Murdoch, and the effect this has had on other outlets, most seriously including the ABC. I think it is self-evident that robust progressive opinion has largely been expunged from the mainstream media, while shock jocks and rabble-rousers are allowed to dominate public opinion. The hysteria being whipped up as I write about the Flood Levy is as good an example as I could hope for. Like so many other issues, e.g. asylum seekers, aboriginal intervention, and the NBN itself, this anti-rational agitprop is deliberately and deleteriously divisive of our nation. In recent years and especially in the last election the MSM has been unremittingly opposed to the Progressive side of politics, and this media bias came within the smallest possible margin of toppling what had been a highly successful Government. The Convergence enquiry must openly and courageously address this aspect of the prevailing social climate. It threatens the very fabric of our society that so much power resides in so few and so selfish hands. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (That’s where they castrated it) <<<<<<<<<<<<< But it went on . . . Last year I wrote the history of the aftermath of the Federal Election in verse. Part of it is apposite, and I reproduce it below. In particular I would draw attention to lines 1-8, and 61-88. That these lines still ring so true after mature consideration and more experience of the tactics of those involved reinforces my opinion that they were right in the first place. Enjoy. Murdochracy must be countered, and the ABC returned to the informative and even-handed organisation of yore. (Signed Me) Swordsfolk you may think I should not republish such a long pome here as I did on October 12, please thrash me if you do think that, but in view of, one, the AWFUL media bias we are now witnessing, two, the Convergence Review itself, and three, Janice’s suggestion plus others’ responses re collecting satire and verse, (and four, if there’s anything political I’ve ever written intending it to be a ‘keeper’, it is The Lass at Yarralumla most of all, it is MEANT to be archival, and Lest We Bloody-well Forget.) So . . . REMEMBER . . . Lines 1-8, and 61-88. The Lass At Yarralumla [A Parody on A.B. (Banjo) Paterson’s “The Man From Snowy River”] There was panic in the parties as the poll results came down, For Left and Right dead-heated on that day; The Government’s survival stood on very slippery ground And the hacks and experts all had heaps to say. All the journalists and politicians came from near and far To add their sound and fury to the fight, And all you heard on ABC was Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah While the Murdoch Press screamed Right is Right! 8 There were Liberals like Joe Hockey, a fat and lazy blob, Who had fallen at the first jump when he’d tried, Malcolm Turnbull, once-and-wanna-be, and poor old Andrew Robb While Phony Tony Abbott ran and lied. There was an effete mincing poodle, known as Whining Chrissie Pyne, Creepy Kevin Andrews, washed-out Warren Entsch; Token female Julie Bishop, who thinks plagiarism fine; That about exhausts the Liberals’frontbench. 16 They were confident of victory, and hubris they suffused, And they claimed that they’d won power by a nose; They squealed that they weren’t guilty of what Treasury accused: Multi-Billion Dollar Holes, and things like those. They claimed they had the better of the pan-Australian vote; They called themselves the Government-in-Waiting; They said they’d stop invasion of Australia by boat, While the Media pitched in with Labor-baiting. 24 And on the Left was Kevin Rudd, who’d won the last time ’round, But fallen at a hurdle months before, With Wayne Swan on Economy, a stayer well-renowned, And of Labor fancied runners, many more. Stephen Smith, Nicola Roxon, Combet, Albanese, Crean, The list was long of talents deep and broad: They were clever and committed, and experienced and keen: A well-matched team compared to Abbott’s horde. 32 And one was there, Our Ranga Lass, of feisty fighting breed, Like a Queen Boadicea, well-advised, Flashing Gaelic wit and glamour, with Crow-Eater in her creed, And Makybe Diva fire in her eyes. She had led the charge for Labor, but she’d very nearly failed, (Though equally, she’d very nearly won), But Julia Gillard held her nerve while lesser beings quailed, And stayed the course while Abbott made his run. 40 There was one Sandgroper National, a new bloke, Tony Crook, And no-one really knew which way he’d vote, But he seems so undetermined, even bookies won’t make book, Though he’s paraded in the Coalition’s float. 44 Andrew Wilkie, (Independent), and young Adam Bandt, (a Green) Pledged on certain terms to join with Gillard’s crew, And not bring down the Government, for both of them were keen Not to support a Coalition coup. And the way that Gillard wooed them was a credit to them both, From decent forthright dealings to a mutual binding oath; So though Abbott now claimed 73, Gillard had 74 - But she really needed 76 – She had to score two more! 52 There were three more Independents, no-one knew how they might jump; Robert Oakeshott, Tony Windsor, and Bob Katter: And the way the hurdles tumbled, all the Force was with that rump, And the Fourth Estate was full of Twitter twatter. Those three were ex-Nat mavericks, from effin’ FNQ, Where brumbies weird as unicorns abound: Would they jump together?-Left or Right?-Split 2-1? Or, 1-2? This whole race was on entirely unknown ground! 60 Then from the Murdoch stables all the hustlers made their run: They were breathing fire and brimstone every breath: That Labor’s illegitimate, that Abbott’s mob had won, And that any tryst with Brown and Greens was Death. 64 Bloated with his self-importance was conniving Laurie Oakes, And Piers Ackermann, most bigoted of all, And the first one to throw stones, that loathsome, hateful Alan Jones: They’re three key bricks in the Murdochratic Wall. There was Andrew “Anal” Bolt , and that Glenn Milne, the drunken thug, Grabbing sleazily at any sleazy grab, And that ABC lickspittle, Chris Uhlmann, smooth and smug, And Annabel, the slyly-sidling Crabb. 72 There was sour Red Kez O’Brien, seemingly forever trying To skewer Julia with some cunning stab; And Tony “Look-Me” Jones, interrupting her in tones That show he thinks he holds sole Royal Right of Gab. There was Fran ‘’Ms Jelly” Kelly, Michelle Grattan lacking teeth, And Miss Trivia, Virginia Trioli; And that smartarse Barrie Cassidy, with his snide asides and acidy, In ABC alliances unholy. 80 So Our Ranga Lass was targeted by jibes and sexist jokes: Her Titian locks were tweaked, her finely-chiselled nose took pokes From those of the moral wee-ness of a teensy flaccid penis – And unkindest cut of all came from that wimp-out by Megalogenis! Thus was Julia besieged: just Laura Tingle stood her friend, And challenged Abbott on her comments page; In chivalry and courage she was loyal to the end: The one fair Australian journo of The Age. 88 But still the Fascist minions, led by Phony Tony Abbott, Went a-raging and a-fulminating on: How they’d really won the Government, and they were gonna grab it, Until many in the Left feared we were gone. 92 But while Abbott fumed and fretted, bumbling bully through and through, Trying bribery and histrionic threats, In attempts to win the Indies (and he needed at least two), Julia Gillard was as subtle as it gets. She was thoughtful, diplomatic, in conciliatory tone, And the Indies saw that what she says she means, Until even weird Bob Katter, mad as Alice’s mad Hatter, Said he’d found some common values with the Greens! 100 So we waited, hopeful, fearful, as the weights were counted in: Were we losers, were we winners? Would we wince, or would we grin? We were hanging on the numbers, on the comments, on the hints - If not a gleeful grin, then an excruciating wince! But throughout 16 long days, while all us Aussies held our breath, Our Ranga Lass ne’er wilted from the hate: She fought to win the issue as if it were life or death: It was grand to see that Lass negotiate! 108 But still, no-one knew the outcome, until on Day Seventeen, When Bob Katter called a conference at one: And when he did, he voted (as some said they had foreseen), With Abbott – Just one more seat, we’d be done! For the parties now were neck-and-neck, three-score-and-14 all: The margin would be minimally thin; If those last two Independents split, the Government must fall, For Labor needed both of them to win. 116 Now all the weight of government was held in two men’s hands: And never had the balance been so fine; Would they take a national view, or yield to parish-pump demands? We held our breath, and waited for a sign. And at last just two hours later, those two last men made their move: Our hearts in trepidation wildly throbbed: One party would be jubilant as winners they would prove, While the losers all would scream that they was robbed! 124 First to speak was Tony Windsor, and he gave his solemn word He’d faithfully support the Labor side; Effectively he said that Tony Abbott was absurd - The Coalition cause was now denied! But that still left Robert Oakeshott: if he went the other way, The parties would be deadlocked, which would mean There would have to be a new election, and without delay, The likes of which this land had never seen. 130 So still we waited, heart in mouth, while Oakeshott took his time To explain in full his reasons for his vote; Though the media was furious, as if it were a crime They had to listen first before they wrote. And seventeen minutes later, as the almanac will show He gave Julia the seat she sorely craved; And after all the arguments, at long last now we know: - HOORAY! The Labor Government is SAVED! 138 Now up at Yarralumla, where the diplomats may raise Their glasses of Chateau Lafitte on high, Where the chandeliers of crystal through the frosty evenings blaze, And the VIP jets streak the azure sky, And where around the Parliament the votes of aye or nay Decide the laws by which we must abide, The Maid at Yarralumla holds the Vandal hordes at bay, And we Lefties hail Our Ranga Lass with pride. 144 (Janice, if I've written anything worth TPS archiving, this is #1)

Jason

29/01/2011For those who have the stomach for it here is One trick Tony's address to the baby Libs! http://www.scribd.com/doc/47754501/11-01-29-Address-to-the-2011-Federal-Young-Liberal-Convention-Gold-Coast

TalkTurkey

29/01/2011Jase, Skelly, Wouldn't that be "One Prick Tony" - A perfect Spoonerism, and SO-O-O-O apt!

Jason

29/01/2011From the above One Trick Tony says "So, if the Prime Minister is prepared to drop this tax, in a spirit of national unity, the Coalition would sit down with the government to negotiate that $1.8 billion in extra savings" Sounds more like his numbers men might have said something

Patricia WA

29/01/2011Talk Turkey - not appropriate to suggest to Janice that she follow up her helpful and flattering suggestion by asking her to do the shit work of collation for you. Hi Janice, contact me via Cafe Whispers blog master, Miglo, and I'll happily send you my collated collection when finalised. Should be soon since it's a labor of love for my brother whose days are numbered.

Feral Skeleton

29/01/2011Talk Turkey, PatriciaWA, and AcerbicC.,(Plus that little bit on the side every now and again from NormanK), I am in awe of you guys and your abilities. :)

Feral Skeleton

29/01/2011Jason, Latest Morgan poll; Labor 52.5 : Libs 47.5. Are they the numbers you were talking about? :)

TalkTurkey

29/01/2011WHOA! Patricia! "asking her to do the shit work of collation for you. . . " Dog Almighty! Where the #@*% did that come from? I am gobsmacked! Not for ME. For US. Since before I ever knew TPS existed. Janice suggested it, WE, including HERSELF, and most particularly YOU, would ALL have cause to be pleased, it was in a pure spirit of cameraderie and supportiveness and encouragement that I suggested that she might like to sub-edit a collection, it is surely PRECISELY ABSOLUTELY appropriate. What would be inappropriate would be if someone did the collating and commentary without further reference to her! Patricia I am really hurt. Shame on you for reading me that way and in those terms. My own collecting from past TPS's I am happy to do, it's easy, it was not at all my desire to get anyone else to do it, but the whole job of collating and cross-referencing and introducing ALL the people's work is a matter for a sub-editor (where AA is Editor); preferably someone with an abiding interest, with facility at writing in order to introduce topics, and in Janice's case having had such long association with TPS in particular. It's up to her whether she wants to follow through on her own idea. And it's NOT up to you to ill-judge my motives thus. No joke. I can only think that between jet-lag and bracing yourself for anticipated grief you got your wires crossed. I hope that's all.

Jason

29/01/2011FS, No not those numbers! I'm suggesting the party room, Abbott only got the leadership by 1, and now senior coalition figures in QLD somehow have to explain to their electorates why One trick Tony has said Qld - get stuffed. I want to damage Gillard more than I want to fix your broken infrastructure

Acerbic Conehead 2

29/01/2011Word has come via the Aborigines’ EN-BEE-EN system that TOE-KNEE is planning to hot-foot it to CIDKNEE to regain control of the First Fleet. However, his erstwhile mates there aren’t happy – they wish TOE-KNEE would stay where he is and leave them in peace. It seems to have finally dawned on them that he isn’t the messiah after all. As the EN-BEE-EN apparatus can also communicate songs (after all, didn’t the Stones name their band after a more mobile one of them), here is the ditty the Coalition First Fleet leaders in CIDKNEE asked the Aborigines to transmit to Queensland, so that TOE-KNEE can get the message. It is loosely based on The Beatles’ classic, “Get Back”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6G7MkBMVxE :- ( TOE-KNEE, you’re a man who’s shipwrecked and a loner But hopin’ it won’t last TOE-KNEE, tryin’ to leave your home in Woop Woop, Bananazona For some CIDKNEEsida grass Get back, get back Get back to where you once belonged Get back, get back Get back to where you once belonged Get back TOE-KNEE – go home! :- ( Get back, get back Back to where you once belonged Get back, get back Get back to where you once belonged. Get back TOE :- ( Sweet Julie Bishop is a wide-eyed rival And so is Chrissy Pyne All the guys around say they’ll swear it on the BUYBELL To keep you outa sight n’ outa mind Get back, get back Get back to where you once belonged Get back, get back Get back to where you once belonged Get back TOE-KNEE – go home! :- ( Get back, get back Get back to where you once belonged Get back, get back Get back to where you once belonged Get back TOE-KNEE :- ( Your LEVY’s waiting for you Help you re-do your bathroom Pay off some of your great big loanie Get on home TOE-KNEE Get back, get back Get back to where you once belonged

Feral Skeleton

29/01/2011Another nice rebuttal from Deltoid's blog to Andrew Bolt's latest Anti-Global Warming Crusade piece: http://scienceblogs.com/deltoid/2011/01/andrew_bolt_column_flooded_wit.php

NormanK

29/01/2011FS It's been a while since I've been referred to as "that little bit on the side every now and again" but as Janis Joplin exhorted us - Get It While You Can. As a devout Non-believer in polls (heh heh) the latest Morgan results are a refreshing change from the fetid media climate at present. 2353 Thanks for your well-wishes. I've sat through quite a few cyclones over the years and I have to say it doesn't get any easier. More prepared - yes. Less anxious - no. Jason Tony Abbott + spirit of national unity = oxymoron.

Patricia WA

29/01/2011No, TT, I'm not jet lagged, nor suffering from anticipated grief. Nor are there any crossed wires in my comment. I thought very carefully about that 'yours' rather than 'ours' and so do not resile from it one bit. Had you carefully read my considered response some days ago to Janice's kind and flattering suggestion you would know that I thought it would be fairly simple for each of us to interweave pieces chronologically once we'd done our own work of collation by date, and by incident, given a dedicated thread here or elsewhere. That WHOA belongs elsewhere. I note that it was just an hour before you responded so precipitously to my comment in your usual headlong style. I often admire that in you and appreciate just how driven you are to express what you think and feel. Sometimes, though, a bit more re-thinking and self editing could make your offerings even more powerful. That old saying about brevity and oratory often stops me in my tracks before pressing the 'comment' button. Much as it hurts to dispense with a juicy word, a line or a stanza here and there, it sometimes makes for more impact. Even so I still wonder if I could have done things differently. A propos of which you asked a while back for feedback on your re-peating already published stuff here when you want to make a strong point. I have been giving some thought on how to respond to that. But here goes.... Much more effective, I feel, since it's been published here before, for you to take us back to the appropriate site with a simple lead there and to follow up with your current observation, which then might have more impact. Given the ease of back referencing on the net and availability of our own private collections it's probably wiser to abandon the idea of a shared TPS collection e.g. I loved your little printed book of wild life poems and have had requests from family friends for copies. You obviously are well across the publishing process. It would be a pity if your distinctive offerings were lost among those as different in style and content as those of AC, myself and other TPS verse contributors.

jj

29/01/2011To all Swordians, I agree that the levy proposed by Goolia is a small cost to the Australian public but she has dug herself into a very deep hole by saying some of the things she did in her Press Club Speech: 1. She said that if the expected cost of the rebuilding blew out past initial estimates that the rest of the money would be found by making extra spending cuts. This then initially sparks the question, "well why dont you just make the extra cuts instead of the levy?"... silly, silly politics! 2. She tried to turn the levy into a mate-ship tax, obviously underestimating how much some people in those lower income groups gave away in donations to the effected...dumb again! All in all Gillard is doing an waful job of trying to sell the thing. She is droning on and on in every interview she does; repeating cliche after cliche. her performance on Sunrise the other morning was awful, repeating her same lines over and over, and barely ever answering the question (plus she looked bloody awful). Goolia could learn a hell of a lot from Anna in QLD: avoid hyperbole, dont drone on, answer all questions directly, and cut the over exaggerated hand movements!

Ad astra reply

29/01/2011Folks This comment is to explain some of the changes that have taken place within [i]The Political Sword[/i] with the upgrade to the latest version of BlogEngine.NET. First I should mention that because it is a free off-the-shelf product, flexibility is limited because one is restricted to one of a number of ‘themes’ for the site, most of which are unsuitable for a blog site on politics. I trust you will approve of the header, which was designed to give the message that this site is mainly about federal politics, politicians and commentators, which we put to the sword. The top menu The default position is ‘Home’. Under ‘Archive’ all the posts since [i]TPS[/i] began are listed, with the most recent at the top, categorized under the four tags in use: ‘Gillard Government’, ‘Liberal’, ‘Media’ and ‘National events’. The same item may be listed under several or all tags. This replaces what was called ‘Sword Watch’. ‘Contact’ enables you to send me an email. By the way, please ignore the ‘Sign in’ option at the top right of the header. That is only for site administrators. The left panel You will note that what was previously in the right panel is on the left. The ‘Page List’ has been restricted to Lyn’s Links, with Lyn’s Daily Links at the top and previous months below, in alphabetical rather than date order. Below that is the search facility, which I urge to use when looking for past posts. Using keywords you can search previous pieces and include a search of comments if you wish. Then comes the calendar with the dates of posting linked to the posts. Following this is the archive of posts in chronological month order, all linked to the named month. The number in brackets indicates the number of posts that month. Below that there are the five most ‘Recent Posts’, and the five most ‘Recent Comments’ on the current post, all linked. The primary post Occupying much of the width of the page, it has the time and date of posting of the piece and the author under the title, and above that, links to one or two previous posts. The text is wrapped around close to the right margin. If it’s too small, enlarge by holding ‘Control’ or ‘Command’ while pressing +. Actions panel In contrast to the previous version where the ‘comments’ link was at the top, to read and make comments, go to the ‘Actions’ panel at the end and click ‘Comments’. The number of comments to date follows ‘Comments’, in brackets. The comments box is as before but the symbols for bold, italics, underline and quote are separated for easier use. To use them, highlight the text to be emphasized, click the appropriate symbol and the code will be applied. reCaptcha is also in use in this version. Some have commented that the width of the comments text is less than before. This is due mainly to the text wrapping round short of the right margin, and partly because of the largish font. We are investigating to see if the code for these features can be changed to allow a greater amount of text across the comments section. If you prefer a wider display of text, check the appearance of the text when you click ‘Comments RSS’. On my iMac the text is spread across the screen; but on my Dell laptop it is not so and is rather clunky. We are checking to see if that can be modified. Of course you can only read comments there, not make them. In the ‘Actions’ panel you can also email the address of the piece, and access Yahoo’s ‘delicious’, which facilitates archiving of pieces in categories. You have to join to use it. ‘Permalink’ is also there; it enables you to bookmark the URL of any piece. Social media As requested, we have added Twitter, the button being at the top of the left panel. Click it to see the latest tweets I have made from [i]The Political Sword[/i]. The name I use on Twitter is Adastra5. There you can join Twitter and follow me. Messages can be directed to your computer, iPad or iPhone. This is my first experience of Twitter. I intend to use it sparingly to highlight new posts, stand-out comments and useful links. Your feedback will give me a guide about how useful it is. It seems to be used widely in political and media circles; time will tell how well it plays out for us. Feedback You can rate a piece by clicking on the stars above the ‘Actions’ panel. It you click the fifth (right) star, your rating will be recorded as 5; if you click the first, as 1. Your feedback by way of comments is always useful. Thank you for your complimentary remarks about the header and the general appearance of the new site. Specific remarks, such as about column width, prompt us to check if any improvement can be effected within the limitations imposed by this freebie. There is still some cleaning up of duplicate posts, some of which are attributed to a fictitious ‘Fred’, a name we used during the last site revision. Anyway, please let me know if there is any way we might improve the appearance, functionality and usefulness to you of [i]The Political Sword[/i].

Jason

29/01/2011jj, Do you look at anything you post on here? 1.Donations to the flood appeal tax deductible 2 Apart from the NBN where is the rest of Abbott's fat? jj last time I looked there were $3billion worth of budget savings measures he's blocking in the Senate. 4 "(plus she looked bloody awful)" do you care to add a photo of your self old acid drop? All in all jj your like your boss long on rhetoric short on solutions! Fancy being lectured by a party hack who's own party's costings after the election had a $11 billion dollar black hole in it

Ad astra reply

29/01/2011jj Your comment is entirely predictable. It is clear that you intensely dislike Julia’s voice, what you see as her repetitiveness, her use of clichés, what you see as her not answering questions, her ‘exaggerated’ hand movements, and her appearance. She makes ‘silly’ political mistakes, you see her as a poor salesman, her politics is ‘dumb’, and to boot, to you she looks’ bloody awful’. Nothing she does or says is right according to you and likely never will be. It’s curious, but I feel the same detestation of your idol Tony Abbott. I find his nasty, vindictive politics abhorrent, his utterances appalling, his political opportunism disgusting, his negative politics repugnant, his speech condescending and arrogant, and his appearance and speech distasteful. Nothing appeals to me at all about that man. How does that suit you? Is there any point in my telling you how poorly I regard the man who wants to be PM, the leader of this country? Probably not, any more than you telling me, and others here, what you think of Julia Gillard. Why do you bother? Does it make you feel better when you vent your spleen as you did with your last post? Well if it’s therapeutic for you, it is the opposite for me, and I suspect for others here also. Perhaps irritating us is your primary aim; if it is, that is pitiable.

Senexx

29/01/2011I think there are a couple of comments under this post that could be blog posts themselves. Talk Turkey's and Ad Astra's explanation of the changes are the first couple that spring to mind. I enjoyed the dissertation in the post but it was a little long for my current attention span. Then again I did just prepare three blog posts for the You Can't Stop the Signal (ozbrowncoats) blog and I'm a little frazzled. Hard to believe I want to prepare more. << All this of course is my real reason for posting. I just needed to debrief somewhere and somehow tie it in with the post above. I imagine I'll see most of you at <a href=http://dailywire.com.au>The Daily Wire</a> anyway.

Jason

29/01/2011Hi all I know it's not a poll that you can put much faith in but Ltd News and the TV/radio stations take them as gospel! Current Poll Results How do you feel about the $1.8billion flood levy? Worried about the personal cost 4% Upset because you have already given to charity 9% Concerned that the money will be wasted 35% Happy to pay 52% 2243 votes counted http://www.abc.net.au/polls/thedrum/vote/total.htm

Feral Skeleton

29/01/2011jj just gets stoked up on the Rightards blogs and then comes here to give us yet another predictable serve. If I were playing her at Tennis the score would be 6-0, 6-0, her moves are that predictable. Sadly, to my mind, and especially because I do believe jj is a female, she appears to have bought into the line of misogyny that Conservative female journalists and politicians are also running with against the Prime Minister. Of course the men are doing it too, and I don't know if that's worse or not than when other females do it, but what I do know is that when people who have never met Julia Gillard before in their lives, as I have, nor achieved 1/100th of what she has, from very humble beginnings, come along and bad mouth her for no GOOD reason, the way jj has here today, then I can only think of that great line by Xavier Herbert, 'Poor fellow my country'. Have we sunk so low, and to such depths, courtesy of the anonymity that the internet affords us, to forget our basic manners and respect for those people in public life who are just trying to do their best for the country? Sure, come here with valid criticism, outlined with facts and figures and coherant points, but to just put up a post which is unadulterated abuse of our Prime Minister, a woman, well that is truly reprehensible and more than a little pathetic. I defended you, jj, early in the New Year when I thought the others had come on a bit strong against you. Never again; as you have repaid that kindness with a showing here, today, of your true Regressive Conservative colours. That is, given a hand up, you spit on the Good Samaritan and laugh in their face as you kick dust over them, having pushed them to the ground after they helped you, because you could. I hope you feel happy with yourself in the salubrious surrounds of your 7/11 store in Tamworth.

Feral Skeleton

29/01/2011I also thought I'd just include this interesting piece of information I came across today relating to the wet dream of the Hard Men of the Libertarian/Conservative/Regressive Right, Ms Ayn Rand: http://m.boingboing.net/2011/01/28/ayn-rand-took-govern.html

Feral Skeleton

29/01/2011Senexx, HAPPY NEW YEAR & HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! Thank you for the invitation to your site, I will be sure to go there. Yes, we can be a little long-winded here, but that's us for you. :) I guess we could all take PatriciaWA's advice to Talk Turkey. She was a Headmistrss, you know! As they say, 'Brevity is the soul of wit'.

Jason

29/01/2011FS, I don't mind so much that jj comes on here and makes statements that as we all know are factually incorrect! But to have a shot at anyone about their appearance sounds rather desperate! I guess the only solace we have is tomorrow when we wake up Julia will still be PM and jj and it's ilk will still be bitter and twisted! jj marriage, husband, lazy spring to mind!!

Jason

29/01/2011Quoted by Trev on Crikey in response to “Opposing the flood levy is not a moral failing” by Bernard Keane’ “the timeless quest of conservatives everywhere – to find a higher justification for selfishness” (JK Galbraith). http://www.crikey.com.au/2011/01/28/sorry-but-opposing-the-flood-levy-is-not-a-moral-failing/ and part of Trev’s comment on people opposing the levy. The amount that (the more wealthy) taxpayer is being asked to kick in is miniscule so it seems to me that any backlash is a knee-jerk response more to do with ideology. But of course, I forget myself! We live in a market place rather than a society! Such good lines I thought it worth cross-posting for Swordians

Feral Skeleton

29/01/2011Thank you, Jason. :) You know, I get the impression that some people are opposing the flood levy more as a philosophical position that they have taken, as opposed to being upset about the amount of money that it will cost them. They should hang their heads in shame. The bit that confuses me is that as Tony Abbott constantly wears his BUYBELL on his sleave as some sort of talisman meant to confer him with magic powers that disguise the fact that he is such a mean, petty individual, why isn't he remembering the parable of 'The Good Samaritan' and putting it into effect for the people of Queensland, Northern NSW and Victoria?

Feral Skeleton

29/01/2011The other thing I can't understand is how anyone could want someone so obviously nasty and mean-spirited as Prime Minister of this country.

BSA Bob

29/01/2011Jason Like your Galbraith quote, a real good'un. I left you a message at 1pm today with a question about Steve Lewis. Do you know if I'm right about his question to Bush?

Jason

29/01/2011FS, Other than the usual suspects I would say no one wants him as PM! Abbott has known for a week that the government was likely to announce the "levy" and once the PM announced it did the opposition have in their hands to back up their opposition what they would do apart from the NBN? No I listened 5AA, 3AW, 4BC and each time I heard Sloppy he said WTTE we will have more to say (I assume where they would cut the fat) in the comming days! So they come out and say we oppose but offer nothing more than "there is fat in the budget" This is the actions of a leader who says he's ready to govern at a minutes notice! If you read through the speach he gave to the baby Libs the only theme it seems to follow is his personal attack of the PM! That's where the likes of jj get their ideas from. Abbott,jj and whoever can hurl all the abuse they like, policy is whats needed, and from where I sit the only bit of infrastructure or house One Trick Tony has his eye on is the lodge or Kirrabilli

Jason

29/01/2011BSA Bob Yes that is the same Steve Lewis who asked Bush jnr the Dorothy Dixer! He also came unstuck when Turnbull was leader as he had the front page of the Daily Telegraph with the fake emails on the "ute gate" saga which were fabricated probably by him! A man of his talents should probably be writing for the National Enquirer looking for Elvis or even those WMD's!

Jason

29/01/2011AA, As a Tweeter yourself now Possum Comitatus had this! Pollytics | 3 hours 41 minutes ago Tropical cyclone Anthony intensifying in the north, political cyclone Tony blowing hard in the south

Feral Skeleton

29/01/2011Jason, This is Phil Coorey's precis of the Abbott speech, with some nice dramatic accents added to make it seem like One Trick Tony is piling on the pressure on Julia Gillard: http://www.smh.com.au/national/integrity-of-independents-will-be-questioned-unless-they-dump-labor-says-abbott-20110128-1a8du.html However, on the other hand we have Michael Gordon's even-handed appraisal of the situation: http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/politics/all-bark-but-no-bite-20110128-1a8d4.html

NormanK

29/01/2011What seems to be being overlooked in the levy debate is the answer to the question "why not make more cuts now if you believe you have the capacity should the need arise at a later date?" Correct me if I'm wrong but the only explanation I've heard is Wayne Swann on the 7.30 Report muttering " that wouldn't be wise". As it happens, I agree with him. When I listened to the PM at the Press Club speak to this subject, my immediate reaction was "good, very sensible, keep a bit up your sleeve because odds are the cost of the rebuild is going to mount". Far better to get a modest levy up and running to guarantee a revenue stream, cut initiatives which have perhaps out-lived their usefulness, re-prioritise some things, postpone a bit of stuff but let all of the rest of the budget programmes go on for as long as possible - only cutting them as a last resort. There is a little bit of bet hedging there in the hope that maybe this year's bottom line will be a bit better than currently predicted. But it also means that those things which are next for the chop get to run for another six months or more before a re-evaluation needs to occur. Of course this is based on the assumption that pretty much everything which the government is trying to implement is important - a view I hold and Mr Abbott would have us believe he does not. I confess that I didn't expect this level of squealing (and even now it might only be MSM noise) but if Labor had waited until, say, April to announce a levy because the repair bill had blown out I would have thought the cries of anguish would be audible in New Zealand. It had to happen early, it needed to be modest and it needed to be well-targeted. All of which it is in my opinion. We'll have to see how this pans out but in this regard (the question of more cuts now) I suspect Labor have failed yet again to get the message out. They've allowed themselves to be distracted by questions of cuts to foreign aid (onya 'stralia!) and faith in implementation. One problem is that many people relate running the federal budget to running a household budget. Not the same thing at all. Look at how the problem has been compounded by misinterpretation of the Budget's Contingency Fund. Koch would have us believe it is the big tin on the kitchen shelf where we put all of the change from shopping in order to save it for a rainy day - Mary needs braces. On the same subject, Mitchell called his point of view (similar to Koch's) a difference of opinion when the PM tried to point out that it was a misunderstanding on his part. How arrogant was his reaction? He was the font of wisdom on the subject. Didn't he have the very wording right in front of him? Silly deceitful woman. The conclusion from that exchange is that Julia Gillard is a flagrant liar (as is Peter Costello for sharing the view) or Mitchell and Koch know more about the federal budget than Gillard and Swann. Perception wars where truth is not always the winner. I should also say that going into deficit would have been political suicide - we would have had three years of Sloppy Joe crowing "I told you so!" If they can deny the GFC, they can deny the big floods of 2011. Abbott already started downplaying their physical size in his speech to the Young Liberals. Excretory orifice.

Jason

29/01/2011FS, What do you think of this tatic when the parliament returns? launch a censure motion against Abbott on the very first day of proceedings, condemn him for blatant political opportunism, and get every QLD ALP member to stand up on the floor of parliament to rail against One Trick Tony for trying to deny their state vital funds for the reconstruction efforts.

Jason

29/01/2011NormanK, I agree with Swan a little bit on this one, which unhappy group will the media have on the TV every night? If as the opposition says there is a lot of fat that should be cut lets start with those who will scream the loudest! Lets start getting rid of negative gearing and getting rid of family trusts!

Rx

29/01/2011TalkTurkey, I appreciated your stirring homage to the English language. Yes, our language serves us well, but it serves some better than they deserve. The likes of Abbott, who dumbs down communication to a series of three-word, three-syllable slogans. He doesn't just demean his audience. He piles disrespect on all those speakers who came before him, who formed a LANGUAGE from ideas born in the human mind. A shame to their legacy is this simian wrecker, who debases language into GIBBERISH.

NormanK

29/01/2011Oops, I should have spelled out that the Contingency Fund is there to cover an unforeseen spike in farmer's claiming Drought Assistance or a flu epidemic giving Medicare a thumping. It is calculated on a percentage basis applied to those measures in the Budget which are demand-driven, Hockey & Robb wanted to get their grubby hands on it as part of their election "costings" and even Costello came out and said "not very smart". Treasury took a dim view of the proposition then and would certainly frown on it now. Jason Yep. Or as has been doing the rounds of the blogs, how about dropping the Private Medical Insurance Rebate (or at least means testing it) or means testing the baby bonus etc. Then we'd hear some squeals.

Jason

29/01/2011Normank, Agreed I forgot about them! Maybe Abbott and the opposition urgers should be careful of what they wish for? Particularly come the first of July when the senate changes! (now where is bob browns email?lol)

Miglo

30/01/2011Senexx, good to see you here, my friend. We must keep up with this networking and grow united. Ad Astra - great new look.

TalkTurkey

30/01/2011Rx said "A shame to their legacy is this simian wrecker, [Abbortt] who debases language into GIBBERISH." Simian . . . Gibberish . . . Would that be GIBBONISH then? (Brief enough Skelly?)

NormanK

30/01/2011Jason No doubt Ad astra and the Feral One have a drawer full of such "fat". Fat that currently resides around the middles of wealthy Australians who can well afford to pay their own way but prefer instead to minimise their tax bills and maximise their government subsidies. In a fit of pique, I would have loved to see one more level on the flood levy - 2% on everyone earning $500 000 or more. We could generate electricity using the rise in blood pressure.

Jason

30/01/2011Normank, I have no doubt the few we have mentioned tonight is only the tip of the ice berg (Costello)! but where One trick Tony said earlier "in a spirit of national unity the Coalition would sit down with the government to negotiate that $1.8 billion in extra savings" The only trouble is you can't believe a word he says and even if it's written down he still can't be trusted. As for this "Negotiate" who does he think he is? I know Alan Jones et al might tell him he's the prime minister! As far as I know the only negotiations that will be going on will be with those who matter!

Jason

30/01/2011''This is an issue of tragedy that we're talking about, tragic circumstances, and to try to use that as a skateboard to government of itself vindicates the choice we made [to support Labor],'' Mr Windsor said. http://www.theage.com.au/national/independent-lashes-abbott-on-flood-levy-20110129-1a93g.html

TalkTurkey

30/01/2011It's 2.05 AM and I'm watching ABC 24 and it's the aftermath of the election filmed as it happened, starring Katter, Oakeshott, Windsor, Gillard and Abbortt, and, Oh Man! It's bloody RIVETING! Seeing it all over again! THAT's what I wanted to immortalise in that Lass at Yarralumla verse! The story is right up to Day 17 early in the day as I write. Abbortt's just been sprung for $11 billion costings lies. Now O & W sitting on couch, deciding the fate of this nation! This is such a drama! They're talking it over . . . PM's staffer turns up with final costings! It's moving so fast! 9.17 AM They shake! Katter comes in! Moments later Katter leaves! Katter calls solo press conference, this is in real time now. No pix for live TV then but we can view this for the first time now! Ohhh gee Swordsfolk they're about to announce their decision, this is our very homeland on the spiderwebthin line WTF?! WTF???? They've cut it short right there! WHAT???!!!! Do you get what I just said? Was any other Swordsperson watching? Talk to me! WHAT HAPPENED THEN? Oh-oh, That last 3 words has an inadvertent double meaning, sure I want to know what happened then in the sense of the history,- I never got to hear W & O make their announcements!but what I meant was, Did the ABC just cut that short or what? There I was passing on the action as it was happening, and suddenly there was some woman I never saw before talking about something completely other. BOOOOO!!!

Gravel

30/01/2011AC I really enjoyed your piece, and from all the wonderful responses it seems I wasn't alone. Looking forward to more in the future. AD Astra I love the new format, especially the larger font. For those who are having trouble with the width, I just use the bottom scroll bar and have the writing centered in the middle.

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011How's this for fat that can be found after July 1st, when the Senate changes complexion, thank goodness! There are $3 Billion worth of government money-saving intiatives being held up in the Senate, mainly from the Rudd era. Means Testing the Private Health Insurance Rebate is but one of them. Also, you can be guaranteed of the fact that if Wayne Swan and Treasury came up with so many savings in the short period of time after the floods, they will be running the fine tooth comb over the books in the lead-up to the May Budget, and with the new Senate in mind, to maybe give us all our most fervent wish and take the hacksaw to the fat around the Middle Class Welfare. Now, I ave just had to endure Andrew Bolt on the Weekend Today show, putting the Murdochistan line on the flood levy etc. So, firstly, he insulted the Independants in the Lower House by calling them a "gaggle". Sorry, AB, you're the only goose around atm(Gee, you'd think an immigrant from Holland might get Global Warming and sea level rising, but I digress). Then, as is de rigeur with the Regressive view of taxation, he said that(and, oh it must get the Regressives where it hurts the most...) after the Senate changes on July 1st, if Julia Gillard hasn't got her 'New Tax'(funny how it's a Tax when it's Labor but a 'Levy' when it's Jug Ears Paid Parental Leave Bonus for the Wealthy?) through the old Senate with Steve Fielding and "The Pokies Guy"(AB's descriptor & yet another example of how he never lets an opportunity to push his agenda pass him by), Nick Xenophon, then "There isn't a tax the Greens have never liked the look of", it will therefore probably pass then. I tell you, I always thought Bolt Head was an English migrant, but now I know he's a Boor (Lol), it all becomes clear. The Dutch are renowned as being tighter than a duck's bum with their money, and the ones I have known throughout my life have backed that up to the hilt, so they naturally have gravitated to the political party which advocates keeping as much of your hard-earned for yourself and bugger the bludgers. Same goes for Piers Akerman. Not a generous bone in their bodies. What sin did Australia commit to deserve them? :)

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011Absolutely delicious artricle from The Sunday Age, thank you, 'Eagle Eyes' Jason. :) Tony Windsor gave it to Abbott with both barrels: 'Tony Abbott is not one of my consultants in better government.' Then, to follow that interview with Windsor up with the comments of 'Two Tax Experts': Two tax experts told The Sunday Age yesterday the proposed flood levy was better structured than previous levies introduced by the Howard government. TaxWatch convenor Julian Disney said it would be fairer to use the budget to pay for infrastructure repairs, but the proposed levy was modest and structured fairly. He rejected Mr Abbott's claim that a new tax was ''the opposite of mateship''. ''That is a remarkably inappropriate statement … a dreadful political philosophy,'' Professor Disney said. Grattan Institute economist Saul Eslake said the ''progressive'' scale meant the cost of the recovery would be spread fairly across income brackets. Claims that the levy would hurt economic growth by discouraging retail spending were ''laughable'', he said. ''The $1.8 billion, it sounds like a lot of money to take out of the economy. But in an economy of $1.5 trillion, it represents a bit over 0.1 per cent of GDP.'' Yup, that's TOE-Knee all right, 'laughable'.

2353

30/01/2011Morning all, My bet is that Gillard and Swan will be making those extra cuts. Cyclone Anthony is scheduled for tonight - with between 100 to 400mm of rain around the Townsville region. Then the cyclone will move inland and form a rain depression. What's the bet that somewhere in Queensland will be flooding by the middle of the week? Then, there is this low near Vanuatu . . . Two possible good things from all of this. First it will show Abbott at his shallow and miserly best, second it will give more ammunition to the Queensland ALP MPs (and Bob Katter - a lot of North Queensland is his electorate) to bash Abbott over the head with his lack of concern. Hang in there NormanK - cyclones are not pleasant.

Feral Skeleton

30/01/20112353, Political Cyclone Tony will not take a backward step, you can be guaranteed of that. Especially with The Australian backing him to the hilt, plus assorted other media toadies. No, we have to rely on the innate good sense of the Australian people to connect the dots around what Abbott is saying to what it means on the ground in real time and up close and personal as it affects them. Hopefully, as you say, Big Bob Katter will come out swinging against Abbott not wanting to levy his rich mates 'Down South' to pay for the expected devastation of his electorate. Anyway, Katter has already said he supports the Flood Levy if it goes hand-in-glove with a new scheme or Disaster Insurance, a proposal with which I agree, quite frankly. If we are to have an increasing frequency of these weather events, cortesy of Global Warming, and if the Insurance Industry just keep jacking up premiums as a result, then we are going to need something like that as national economic insurance, so to speak. I'd much rather my taxes go to pay for that than One Trick's 'Mortgage Subsidy Scheme', er, 'Paid Parental Leave Scheme'.

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011Senexx, Just a quick note to say that your link above to 'The Daily Wire' is broken in the sense that it has too much code at the end of it and so doesn't work. I got there by just putting your website name in the Address Bar. I thouroughly recommend all go and take a look. It's not a blog like ours, but more of a newsgroup and forum to discuss daily issues plus user-generated blogs. Ad Astra, maybe you could add 'The Daily Wire' to our 'Sites of Interest'/Blogroll, which seems to have disappeared from the side bar. :)

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011Ad Astra, I would really appreciate those quick links to other blogs because for some unknown reason, if I put Grogs Gamut into my address bar my computer can never find his server, yet I could always access the site directly from here.

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011NormanK, Hope you are OK today. :) Hang in there, or hang onto a pole!

Ad astra reply

30/01/2011FS If you wish to access one of the many political blog sites in this country, [i]Australian Blog Sites[/i] has comprehensive list, all linked. [i]Grog's Gamut[/i] comes up as soon as clicked. You will find [i]Australian Blog Sites[/i] in the text at the top of LYN'S DAILY LINKS. The address is: http://australianblogsites.com/ Lyn is gearing up to resume her links on Tuesday.

Senexx

30/01/2011Miglo, Dear Friend, I drop by here from time to time. The time and effort put into what all bloggers do, what you do in putting Australian blogsites together and what JJ is doing with the Daily Wire is all much appreciated (plus the effort you and others are putting in behind the scenes). Kind regards, Senexx Feral Skeleton, Yes I was taken by surprise when HTML code did not work on this blog. http://dailywire.com.au is more a traditional internet forum at present but has larger goals in mind. regards, Senexx

NormanK

30/01/2011Morning. the most disconcerting aspect of waiting for a cyclone is that everything seems so normal. A bit like waiting for floodwaters coming down the river as a result of rain hundreds of kilometres upstream. Relatively calm air, intermittent blue sky, the birds are chirping and the temperature is pleasant for a summer's day in these parts. It is of course the calm before the storm but it is still a bit spooky when you consider how things will be this afternoon. Does anyone know whether Tony Abbott spins clockwise or counter-clockwise? He might act as a foil to Cyclone Anthony. He wouldn't mind putting his neck on the line for the national good, would he? It would save a few dollars in disaster relief and after all we are his "mates". TT You were watching a Four Corners documentary in which an ABC journalist was allowed to follow the three amigos around for the fateful 17 days to document their decision-making process. It went to air soon after the events and would have been considered current affairs rather than an historical documentary hence the abrupt ending where it would have been stating the obvious at the time if they had included the final press conference.

janice

30/01/2011When I came in here this morning I thought I'd entered the wrong house LOL. Ad astra, I love the new look and especially appreciate the larger font and the 'clean' lines of the format which is easy on my eyes. It has taken me all morning reading a) the excellent piece by Ascerbic and b) the comments in appreciation of AC's piece and the extensions to it by our other Swordian Satirical Poets. It has been a matter of to and froing because of my demanding birds yelling for attention. Having raised the peewee chicks, it didn't end up all that good because three out of four of them had a genetic disorder in the form of a type of hip dysplasia and sadly had to be euthanaised. The remaining bird is flying free and learning to find his own food which means I am constantly out there helping it by disturbing the garden undergrowth while it catches the insects. A couple of weeks ago, (courtesy of Wildlife Aid) an Eastern Rosella came into my care. This little bird was, in my opinion, rescued needlessly as it had obviously been very recently fed by its parent, was able to fly but still on training wheels when it comes to eating seeds/fruits etc. I dislike birds confined to a cage so as soon as the little Rosella was eating seed and weaned off the porridge mixture especially formulated for wild parrots, I let it go. It went off for some six hours but around about 6.30 pm it returned home and called frantically from a tree near the verandah. As soon as I appeared it landed on my shoulder and was happy to spend the night in the cage where there was a variety of seed, seeded grasses on tap. Today, it is a happy little bird exploring my large garden and I have supplied a hanging bird feeder/water dispenser for its use until it decides to join a wild flock or hang around. Talk Turkey, It was just a thought re the collecting and collating of contributions from Swordian Poets. Bookform? How about E-book form? My editing abilities would leave much to be desired I think :) I agree your "The Lass at Yarralumla" is quite brilliant and deserves much kudos. Isn't it funny how MSM seem to have a licence to offend anyone and everyone yet their victims are merely given the option to grin and bear it. Patricia, Thank you for offering to send me your collated collection which I will absolutely love to receive. I will contact you via Miglo asap.

TalkTurkey

30/01/2011Hey! Hey! NormanK! Hope you don't get blown away! NK said (and thanks for the info) (That ABC programme) "would have been considered current affairs rather than an historical documentary hence the abrupt ending where it would have been stating the obvious at the time if they had included the final press conference." Yes abrupt is the word! (ab- away from, -rupt broken!) It just stopped! Like coitus interruptus! Quel anticlimax! I think we are incredibly lucky that as independents we have the people we do. At the distance from the election to now, it looks very different from how we experienced the drama blow-by-blow at the time. Clearer. Katter disappointed me, I had hoped he would rise, but he came over as a petty and silly and petulant bloke, (and it isn't just because justly or not he has the world's worst inbuilt sneer. Musta been a cyclonic wind shift the day he pulled that face!)Abbortt looked sleazier by the moment, slithering out of conferences, uh-a-ughing and losing it when confronted with a question as to whether the Coalition had deliberately tried to conceal the $11b black hole in their costings. But Julia Gillard had the good sense to stay cool and low-key, you wouldn't want to stake the family jewels on beating her at Chess, she was so quietly methodical and sensible and that is the only reason we have a Labor government today. That, and the good sense of Rob Oakeshott and Tony Windsor. Thank Dog for the way they behaved. These two blokes started out as Queensland Nats, and then they outgrew and shed that horrible skin and grew into very sober and responsible and eminently sensible proper men. Andrew Wilkie from Tassie's pretty sensible and decent too but it was those two who found themselves on the brink and voted to pull back. Wilkie's good actually. Principled and courageous and not as self-seeking as some will try to portray him. And Adam Bandt of the Greens is at least no mug. That doco is one of the most gripping dramas I've ever seen. We were there! Just shame the ABC didn't smoothe off the end.

BSA Bob

30/01/2011Strong beverage to hand & antacids in the cupboard, I've just been looking at a site I presume most have heard of called Menzies House (can't provide a link as I'm new to this computer stuff, but you can Google it.) In a piece called "Australia's Attention Deficit Disorder", if I read correctly, the writer lumps the deficits from three separate financial years together to produce a hideous total which he then goes on to claim as the actual deficit Labor has lumbered us with. The perpetrator of this is credited with being their economics editor, God help us all. The site claims it's not affliated with any political party, so I don't know who it's named after.Some bastard called Menzies I suppose.

Patricia WA

30/01/2011[quote]If they can deny the GFC, they can deny the big floods of 2011. Abbott already started downplaying their physical size in his speech to the Young Liberals. Excretory orifice.[/quote] Norman K - GFC? No way would Tony Abbott(EO) down-play the problems experienced by the Geelong Football Club from those floods in 2007.

Jason

30/01/2011BSA Bob, In the interest of your on going good health may I suggest you stay away from "Menzies House" Despite what it says many a coalition member writes there as well as the happy clappers, and facts are used sparingly if at all! It's just the usual hypocrisy that right carry on with.

BSA Bob

30/01/2011Jason I shall take your advice. I ended up not requiring the antacids, but another drink is essential on this hot day.

Jason

30/01/2011BSA Bob, In short "Menzies House" is where the future Bolts and Akerman's learn their craft! Yes have another drink it's 40.3 under my pagola at the moment here in Pooraka!

NormanK

30/01/2011BSA Bob Does your mother know that you're hanging around dingy dives like Menzies House? Not recommended for your overall mental well-being - you will spend inordinate amounts of time trying to make sense of arguments as ethereal as smoke. If you want to provide a link as part of a post, look at the top part of your browser - there is an address bar which tells you what site you are currently visiting. It will look something like [b]http://www.somethingsomethingsomething.com/whatever[/b] Copy this by running your cursor over the entire text to highlight it, right click and choose copy OR choose copy from the "edit" menu at the top of your browser OR use the Control and C buttons (pressed simultaneously) on your keyboard. This copies the information to a virtual clipboard so that when you write your comment you can later "paste" it into your post. You paste from your clipboard by using a right click, select paste OR under the "edit" menu select paste OR use Control V on your keyboard. It will look ordinary in the comments box i.e. not underlined but if you click preview it should appear underlined which means you have been successful. Helpful as background might be this tutorial : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c66pvfilotA If you're on a Mac, Control is the key with the Apple logo on it. All of these principles apply also to copying text from another source and including it in your post. More power to ya.

TalkTurkey

30/01/2011Janice, This one was with my dear friend Jonet in mind, but I'll send it for you to identify with. I do empathise! One Tiny Bird One tiny helpless orphan fledgling Dove – It seems absurd That we ourselves should feel such helpless love for one small bird. And such a bird! The colour of a lump of Leigh Creek coal, Tumbled from his nest, and lying low in Bunsen’s hole.* *[Bunsen was my Dog. Wol was my African Owl. Rainbow was my broken-winged Rainbow Lorikeet that I shared my life with for 26 years.] Not like Wol, a white bird, nor like Rainbow, brightly plumed, But so appealing – Hungry, cold and weak; Shedding brownish baby down, and very badly groomed, With a size 1 neck, and extra-O.S. beak. Feisty, you called him – Indeed, he was game In face of his alien environs; He would raise his wings bravely when new dangers came – His whole being said, I can fight Lions! His species, you know, is as common as muck: A Senegal Turtledove – a pest, not a pet – A plaguebird – a rat-bird – and who gives a feral A helping hand, when its small life is in peril ? – No-one but you, Jonet. (And me of course, ’cos then of course, You got me sucked in too, of course!) Love is a boomerang, so I’m told – I’m sure, in ways, that’s true – And surely, sometimes, boomerangs, returning, can hurt you. You warmed him at your bosom, on your very naked skin, And somehow little Feisty burrowed deeper still within. The spirit that moves pity, mercy, charity – That’s Love, Whether for fellow Human, or a feral Turtle-Dove; And You were never so lovable as when you rang, and cried, And said between your broken-hearted sobs that he had died. You cared for Feisty for himself, his life and liberty, For the purest love of all says, You are yours – and you are free . . . Not anticipating thanks, nor even feedback for your pains, Taking comfort for the memory, when nothing else remains. In the end it was all too hard – He’ll not spread earthly wings; He would have loved the thrill of earthly air; Doves do try to fly to the sky – they strive for higher things – But Feisty found a short cut skywards – he’s already there. ........................................................................................................................ .............................................................................................................................. [The last verse has been excised due to its being considered too soppy for public exposure.]

Acerbic Conehead 2

30/01/2011The ship is still lodged upon the jagged rocks and TOE-KNEE is becoming more and more a pitiful exhibit of humanity gone wrong. Whilst the crew and convicts have returned and are busily trying to repair and refloat their stricken ship so that they can sail off to freedom, TOE-KNEE cuts a forlorn figure bellowing a song into his empty baked beans tin. No-one is listening to him as he does a very ordinary rendition of “Advance Australia Fair”, eulogising his bizarre and, some would say sociopathic, take on mateship. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsAtOWLGeic&feature=fvst :- ( Australians all like me rejoice For we are so pally You’ll be welcomed with open arms ‘Cept if you come by sea Our band abounds in lurks and perks We loved our levy rates But Gillard’s new tax does nothing to Advance Australian mates! To stop the tax then let us sing "Advance Australian mates!" :- ( To confuse mateship with mates’ rates Might seem a slight paradox But with a free run from the MSM I couldn’t give a pox I can Rabbott on day and night About all my pet hates The common good does nothing to Advance Australian mates! To make me king then let us sing "Advance Australian mates!"

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011I picked up a baby Kookaburra once who was sitting by the side of the road trying to figure out what you do once you leave the nest, so I stopped the car, before he waddled out onto the road and ended up under another car, and placed him inside a cardigan I had with me and took him home. I then phoned Wires(which is NSW's Wildlife Rescue service) and took him over to a carer that afternoon because she said he had probably been turfed out of the nest and wouldn't be allowed back in. As is the wont of our Wildlife rescuers, they have a policy of ringing you back when the bird has recovered enough to go back into the wild, so that they may be returned to their home turf/territory. So I came to pick him up and brought him home. He could fly now, and proceeded to fly away to his area, wherever that was. However, he seemed to appreciate what I had done for him and he used to come back to visit and come into the bushes on the edge of my veranda. So, being a softie, I started giving him meat to eat. He became so used to me that one day he magically alighted directly onto my foot, as I was reading a book on the veranda! By this time I had given him a name, Kevin, as it was in the run-up to the 2007 election that he came into my life. He stayed until after Kevin Rudd had won the 2007 election. Then he came back a couple more times to show me his wife. Then he never came back again for any food, preferring I guess to rely on his wits for food, like an adult Kookaburra. The family now lives high up in an Angophora in my backyard, in a holey knot in the tree. Their beautiful singing wakes us up every day. :)

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011Another good reason why we need to keep going with the NBN: http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2011/01/28/3124289.htm

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011AcerbicC., Next time I have to sing the National Anthem I'll try and get away with inserting those two verses instead of the normal ones. They are so pithy(which conjures up in my mind an image of Toe-Knee in his Pith Helmet being given the royal run-around by his crew and the natives). :)

BSA Bob

30/01/2011NormanK Thanks for the advice on providing links. As for my moral transgressions, I have confessed all to the Mater, & have been forgiven this once on condition I promise never EVER to do it again.

Jason

30/01/2011FS, Julia just spent about 15 minutes in the channel 9 commentary box with Mark Nicholas! She differentiated between people getting their lives together and her job of restoring infrastructure.And is about to go into the ABC box no doubt to do the same!

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011Jason, 'Our' Julia is a smart gel. :) I wonder if she'll be at the Tennis tonight? Also, IMHO, her other half is no slouch in the PR Wars, either. It was Tim Mathieson's timely intervention, with an op ed piece in the paper, that took a lot of the hot air out of the 'Wooden Julia' debate. His words certainly embarassed a few people who had been mouthing off, I reckon.

TalkTurkey

30/01/2011Janice said It was just a thought re the collecting and collating of contributions from Swordian Poets. Bookform? How about E-book form? My editing abilities would leave much to be desired I think TT replying: Nusss-sssing! I know Nusss-ssing about e-books, but well yes, if You do, expandez-vous! I happen to think that you must know more than most of us about publishing, and probably editing too. It's not a perfect science, it has plenty of room for originality, all you need is love and nous really. (Says he!) I think your story-telling is really crisp, definitely no pun intended. That ability is precisely what is needed to introduce and interlink and focus the various contributions. Have you a mental picture of how the suggested collection might work? And look Janice, you gotta know, I wouldn't want to put nothing on you you didn't feel joy in the doing of, it goes without saying. And I'd still like you to end up with a little Brucie Bilby book, but he don't know the way . . . On my TV there's Joan Baez, young, drop-dead gorgeous, vibrant, hopeful, back in 196?, Ohhh, bring it back! I got a doozy of a ReCAPTCHA pair of words this time,wonder if it'll work? - But overall AA it works better all the time, as you and the Lad keep honing it, more power to the 5th Estate! Jason, "Eagle Eyes" you are. Great spotting. Come back Lyn!

Jason

30/01/2011FS, The good thing is the "commentators" are very respectful no shouting over her, asked what the government was doing let her finish a sentence one trick got no mention, she also said the government will match dollar for dollar what ever the cricket raises today,as she was leaving thankyou prime minister etc, unlike the usual treatment she gets!

jj

30/01/2011Hello all, I am sorry Jason that i made a comment about our Prime Ministers looks on Sunrise, but i only said it because i know she can look a lot better than what she did. However i am not sorry about what i said about her style and substance. Gillard has a past that backs up what i have said about her political judgment: Mark Latham, Medicare Gold, Kevin Rudd, dumping the ETS, the Citizens Assembly, Cash For Clunkers etc. Goolia has a history of poor judgment when it comes to policy, and she helps me make my case by, herself axing programs she took to the last election, and then resurrecting policy ideas that she specifically ruled out. Her style is terrible outside the walls of parliament house; her speeches are repeated in the same monotonous drone every time, with the only thing keeping people awake being the horrific thought of one of her arms flying off and hitting someone in the audience as she gives her vicious robotic hand gestures. When interviewed it takes the journalist on average three times a question to either try and answer it, or when that has become impossible, to shut her up. AA, To you Julia's pedigree Labor background may be the ultimate indicator of our PM's worth but to others it is just a hypocritical stance that you vilify the so called, 'elitists' with. I dont care, as most other Australians dont, whether she had a tough background, whether her mother and farther had to work three jobs or not; all i care about is whether she does a good job as our nations Representative! And so far she has done nothing to impress not just me, just as she has failed to do for over half of the nation (according to opinion polls). You stick by any Labor leader whether they are good for the country or not. You are stuck in a small box with the brand Labor on it that prevents you from being able to think for yourself. I myself have not voted Liberal or National all my life; i dont particularly like Tony Abbott but i prefer his team and him to Julia. TT, personal opinion does not have to quote facts or figures; you should know.

janice

30/01/2011Talk Turkey, Thanks for introducing me to Feisty. I've got a long string of 'Feisty' stories in my memory bank that caused heartbreak but many more I can remember with pleasure and delight. And, talking about pest birds, I once picked up a fledgling sparrow that I didn't have the heart to leave to its fate and raised it. I housed it in a budgie cage and when people asked me what it was I would tell them it was a Passer Domesticus! The Lord Dog only knows how many millions of house sparrows came from that one little pest. FS, I was presented with a baby kookaburra about 20 years or so ago. It was the ugliest little bird imaginable all covered in spikey feather sheaths. As is my want, I fed him a diet of minced meat mixed with egg yolk plus a variety of insects, small lizards and mice. He flourished and spent a good deal of his time perched on my shoulder as I went about my farm duties. Once he had learned to fly he used to try to gain entrance to the family who ruled his territory and was belted up and chased away time and time again. Persistence won in the end though and it was only then that I realised 'he' was a 'she'. Kookie B Burra always caused much amusement in the dairy shed at milking times when she learning to laugh and talk her kookaburra language. Season after season, Kookie B Burra, brought her old man and kids home for inspection and handouts. They'd all line up on the fence rails a few meters away from a large stump in the garden upon which I put strips of meat. Herself would sit on the stump and supervise the laying out of the feast and take her pieces from my hand. When I stepped away, the others would visit the stump one by one and take a piece of meat back to the fence rail. All very orderly but for me, an unforgettable pleasant experience.

TalkTurkey

30/01/2011RECOGNITION ! jj said "TT, personal opinion does not have to quote facts or figures; you should know." Only problem I haven't the slightest idea WTF she's on about. Anybody else, please explain?

Jason

30/01/2011jj, Argue the case by all means but her appearance? ever since Nicki Savva started on it everyone else has got in on the act! As for poor judgment this Levey you think is wrong I'm up for $250 for the year? no doubt you can hide behind a family trust or some other thing to avoid it! the sad fact of life for you is and I'm not sure if you have noticed, but with Abbott's every utterance he drives further away those he needs to make him PM as your man said today ''This is an issue of tragedy that we're talking about, tragic circumstances, and to try to use that as a skateboard to government of itself vindicates the choice we made [to support Labor],'' Mr Windsor said. Yet you argue everyone else has poor political judgment!

Ad astra reply

30/01/2011jj You are wrong on all counts. No, to me ‘Julia's pedigree Labor background’ is not ‘the ultimate indicator of our PM's worth’. No, I don’t ‘stick by any Labor leader whether they are good for the country or not.’ No, I’m not ‘stuck in a small box with the brand Labor on it’ that prevents me from being able to think for myself. To suggest that I am unable to think for myself is the worst insult of all. What counts for me in judging the PM is her political attitude, her caring nature, her sense of fairness, and her competence. She scores highly on all four with me. Try not to analyse my attitude or my motives. You can’t possibly know me and so your analysis is likely to be wrong.

Jason

30/01/2011jj, you win. I acknowledge there is no point in engaging in intellectual combat with unarmed people!

jj

30/01/2011Jason, Julia Gillard can rely on the support of my local member for as long as she wants. He is a vindictive, no-it-all, idiot for all i care, and for what most of the New England electorate cares. He will look for any means to justify him supporting the side of politics that lives and breathes metropolitan Australia. he was never to support the Coalition, and as he wont be contesting the next election, the last election gave him the perfect chance to give his final stab to the Nationals. Tony Abbott shouldnt deal with the old nutter, he, as the rest of us know that it is the Australian people that decide who will form government next. AA, WHAT IS SO COMPETENT ABOUT GILLARD!?!?!? She has a train wreckage of a political past that shows she has the political ability of duck weed. She axed Crean and helped put in Mark latham, for god sake! She was the one with Swan who egged on Krudd to dump the ETS, for crying out loud! She was the shadow who came up with the ridiculed Medicare Gold idea! She helped dump Beazley who would have won the 2007 election for the ego-centric, crazyman Krudd! She announces a citizens assembly and Cash for Clunkers just before the election as the entirety of her climate policy and the dumps them a few months after she gains government! The one policy she gave a big NO! to was a carbon price in her next term, and then after some CEO says it is a good idea she decides that she IS going to implement a carbon price; and by the end of the year! If you believe Gillard is competent, then how about you go splash some cold water on your face, i am sure it just must be the summer heat.

Jason

30/01/2011jj, Reading your last post I couldn't help myself! As I think I found a song that sums it up enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVW6vj-av6U

janice

30/01/2011Talk Turkey, [quote]Nusss-sssing! I know Nusss-ssing about e-books, but well yes, if You do, expandez-vous! I happen to think that you must know more than most of us about publishing, and probably editing too. It's not a perfect science, it has plenty of room for originality, all you need is love and nous really. (Says he!) I think your story-telling is really crisp, definitely no pun intended. That ability is precisely what is needed to introduce and interlink and focus the various contributions. Have you a mental picture of how the suggested collection might work? And look Janice, you gotta know, I wouldn't want to put nothing on you you didn't feel joy in the doing of, it goes without saying. And I'd still like you to end up with a little Brucie Bilby book, but he don't know the way . . . [/quote] If you know nussing, I can assure you I probably know even less :) I'd love a little Brucie Bilby book - Ad astra will show him the way if you ask him nicely to give you my email addy.

kerry

30/01/2011Since entering federal politics in 2001, Tony Windsor has received over 70% of the vote in New England at each election. Looks like a very healthy majority of this electorate cares about him and what he has to offer. I'm very glad he's outed the disgraceful opportunism of Abbott, a poisonous, arrogant little boy. He should have been upbraided by the media for his ungracious petulance towards Gillard after he lost his bid for pm. Because he wasn't he thought he could ride rough-shod over Labor at every turn. He's gone too far this time.

Acerbic Conehead 2

30/01/2011jj, I’m afraid lists of names and phrases just won’t cut the mustard. “Mark Latham...Kevin Rudd” What exactly are you trying to say? Can you be specific? What is it about them vis a vis Julia Gillard that you don’t approve of? If you don’t spit it out, you are just on some specious ‘guilt by association’ trip. “Medicare Gold” Why do trolls like you continually bring up this historical relic? Oh, I know – it’s the ‘Medicare’ bit, isn’t it? It’s a subliminal message thing, a bit of a dog whistle – if we say enough times Medicare Gold was a dud, well, Medicare per se must be a crock... “Dumping the ETS” Julia Gillard didn’t dump the ETS. It was rejected in the Senate. How can she dump something that wasn’t going to have a future under the current Senate numbers? And anyway, didn’t your hero, John Howard, support an ETS? Turnbull? Hunt? If anyone “dumped the ETS”, it was your poster boy, Tones. “the Citizens Assembly...Cash for Clunkers...” I don’t see these as history-making interventions like the Marshall Plan or the Snowy Mountains Scheme. And nor were they intended to be. I see them as attempts to keep environmental issues on the agenda during a time when efforts at enacting real change are being stymied by an obstructionist approach in the Upper House. After mid-year it should be a different ball-game and I think this prospect is making dinosaurs like you shit your pants. “Axing programs she took to the last election...resurrecting policy...” Hallo!!! Since the last election there has been the catastrophe of the floods in Queensland and other parts of Australia!! But then, for phonies such as you, events like the Queensland floods never happened, or at worst, were on a par with getting up in the morning to discover there’s no milk for your cereal. It’s all about politics to you and your sort. No acknowledgement of reality – no humanity. And you have the gall to call the PM a robot! Hypocrit! “Her style is terrible outside the walls of Parliament House” So, her style inside Parliament is good? There’s hope for you yet. “Monotonous drone” Red herring. Try and LISTEN to what she is saying – you might learn something. “One of her arms flying off” Hyperbole. Again, try to listen to what she is saying. You obviously have a very short attention span, but, hey, no-one’s perfect. And, while we’re on the subject of disappearing limbs, how many people literally got their arms blown off in the Iraq War which your heroes Bush, Howard, and Abbott instigated? “[a journalist needs to ask a question on average] three times” It might appear to your prejudiced stance that the PM isn’t answering a question the way you would like her to. Again, maybe listen a bit closer and you might find she has to debunk some erroneous assumptions build into a ‘question’ from one of the many right-wing, so-called journalists in this country, and she needs to cut through their dross before she can effectively begin to answer. “[it] has become impossible to shut her up” Again, this is another of your Freudian slips that reveal your true agenda. You want “to shut her up”! Beneath that thin veneer of putative objective criticism, there lies a darkness – we rule...you obey... Democracy doesn’t work that way.

Jason

30/01/2011AA, Over at the Poll Bludger was this! Ian Posted Sunday, January 30, 2011 at 6:45 pm | Permalink Given that the assault on the Govt. is coming from Murdoch the only realistic way he can be beaten is to turn his propaganda back on him. That takes money. That his ground and where he is vulnerable….some of his shareholders are beginning to get nervous. FWIW….I reckon that anybody who votes Labor/Greens could look at committing $20pm to a fight Murdoch lies fund. Engage a top notch media advisor and blitz prime time commercial television with factual, emotive refutations of the spin and lies that his organisation puts out. Sort of like an in your face sixty second media watch five times a night in prime time on commercial channels. Force the Murdoch organisation to be be ethical and truthful. We’ve all seen what the mining lobby did. Surely it can’t be beyond concerned and worried Australian citizens to do the same? I nominate Bushfire Bill, Ad Astra and Mr Denmore to administer the fund. BK Posted Sunday, January 30, 2011 at 6:52 pm | Permalink I nominate Bushfire Bill, Ad Astra and Mr Denmore to administer the fund. Good choices Ian, but I would add Grog.

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011As my old mum used to say, "You just can't reason with some people". It's interesting isn't it, how Coalition supporters believe that Abbott can 'skateboard' into office by being the 'Anti-Julia'? No credible policies, that aren't warmed over Howard-era guff, and merely an ability to stir enmity. That's it! Well, I guess when you only have to convince the easily-led, like jj, it's not that hard to think you've got more than an even chance. jj, you list all of the supposed failures of Julia Gillard, but without a second thought you leave unsaid the litany of political mistakes that Tony Abbott has made, many of which bely an individual who is sneaky and underhanded, not to mention mean and nasty and an admitted liar. What does that say about the sort of Australia you want this man to craft in his image? Don't forget what Howard said, "You change the government, you change the country."

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011AcerbicC., I love it when you 'demolish' the facile Coalition spin of jj. :)

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011kerry, I was going to make the point about Tony Windsor's vote myself. Also, as he is retiring I can see that the Nationals' supporters, such as jj, are salivating like rabid dogs at the prospect of 'reclaiming' his seat at the next election.

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011Jason, I, too have been giving Poll Bludger a read as I sat around too hot to do much else(it was a massive 32 today! Actually, the really hot weather is on its way from SA). I appreciated this comment: castle sun@6.17pm: Abbott is the biggest whinger of the lot. Since he suffered a drop in salary from a minister pay to backbencher in 2007 it was non stop complaining about how he could not manage on $120,00 a year. Then he whinged about labor delaying tax cuts for high income earners, ie him. Then he whinged about the $900 stimulus payment to lower income earners, ie not him. Now he is whinging about the levy because those under $50,000 pay nothing and those under $100,000 pay only 1/2 a percent, whilst over $100,000 pay 1 percent. All about how much Tone does or doesn’t get.' :)

jj

30/01/2011Acerbic Conehead 2, You are worse than AA. It is always the fault of either Murdoch or the Coalition, never can it be that the Labor party makes a mistake! Gillard could have gone to a DD on an ETS if she really believed in it, but as i said she used her special political intellect and advised Krudd to dump it. Gillard didnt have to take the policies of cash for clunkers and the citizens assembly to the election instead of a carbon price but she did; because she is gutless. The decision of Gillard to axe Crean and support Mark Latham for PM was one of the most stupid political mistakes the Labor Party (spear headed by Gillard) made. Latham turned out to be a very weird man, with plenty of wacky policies that would have damaged Australia's reputation. Stop making excuses, and just accept that Gillard is error prone, and that those errors have been of her own making and no one elses!

kerry

30/01/2011FS, Where'd you get the notion that Tony Windsor will retire? PS. Don't forget Abbott is probably still paying for his dirty hatchet job on Pauline Hanson (no, no fan of hers, but she didn't deserve jail time) - see http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/08/22/1061529330032.html AC, Wish I could demolish someone like that. Been too angry to think clearly over the past couple of days.

2353

30/01/2011So JJ is from Tamworth, obviously supports the Nats, hates Tony Windsor and can't stand that Windsor preferred Gillard to Abbott. Here's some news JJ, the majority of your electorate prefers Windsor - and if you had ever bothered to watch the 4Corners doco about the Independents choosing which side they would support, you would see what a complete nong Abbott was during the process. On top of that, whatever you and your fellow Nats did to Tony Windsor to make him leave the party shows what sort of nongs you clowns are as well. Gillard as Prime Minster is in part your fault - you reap what you sow. Windsor's shoelaces are obviously better politicians that the Nats around Tamworth as he has kept his seat in Canberra despite not having a major party behind him (and I'm sure the Nats would have been especially spiteful and vindictive). Enjoy the next 18 months or so far as Windsor said on the news last night in response to the statement that he should withdraw support from Gillard - "Who's Tony Abbott think he's kidding here". It's going to be wonderful to see you continue to foam at the mouth about something you helped create :)

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011Here's Mr Denmore's latest blog. Class work, as usual: http://thefailedestate.blogspot.com/2011/01/instant-controversy.html?showComment=1296381351766#c4552924229172929004

2353

30/01/2011FS, I think you're on to something here. Don't forget Abbott can't claim any of the Centrelink assistance grants or money from flood appeals either.

Acerbic Conehead 2

30/01/2011Senexx, I’m sorry to hear my “dissertation” was a bit too long for you. However, it could have been worse – it might have been in joined-up writing. Maybe come back when you get into long trousers. BTW, is that a picture of a wax model of a Roman Patrician or a picture of you as an extra in “Carry On Up The Colosseum”? I reckon it’s the latter – the wristwatch is a dead giveaway. NormanK, Excretory orifice indeed! That’s why expressions such as “bullshit” come naturally to him. Best wishes to you and yours with that cyclone. TT, “Simian...Gibberish...would that be Gibbonish then?” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXq8rELhUkw Gravel, Great to hear you are enjoying the thread and comments. Keep writing in – we love to hear from you. Janice, Thanks for the kind words. And best wishes for the great work you are doing to help those unfortunate furry and feathered fellas. Jason, You say it’s a cool 40.3 under your pagola. That’s nuthin! It was a lot warmer in Jesus’ day, lol. FS, It looks like Tones is losing it. I get the impression the powerbrokers aren’t happy about the lack of return on their investment. jj, “Acerbic Conehead 2...you are worse than AA” LOL. To be placed in the same company as AA is an honour. To be “worse than AA” must be akin to winning the Lotto, Perth Glory scoring a goal, and the missus not having a headache, all on the same night.

jane

30/01/2011FS, Smuggles might wear his BUYBELL on his belt, but I bet he never reads it. There's only 5 months to go to the Greens assuming BOP in the Senate and I think this is the reason the Smuggles Set and MSM are increasing the ferocity of their campaign; if he can't force an election or turn the Independents before then, he's consigned to the Rubbish Bin of Irrelevance. The government only has to hang on until July 1. Bob Katter has indicated he'll support the levy with conditions attached. I don't know what Tony Crook's position is; hopefully he'll sink the slipper (or preferably hob-nailed boots) and we can all wave the Smuggles Set bye bye as we clap the lid on the Bin.

Jason

30/01/2011National party canididate for the seat of New England,jj, commented in a Tamworth door-stop interview today, “Floods will always be lower under a Coalition government.” When pressed for more detail jj said, “Because dams will always be higher under a Coalition government.”

Jason

30/01/2011Normank, not sure where you live! but the Bom radar looks like you could be copping it! Stay safe!

BSA Bob

30/01/2011Though it's currently under wraps in order to facilitate the media & coalition's attacks on Labor for not going to a double dissolution, the accepted commentary is that no side of politics can realistically hope for an outright Senate majority. Rudd or Gillard would post election have been dealing with much the same numbers against them in the Senate, their proposed legislation would have been blocked again. The media portrays Mark Latham as it sees fit on the day. He goes from being cast as someone who can't manage his own chequebook to, when he writes an anti ALP piece, an insightful & valued commentator. I like little furry & feathered critters, too.

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011jane, Tony Crook(WA), has already said that he will be supporting the Flood Levy. Just as Colin Carpenter, er, Colin Barnett has said so as well.Magnanimously=there must be shedloads of money coming into the WA coffers, Barnett said that WA hasn't been too badly affected by Natural Disasters of late(ergo, the floods in Carnarvon must have just rolled over the red dirt and down into an aquifer without causing too much damage to infrastructure), so he said his State was more than happy to do their bit to help those affected in other States. Lol, all I can say is that I'm glad Colin Barnett isn't federal Opposition Leader because he plays a better game of political strategy than Abbott ever could. In other words, on the issue that Gillard has to tarry with him over, that being the Health & Hospitals policy & funding shake-up, she is going to have her work cut out for her in convincing him to ditch the required amount of GST to make it all work. His would probably be the only State that could afford to pay for its hospitals into the future without any financial help from the feds.

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011BSABob, So, you're saying Mark Latham's a tool of the media? I agree. :)

Feral Skeleton

30/01/2011Guys, the stuff in this link is very heavy duty. I would like you all to take note of the reference to Australia during the Howard years and their links to Mubarak's new Deputy President. Remember the old saying, 'You are judged by the company that you keep'? Remember also that Tony Abbott was a Senior Minister in the Howard government: http://www.uruknet.info/?p=m74425&hd=&size=1&l=e&fb=1

TalkTurkey

31/01/2011I can't wait now for Parliament to sit. This will be Gillard's time to shine. She will take chunks out of Abbortt, you watch. He can't evade her any longer. He can't dodge her in the House. I am licking my lips. Just you wait Phoney Tony just you wait. Can you imagine the ammo she has on him and how she will relish the chance to fire it. OOOOhhhh. Shudder of anticipatory pleasure. Tony's on his way down now. He shall deflate now. All that's keeping him there is the lack of anyone to replace him. Turnbull's too Wet and too damaged by his own hand. Abbortt will be rolled by Scott Morrison, yes? Greg Hunt? We gotta be careful here what we wish for though. We got rid of Alexander Downer as Leader once, only to end up with Howard. But look-you, such talk as I’m talking now is all it’s gonna take to roll Abbortt. He’s yesterday. Going nowhere, and They have this awful cloud of realization of that creeping across their hoped-for royal blue sky. He’s failed. Especially since his disastrous unAustralian performance over the flood levy. The Libs are starting to turn their eyes in other directions, wavering already. It’s all good, they’ve got themselves wedged between the shrivelling past and a slithery future. Hell hath no fury like a clever ranga woman given a hard time and then given the whip hand. Go Julia. One day soon, Swordsfolks, you will feel almost sorry for Abbortt – incredible as it may sound right now.

Ad astra reply

31/01/2011Folks Apologies for the problem this morning getting access to ‘Comments’. They are now visible again and you are able to comment once more.

Ad astra reply

31/01/2011jj You have become an expert in finding fault with Julia Gillard, who, in your estimation, seems to have no redeeming features at all. Would you please favour us with a similarly forensic analysis of Tony Abbott, whom you admit you don’t like. While you’re at it, tells how he would make a better PM than Julia.

NormanK

31/01/2011The morning after the night before. Cyclone Anthony turned out to be much less damaging than might otherwise have been the case. Here in the Burdekin we got very little wind and no rain despite being only about 80 kilometres north of landfall so I guess he was just the dress rehearsal for Cyclone Yasi who looks like being much more vindictive. Bowen copped the worst of it but even there he produced very little substantial damage. Thanks all for your well-wishes. Is this the start of something good? [b]Gillard loses her chief of staff[/b] [quote]Julia Gillard has lost her chief of staff just seven months into her prime ministership. She will be replaced by Ben Hubbard, the outgoing boss of the Victorian Bushfire Reconstruction and Recovery Authority. Mr Hubbard previously was Ms Gillard's chief of staff when she was deputy opposition leader and deputy prime minister.[/quote] http://news.smh.com.au/breaking-news-national/gillard-loses-her-chief-of-staff-20110131-1aacf.html FS A small correction - Mark Latham is "The Tool" of the media.

TalkTurkey

31/01/2011NormanK said "I guess he was just the dress rehearsal for Cyclone Yasi who looks like being much more vindictive." TT thinks . . . Ahhh Queensland! Beautiful one day . . . Ermmmmm . . . Sorry Bananafolk. Us Crowies got 42 degrees today, or more . . .

Feral Skeleton

31/01/2011Well, that better be the last time I can't get access to TPS to make comments. I cleaned out the Bookcase this morning! And what a messy, dirty, dusty job it was on a very warm morning too. :(

Feral Skeleton

31/01/2011NormanK, I thought Cyclone Tony would be a bit of a fizzer, pretty much like his namesake-all bark and no bite. :)

NormanK

31/01/2011FS Curious that you should use the expression "fizzer". I originally had it in my post but took it out because one does not wish to tempt fate. What do you think of the PM's change of Chief of Staff? Could this be the new broom at work?

Feral Skeleton

31/01/2011I think we better get onto this 'viral e-mail campaign' bandwagon to counteract the filth that is being peddled about Julia Gillard et al. Here is the latest instalment from their sick, Regressive minds: The Queen’s riddle Julia Gillard met with the Queen in England .. She asked her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?” “Well,” said the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.” Julia frowned, and then asked, “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?” The Queen took a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.” The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. “Please send David Cameron in here, would you?” David Cameron walked into the room and said, “Yes, Your Majesty?” The Queen smiled and said, “Answer me this please, David, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?” Without pausing for a moment, David Cameron answered, “That would be me.” “Yes! Very good,” said the Queen. Julia went back home to Australia and asked Wayne Swan, her Deputy Prime Minister the same question. ” Wayne , answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?” “I’m not sure,” said Wayne . “Let me get back to you on that one.” He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer.. Finally, he ended up in the men’s room and recognized Tony Abbott’s shoes in the next stall. Wayne asked, “Tony, can you answer this for me? Your mother and Father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?” Tony yelled back, “That’s easy, it’s me!” Wayne smiled, and said, “Thanks!” Then, he went back to speak with Julia. “Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Tony Abbott” Julia got up, stomped over to Swan, and angrily yelled into his face, “No, You idiot! It’s the English Prime Minister, David Cameron!” AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS PRECISELY WHAT’S GOING ON WITH OUR FEDERAL GOVERNMENT IN CANBERRA ….

Feral Skeleton

31/01/2011I love the way the joke ends with (in All Caps) AND THAT IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR GOVERNMENT! as if a valid point has been made.

nasking

31/01/2011Like the new site...well done Ad astra & his son-in-law. Luv the sword pic. I know which politician's derrière many imagine it bein' shoved up after his pathetic negabore response to the flood & levy. [quote]Turnbull's too Wet and too damaged by his own hand. Abbortt will be rolled by Scott Morrison, yes? Greg Hunt? [/quote] Talk Turkey, Turnbull's still in w/ a chance if he can put aside the pompous-arse aspect to his nature...get up some courage...and act more like he did when he gave that firm, determined, articulate ETS-related speech in parliament. He needs to take the silver spoon outa his mouth & rub shoulders w/ some real down-to-earth folk. Even Julia has her "silver spoon" moments...includin' the way she sat at the cricket. I prefer her more feisty, the rip out the throat Julia of parliament...like she was (kinda) much of the past few days. If the cock jocks don't like her feistiness they can sit on their wads of cash & spin. Stuff 'em. It really irks me that Keating can get away w/ it...but when a woman shows some mongrel she's referred to as "losin' it" or "bitchy". Time for many Australians to wake up and smell progress. Hillary Clinton can get away w/ feisty...Thatcher did...why not Julia? People didn't seem to mind much when she wasn't PM. Old fashioned thinkin', stereotypes pushed...that's what...by the usual suspect media caterin' to the lowest common denominator. N'

Bring Back Maxine

31/01/2011AA I wish to apologize to you and my fellow Swordians for what I'm about to do. Mirko Bagaric, Professor of Law at Deakin University, wrote "Flood of bad decisions from Gillard" in today's Australian. Just when I thought the hysteria from the regressive Right wing couldn't get any worse. [b]WARNING: The following will probably bring about nausea, please keep a plastic bucket at hand.[/b] Here is the link: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/flood-of-bad-decisions-from-gillard/comments-fn59niix-1225997082458 I've requested several times in the past to fellow Swordians to refrain posting links to the Australian, as I believe that we should not add to the internet traffic to that twardy publication. However, when the article was brought to my attention, I was so outraged that I emailed the author direct as well as the Australian. Here is a copy of my email (which I cc'd to several members of the School's Board and to the PM herself): Mr Bagaric I read the above article in today's Australian. I was appalled by outrageous factually incorrect nature of the article. If this was presented as an argument in court of law it would be rightly dismissed as mere hearsay. That such a hysterical diatribe riddled with inaccuracies is espoused by a Professor and a Chair of an Australian Law school is simply incredulous and in my opinion reflects poorly on that School. It is something I'd expect from a radio shock jock. I hope that neither you nor any of your graduates who are influenced by your inaccurate formed opinion are ever appointed to a judicial position. The Doctrine of the Separation of Powers is far too an important cornerstone of our democracy."

nasking

31/01/2011"I think we better get onto this 'viral e-mail campaign' bandwagon to counteract the filth" Feral, And lower ourselves to their level? Bloody oath!!! :) N'

Feral Skeleton

31/01/2011Good point about the balderdash that Warren Truss & Barnaby Joyce have come out with today concerning the infrastructure redirect, supposedly, in marginal seats in Queensland: [Government denies playing politics with flood relief] http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2011/01/31/3125384.htm?section=justin It would be mighty strange if it was true. Deferring infrastructure expenditure in marginal seats is exactly the opposite of what one would do if “playing politics”. These, after all, are the seats the Government wants to win back next time around. Strangely the journalists don’t seem to have suggested this to Truss!

Feral Skeleton

31/01/2011Nas, I think it would be fun for our satirists to come up with a pithy & utterly humiliating e-mail about Monsieur Abbott and his Coalition cronies that well and truly takes the...wind out of their sails...due to the element of truth that it contains which cannot be denied. :)

Rx

31/01/2011jj has been justly jousted and their jaded lines junked by the jocular Acerbic Conehead. Just Wonderful, AC.

Feral Skeleton

31/01/2011Transcript of ABC Melbourne interview between the PM & Jon Faine this morning, wherein Julia gives Tony Abbott his just desserts: http://www.alp.org.au/federal-government/news/julia-gillard--transcript-of-interview-with-jon-fa/

Patricia WA

31/01/2011Thanks, BBM, Yes it was nauseating. I did post a comment but for once was simply as abusive as my self respect would allow me to be. [quote]Deakin University must be very hard up for academic staff if someone who can write this kind of biassed garbage can achieve "Professor" status![/quote] It's as unlikely to be posted as any other more reasoned comments I've made with News Ltd. But I felt marginally better after making it.

Jason

31/01/2011FS, On PM Agenda this afternoon Bruce Hawker said " quite frankly Abbott's just a one trick pony"

NormanK

31/01/2011FS Hastily baked this afternoon before the power goes off again. There's a story going around about a conversation Tony Abbott had with his daughter Louise during her third year at high school. Louise had just brought home the results of her English exam and proudly showed it to her father. "See Dad, I got 97.3% on the test, that's an A+," she exclaimed excitedly. "What?" cried Mr Abbott, "What about the other 2.7%?" "Aw Dad," Louise tried to explain, "that was because I was in a hurry to get it all finished and my teacher Mr Orgill said that he found some of the words hard to read and a couple were spelt wrong so he couldn't give me full marks." "I don't care," roared the future Leader of the Opposition, "2.7% is 2.7%! Every word counts and in future you will take greater care with your writing, even if it means you don't get the test finished. You're grounded for three years!" Now whenever one of Louise's friends asks Mr Abbott why it is that she can't come out with her on Saturday night, he scowls and tells them : "My parents didn't bring me up to be illegitimate! Nor will my daughters be. Louise needs to learn to have more respect for the English language. (Sotto voce) Um ah, or do I mean innumerate?"

Jason

31/01/201142.9 The official Max temp for Adelaide today!

Feral Skeleton

31/01/2011NormanK, Thank you! Now, how do I get a hold of all the e-mail addresses of those Self-Funded Retirees who make up the bulk of the Conservative e-mail chains? :)

Feral Skeleton

31/01/2011Jason, We put the temperature gauge in the driveway today and left in the sun for a while. Temperature=48 degrees! I might add it was only 32 degrees inside the house. :(

Feral Skeleton

31/01/2011Richard Goyder (head of Coles) said deflation was evident across all divisions, driven by competition and a strong Australian dollar. We have seen the CPI rate falling for 9 qtrs. Yet pollies still bang on about cost of living pressures. I guess people forget when prices fall, when their wages rise and only look at the cost of fruit?

kerry

31/01/2011Apologies to Bring Back Maxine I didn't know we were supposed to be blockading News Corp. However, I did post this today re the Bagaric article (and, no, it wasn't/or hasn't been accepted yet): “COMPELLING people to do that which you refuse to do yourself goes beyond hypocrisy: it's plain nasty” Well, you’d know all about that, Mirko. Like advocating the use of torture (your preferred method being hot needles inserted under the fingernails) by our law enforcement agencies? Lucky for Haneef you weren’t advising the AFP. And I’m a bit tired of a Croatian-born Australian patronisingly berating Australians for our "First World", "Western", and "middle class" sentiment and advocating that: 1/future generations must take care of themselves and clean up our mess as indeed we are cleaning up the mess of those before us. 2/alleged terrorists are not entitled to a fair trial. 3/the concept of human dignity is “vacuous”. 4/ that we have a paranoia, bordering on fanaticism, about keeping medical reports confidential, being part of the demonstrably unhealthy Western obsession for the right to privacy, which is part of the inward-looking selfish fixation people develop in the absence of genuine concerns regarding their wellbeing. While I reserve the right to agree or disagree with the flood levy, the Julia-bashers perhaps should be a bit more discerning who they jump on board with. 4.34pm The Australian January 31 “flood of bad decision etc” Also, I emailed Julia Gillard the on Jan 28 telling her to please get rid of the one-liners = Don't let go - and telling her to get rid of her advisers. It worked. Her COS has left.

BSA Bob

31/01/2011Feral Skeleton Re your post at 2.25pm. In addition to the media (as usual) framing the headline in a manner that automatically implies defensiveness on the part of the Government, this latest coalition attack seeks to take the divisiveness right into the affected areas, if possible pitting area against area. I agree that a Government needing to win back seats wouldn't be keen to starve them of spending, certainly Mr Abbott's predecessor understood this point. One can only speculate as to why it's beyond the grasp of the press. Acknowledgements to Mr Denmore re his recent piece on the media's deliberate framing of headlines.

Ad astra reply

31/01/2011Folks I have just posted [i]Welcome to The Political Sword 2011[/i] http://www.thepoliticalsword.com/post/2011/01/31/Welcome-to-The-Political-Sword-2011.aspx

nasking

31/01/2011[quote]On PM Agenda this afternoon Bruce Hawker said "quite frankly Abbott's just a one trick pony"[/quote] Jason, Abbott irritates me so much these days, he's sooo uninspiring, I put up a post on him...made me feel better: The Wrecker...or Mr. Negabore comes to Canberra http://cafewhispers.wordpress.com/2011/01/31/the-wrecker-or-mr-negabore-comes-to-canberra/ N'
How many oranges do I have if I have 3 oranges and take ONE away?