What a Y-Frontery!

According to the promotional blurbs sent out to advertise his new TV show, Y-Frontsline, Tony “Mike Moore” Abbott is such a hit as the Leader of the Opposition, he can afford to share out a bit of his presence by also entertaining the TV masses while he’s at it.

To be truthful, however, Tones is simply moonlighting so that he can meet the repayments of his great big fat mortgage.

So, he has done a few practice interviews and they are simply devastating.



And the story behind the name of his new TV program, Y-Frontsline? Well, he reckoned he got a lot of mileage out of his budgie smugglers motif, so why not trade on the old tried and tested Y-Fronts label as well?



So, at the Sydney studios, Tones is getting ready for his first pre-recorded interview at 11.00 am with a high-flying guest. The latter is visiting from the USA and is called Stevie Ray Finklestein Jr, III. He is one of the directors of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).

Therefore, he is a greenie. And Tones hates greenies, so he’s gonna show up this nerdy, warmist geek big time!

That morning, Tones is at a production meeting to discuss how the upcoming interview should go. Also present are his fellow-reporters (and big rivals), Julie “Brooke Vandenberg” Bishop, and Malcolm “Marty di Stasio” Turnbull, plus the Executive Producer, Rupie “Prowsey” Murdoch. It is 10.00 am.

Rupie: Right, you lot...we gotta make this inaugural interview of Tones work, or it’ll be the second-most humblest day of my life...And, as for you, Tones, you better be a lot more effective as a studio interviewer than you are as Leader of the Opposition – why, that bloody NBN is gonna kill us...

Tones: Erm...your trust is well-placed in my hands, Mr Murdoch – I won’t let you down...

[Malcolm whispers out of the side of his mouth to Julie.]

Mal: Huh...I hope for his sake his guests don’t walk out after two questions, just like he does...heh...heh...

Rupie: What was that, Mal?

Mal: Erm...nothing, Mr Murdoch...I was just saying to Julie that as far as the interviews are concerned, Tones here is going to walk all over them...

Rupie: And rightly so...ratings are all that matter here...and, speaking of ratings, we need to ensure that Y-Frontsline gets more than its market share, and destroys its main rivals...

Tones (sycophantically): Erm...Mr Murdoch, sir...who would our main rivals be at this moment in time?

[Julie “Brooke Vandenberg” Bishop butts in.]

Julie: Erm...if I could just add something at this juncture, Mr Murdoch...in regards to our rivals, I think their identities are staring us in the face...

[Everyone tries to suppress their sly sniggers.]

Julie: And...as I was saying...I reckon that Sophie Mirabella’s new gig over at the ABC is our biggest threat...

Tones: Yeah, I heard The Collectors has got a reprieve and Sophie will be fronting it...

Mal: Yeah...she’ll be inviting all the oldies to send in their valuables to display on her show...

Julie: Yeah, and she has no intention of sending them back...bwah-ha-ha-ha...

[The production team nearly falls off their chairs laughing at Sophie’s expense. After a few minutes, Mal wipes the tears of laughter from his cheeks.]

Mal: Oh...and I reckon Swannie’s new gong from Euromoney Magazine, as the universe’s best tax-collector, was the impetus for him taking over from Alan Kohler on Inside Business...

Tones: Nah...don’t worry about Swannie!!! I’ll have him for breakfast – there’s more economic nous down the front of my Y-Fronts than there is in Swannie’s whole body...

[This time the others do indeed fall off their chairs in paroxysms of laughter. As they roll around on the carpet, making the three hyenas in The Lion King look like Gerald Henderson, Warren Truss and Niki Savva at a WorkChoices cremation and wake, Tones looks from one to the other, wondering what it was he said that was the cause of such uproarious merriment. Eventually, he gives up and exits the meeting. It is now 10.15 am.

So, Tones wanders down the corridor and pops his head into the office of Ban “Elliot Rhodes” Morrison, the “Friday Night Funnyman”, who will perform the musical skits summarising the main political events of the week.

However, Tones hates Ban, as he has the potential to upstage him towards the end of his show.]

Ban: Oh, hi Tones...I’m really looking forward to singing on your new Y-Frontsline show...

Tones: Erm, Ban...there’s only one way to tell you this, but you’re fired...we just had a production meeting, and it was our unanimous decision to give you the boot...so, clear your desk and rack off...

Ban: But...but...but...I thought I was an integral part of the team, Tones...

Tones: Yeah, you were...until, in rehearsals, you came up with that stupid song about me filling in the back of my Y-fronts when I heard about the High Court putting the kibosh on Nauru...What was that quaint little ditty called again – “I thought Nauru was a dump, til I had a look at Tony’s Y-Fronts”...Well, chum, just keep singing it as you waltz out the door...buonanotte...heh...heh...

[Tones turns on his heel and marches on down the corridor. He enters the office of Barnaby “Geoffrey Salter” Joyce, the TV station’s weatherman. However, if the truth be known, Barnaby hasn’t got a clue about meteorology. Initially, he had applied for the job of company accountant, but, as he failed the adding test at the interview, he remarked to the panel that he would love to move to Sydney, as he was sick and tired of driving into flooded creeks in Queensland. However, as they had no other applicants, the Panel offered the vacant position of weatherman to Barnaby instead.]

Tones: Hi Barnaby...did you hear that global warming has caused the oceans to rise by four feet?

Barnaby: No, get away, Tones! Oh, I get it...it’s another one of your jokes...Well, what about the sea level rising by four feet because of global warming?

Tones: Well, it means that Sophie is down at Bondi, treading water as we speak...bwah-ha-ha-ha...

[The two friends are wetting themselves laughing, but, after a few moments, Barnaby stops. Noticing that Barnanby has stopped kacking himself, Tones also desists.]

Tones (incredulously): What’s the matter, Barnaby – don’t you think my joke’s rip-roaringly funny?

Barnaby: Erm...to be truthful, Tones...I don’t get it...can you explain it to me...please?

[Not for the first time, Tones is disgusted at Barnaby’s inability to get his jokes. Again, he turns on his heel and marches off down the corridor. He pops his head into the office of Peter “Hugh Tabbath” Dutton, the chain-smoking video-editor. Pete is a very loyal servant of the Company, keen to inform everyone that he smokes three packs an hour, so that the Company can maintain its sponsorship deal with Big Tobacco.

The atmosphere in Pete’s office, therefore, is so polluted, it would make the air around Krakatoa in 1883 look like the Garden of Eden before Adam and Eve got their marching orders.]

Pete: Hi, Tones...[cough, cough]...Wanna fag, mate?

Tones: Nah, mate...gotta bike ride this arvo...must keep the old lungs in good working order...[cough, cough]...

[Tones notices Pete’s half-empty packet of coffin-nails on his desk.]

Tones: Jeeze, mate...haven’t you seen the disgusting pictures of diseased lungs on the front of your pack...[cough, cough]...Don’t images like that put you off smoking for good, mate?

Pet: Wow! I didn’t...[cough, cough]...realise those pictures were of smokers’ lungs, mate...I always thought they were snaps of nature-strips after Gillard’s NBN had its evil way with them...hee...hee...[cough, cough]...

[Tones can’t endure the atmosphere in Pete’s office any longer, so high-tails it before he becomes just another statistic of industrial manslaughter. He strolls down the corridor and spots Annabel “Domenica” Crabb, the company receptionist, at the front desk. Everybody knows that Annabel has the hots for Tones, but it isn’t reciprocated. Tones, however, likes to chat to Annabel as she has the great knack of being able to stroke his enormous ego.]

Annabel (gushingly): Oh, hi Tones-babes!! And how’s my favourite TV personality today? I bet that pert little butt of yours is feeling very comfy inside those sexy Y-Fronts you wear...So, if they’re slipping down a tad, just let me know, and I’ll help you to pull them up nice and tight...Whaddya reckon, big boy?

[Tones can’t help blushing, but is keen to get Annabel to inform him, as if he doesn’t know it already, of his schedule for the rest of the day. She reminds him that he is doing a pre-recorded interview with Mr Finkelstein (of the IPCC) in twenty minutes time at 11.00 am. Just then, however, and prompted by Annabel’s interest in his nether regions, Tones excuses himself, saying he needs to spend a penny. He marches off to the gents, enters the cubicle and sits himself down on the dunny.

However, he has no sooner finished, when his mobile rings. Tones answers it and it is Annabel on the line, informing him that “Mr Finklestein is in reception”. “Crap!” says Tones to himself, “what is it with these bloody greenies – haven’t they heard of watches! He’s fifteen minutes early, ffs!”

However, Tones has a brainwave. “I’ll teach this leftie warmist bastard a lesson...heh...heh...” He tells Annabel to keep him in reception for a couple of minutes and then send him to meet him in the gents.

So, in the reception area, Mr Finklestein makes himself comfortable, leafing through the Y-Frontsline catalogue which he found on the coffee table. He is so taken by one picture in particular, that he can’t resist the temptation to rip it out and put it in his pocket.

Meanwhile, Tones jumps off the dunny, without flushing it, grabs the toilet rolls and hides them in the cupboard, and turns the thermostat on the wash-handbasin’s water-heater right down to freezing. He then races up the back stairs to Barnaby’s office, grabs something off the bookshelf and skates back down again to the gents, just before Mr Finkelstein arrives, carrying a clip-board.]

Mr Finklestein: Aha! You must be Mr Abbott...But, I must say, I am finding it very unusual to be directed to the male toilets to meet you...very unusual protocols, to say the least, my good man...

[Mr Finkelstein proceeds to record something on his clip-board. Tones, however, is intrigued that this greenie Yank has suddenly developed an Australian accent, but, then, what do you expect from these subversive mongrels who are trying to impose their primitive, tofu-munching ideology on normal people like him.]

Mr Finkelstein: But, before we go any further, Mr Abbott, I must say I haven’t completed my ablutions today, so I will utilise yonder cubicle, if you don’t mind...

[Mr Finkelstein enters the cubicle and locks the door. Immediately, however, Tones hears a gasp of disgust emanating from within.]

Mr Finkelstein: Euwww! Good gracious! How disgusting! The last person in here didn’t flush the toilet!

Tones (dismissively): Don’t fret yourself, mate...shit happens...heh...heh...

[Tones can hear Mr Finkelstein scribbling frantically on his trusty clip-board. Then the toilet is flushed, followed by the sound of Mr Finklestein unzipping his flies. After another few moments, another anguished cry emanates form within the cubicle.]

Mr Finkelstein: I don’t believe it! There’s no toilet paper in here!

[Again, Tones hears the tell-tale sounds of Mr Finkelstein writing on his clip-board. So, Tones fires under the door the big book he had grabbed off Barnaby’s book-shelf.]

Tones: Oh, stop your whinging! Here’s a copy of the latest report from your greenie mates at the Productivity Commission – if it’s good enough for Barnaby to use as toilet-paper, it’s good enough for you...haw...haw...

[After a few moments, Tones hears the toilet being flushed and a very irate Mr Finkelstein, still scribbling furiously on his clip-board, emerges. Totally speechless with rage, he puts down the clip-board and runs the water in the wash-hand basin. After an eternity, the water is still stone-cold!]

Mr Finkelstein (rhetorically): I don’t believe this, Mr Abbott! Don’t you know that, for hygiene reasons, hot water should be provided in wash-hand basins?

[Again, Mr Finkelstein writes something on his clip-board.]

Tones: Look, mate...the water used to be hot, but because of global cooling, its temperature seems to have gone down a notch or two...heh...heh...

[Then, as Mr Finkelstein continues to record on his clip-board, Tones’ mobile goes off.]

Tones: Hallo? Oh, hi Domenica...Who? What do you mean there’s another Mr Finkelstein in reception? You...you...you are saying this one’s got an American accent and is here to be interviewed by me on global warming!

[Tones looks at this very irate Mr Finklestein and the penny starts to drop.]

Tones (barely audibly): Erm...you’re not Mr Finkelstein from the IPCC, are you?

Mr Finkelstein (sternly): No, I’m not! I happen to be Mr Ray Finkelstein, chairman of the Inquiry into the Australian Media ...and, Mr Abbott, after I write my report, and if the terms of reference are widened to include dubious programs like yours, I think your career in the TV interviewing business will be somewhat stillborn...

Tones: But...but...but...what about my big mortgage? I need the extra dosh from this little earner to help meet the repayments!

Mr Finklestein: Well, if you need the extra money, Mr Abbott, maybe you can give some consideration to applying for a male model’s position, advertising your company’s wares...I think this image I got from your Y-Frontsline catalogue suits you to a tee...hee...hee...



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2353

30/09/2011I always loved Frontline AC, this one is nearly as good as the original. I doubt if it would be made today because it seems to be even closer to the truth than it was years ago. You know it was even sold to a cable station in the US after re-dubbing because "Frontline" really is a current affairs program over the other side of the Pacific. I suspect that Abbott will eventually be caught in a web of his own self deception - just as you have written here. "I'm Mike Moore - welcome to Frontline".

lyn

30/09/2011Acerbic Conehead Thankyou for yet another award winning article, making everyone happy for the weekend. A big Thankyou for your Happy Holiday wishes Tones didn't look as fit as that model, last time I saw him on TV he had crooked legs. Typical of Annabel: [quote]Annabel gushingly): Oh, hi Tones-babes!! And how’s my favourite TV personality today? I bet that pert little butt of yours is feeling very comfy inside those sexy Y-Fronts you wear...So, if they’re slipping down a tad, just let me know, and I’ll help you to pull them up nice and tight...Whaddya reckon, big boy? [/quote] Cheers:):):):):):)

lyn

30/09/2011Hi Jason Thankyou for your happy holiday wishes, I love my little kiss at the bottom. [quote]Did you notice one George Brandis SC is also on, I suspect after Albo and no doubt Brandis sc will forget his side were ever in office and tell bolt he's only been found guilty because of what Labor done in 1995! [/quote] Yes I did notice George Brandis is on, so I went looking for some comments about George Brandis, because 2353 at 04.44pm asked:- [quote]Regarding Brandis' comments on the Racial Discrimination Act, when is someone going to ask him why the LNP did nothing while they were in power? It won't change anything but it will make him look like a goose![/quote] 2353 I know you mean a Journalist asking the obvious question, but if they have read the article, surely they should ask now?????????? Judging by the comments on the Brandis article , he should have the message by now. I see Secret Chimp below calls George Mr Sheen: [quote]SecretChimpLarry Z[/quote] Laughably, George "Mr Sheen" Brandis wants race relations act changed after the #Bolt decision. Statute was added on his watch, under J-Ho! 10 hours agoFavoriteRetweetReply [quote]Section 18C has no place in a society that values freedom of expression , George Brandis, The Australian[/quote] Ian Posted at 6:01 AM Today [b]The coalition had 13 yrs to ammend theact[/b], asleep at the wheel can be the only conclusion. Comment 6 of 104 Sally from Brisbane Posted at 6:58 AM Today Yes but [b]whose Coalition government was in power for more than TEN YEARS without addressing this[/b] repugnant legislation George?? Comment 13 of 104 On the Mark Posted at 7:13 AM Today I agree with you and as a Coalition voter for 25 years I have one question. [b]Why did you not amend this when you had majority [/b]in both houses, especially if you were opposed to it in the first place. Comment 17 of 104 . Gary Johns pointed out in yesterdays media that whilst the Liberals opposed the original legislation in 1995, [b]they had 11 years in government (some with an absolute majority in both houses) [/b]and didn't change it. Don't blame the present government for your own weakness,apathy or oversight George. Comment 18 of 104 Jimbo of Melbourne Posted at 7:20 AM Today While I agree wholehertedly, the question remains - [b]why did the Howard Government not repeal this section[/b] of the act during its period in office? Comment 19 of 104 Uncle Quentin Posted at 8:08 AM Today George [b]You lot had the chance to amend the act while in power[/b]. So why didn't you? Comment 27 of 104 Dave C of Flinders NSW Posted at 8:23 AM Today I agree... [b]BUT you had almost 13 years of Government[/b], the last two and and half with a full senate majority to fix this. Why didnt you do it then?? Comment 30 of 104 kazann Posted at 8:38 AM Today If you were so concerned why did the Coalition do nothing in their eleven plus years in government? You don't like the umpires decision. well lump it. [b]Your party had ample time to change it and chose not to. [/b] Comment 34 of 104 Big Man Pig Man Posted at 8:55 AM Today Stamp the feet now but obviously you guys had [b]better things to do between 1996 and 2007 than amend a law you knew in 1995 [/b]was wrong. Comment 39 of 104 Davo Posted at 9:10 AM Today Well George, if it is such a bad law, [b]why didn't you do something [/b]about it in the ten years you were in government? Comment 45 of 104 Mark Posted at 9:26 AM Today [i]The Liberals were in power for 11 years after that[/i]... why didn't they change it? Comment 51 of 104 CDM of q Posted at 9:35 AM Today [b]why didn't the coalition government repeal it [/b]when it was in government? Comment 52 of 104 Liberal Voter of Bendigo Posted at 9:38 AM Today Well put Senator, but why was the Act left untouched when the [b]Liberals were in government for 11 years[/b]? Comment 54 of 104 MDG Posted at 9:54 AM Today [b]And yet in 11 years of government, Senator, including time with a double majority, the Coalition didn't[/b] even try to change the RDA, so I guess it either wasn't that Orwellian or you're more comfortable with it than you're now painting yourself Comment 57 of 104 Ron House of Toowoomba Posted at 10:12 AM Today [b]the Howard government did not repeal this law[/b]. Your words are empty without a firm promise to repeal when you next hold government. Comment 63 of 104 Matt Jones of Sydney Posted at 10:27 AM Today George, if this Act was such an imposition on Australian democracy, [b]why didn't the Howard Government repeal it during its 10 years [/b]in office? Why hasn't the Opposition been pushing for its repeal these last 3 years? Or is it merely convenient for you to jump on the bandwagon being pushed by your fellow ideologues now that Andrew Bolt has had his bottom smacked for sloppy and wilfully offensive journalism? Comment 69 of 104 mehitabel Posted at 10:29 AM Today [b]So why didn't you repeal these laws when you were in power [/b]for eleven years, if they were so bad and you recognised the threat they posed? Comment 70 of 104 Anders Jibrand of Sydney Posted at 11:12 AM Today Mr Brandis you should be ashamed of yourself. [b]You did absolutely nothing when in government. [/b]You should have more respect for you Aboriginal brothers and sisters. Comment 80 of 104 http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/opinion/section-18c-has-no-place-in-a-society-t Cheers:):):):):):)

lyn

30/09/2011Hi Ad Sorry, after all that my link is broken. Here it is again: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/opinion/section-18c-has-no-place-in-a-society-that-values-freedom-of-expression/comments-e6frgd0x-1226152196836?pg=1 Cheers:):):):)

A Boor's Boar - Sophie's Biggest Fan

30/09/2011Acerbic Conehead Snoooorrt!!! What a pile of lard! How do you sleep at night? Don't you know about karma? All the frightful hateful things you've said about Sophie will come back to haunt you. Sophie understands that you can't abuse people without there being consequences - you should take a leaf from her book. I don't know why you have to be so hurtful. If only you could see Sophie [my pet name for her is Grunt when we are alone together (it's a clever play on words that someone with your obvious lack of wit could never hope to understand. Joe Hockey would get it in a flash because he has a sophisticated sense of humour)] in her more vulnerable moments. First thing in the morning, beautiful almond shaped eyes puffy from the night's sleep, standing up on her hind legs to look in the bathroom mirror as she waxes her moustache (TV cameras are Hell for the hirsute woman), filing her teeth with an emery board or lips curled while she is lovingly applying her lipstick with a brickie's trowel. That's the Little Miss that I know and love. She has the perfect body shape - a low centre of gravity (that makes it easy to look graceful as you gorge at the trough of parliamentary perks), a sirloin end that makes her tail twitch when she waddles, and a bosom that any self-respecting sow would be proud of. Your crude attempts to mock her beautiful stature are more of a reflection of your own inability to recognise prime stock when you see it than it is a true rendering of her scrumptious body mass index. What a great shame that she is married. Still, that fool of a husband of hers has no idea that I'm living in the little house at the back of the farm. Sophie assures me that soon we will be brought together in a way that no man may cut us asunder. "My little Sausage Filling," she says, hand-feeding me buckets of cherries, "soon you will become a permanent part of the family." Hubby is living on borrowed time. I can't wait to see the look on the kids' faces when they find out they've been cut out of their father's will. As for the dude in the fake pigskin, I'd like to meet him in a dark mudhole - I'd teach him a thing or two about gettin' down 'n' dirty.

2353

1/10/2011A Boor's Boar - welcome a boar(d) - in the umlikely chance you are actually a new poster. Mike Carlton's column is well worth reading this morning. http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/nuts-come-out-after-the-truth-has-bolted-20110930-1l1al.html

2353

1/10/2011P.S. Lyn, thanks for the comments from the Australian. It's one of those "Do you still beat your wife" questions - there is no answer that will stop him looking like a goose.

Feral Skeleton

1/10/2011Good Morning 2353, I think 'A Boor's Boor' is a commenter in the style of The Daily Telegraph's infamous 'Peter Holmes'. :)

Feral Skeleton

1/10/2011Peter Hartcher is also attempting to engage us in some caution today, wryly: http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/politics/the-pied-piper-of-parliament-20110930-1l1il.html?rand=1317393091772

Feral Skeleton

1/10/2011Martin Flanagan on Bolt: http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/bolts-barks-of-discontent-lack-bite-20110930-1l1bg.html

Gravel

1/10/2011Acerbic, what a lovely profile of Sir Liealot, you have excelled again. I won't spoil the party on who 'a boar's boar' is. Well done to you too. Lyn Even on a break you are just as productive. Enjoy your new granddaughter, I envy you. I had boys, and they both had boys.....and some of them are arriving soon, so have to do the mother/nanna thing for a couple of days. :-)

Michael

1/10/2011Go the Warriors! Anything that will bring a tear to Shouldabeen's Manly eye.

Feral Skeleton

1/10/2011Michael, The Warriors AND Geelong, in order to put a spoke in Eddie McGuire's "Footy Tax" bike. :)

Granny Anny

1/10/2011I am going to stick my neck out and make a prediction. This follows Mr Bolt being found guilty and the subsequent reaction from the right. (And great glee from the other side I might add) I have no legal training but reading about the case and noting the reaction I doubt that there will be an appeal. It is pretty clear he breached the act and the only way the right can balance this is to say the act is wrong. I reckon, after enough time has elapsed for us all to move on the newspaper will print the required apology, carefully worded with legal input so as to not upset their fans too much, and hidden away in the hope that it won't be noticed.

Jason

1/10/2011Do we really want a leader trapped in a bygone era http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/politics/do-we-really-want-a-leader-trapped-in-a-bygone-era-20110930-1l1gx.html

lyn

1/10/2011Hi Gravel I hope you have a lovely weekend with your Grandson's. I know you would be a perfect grandmother. Enjoy your weekend Gravel. Cheers:):):):):):):):)

Feral Skeleton

1/10/2011Granny Anny, The point you make is spot on and the reason why puffed-shirt Brandis is talking about changing the law, rather than appealing the verdict. This cartoon will help explain things: http://www.smh.com.au/photogallery/opinion/cartoons/ron-tandberg-20090910-fixc.html

Feral Skeleton

1/10/2011A brilliant blog(aren't they all?) by Andrew Catsaras: http://andrewcatsaras.blogspot.com/2011/01/take-me-to-your-follower-or-little_26.html

Jason

1/10/2011We Are Geelong! Go you Cats

Feral Skeleton

1/10/2011The stand being taken by Andrew Wilkie is incoherant. He will bring down the government if they don't dance to his tune, note by note; however, that just means that Tony Abbott gets the means to his end, an election, courtesy of Mr Wilkie, and Mr Wilkie ends up never getting what he says he wants because Tony Abbott has stated without pausing for breath or reflection that he will never support Mandatory Pre-Commitment legislation. http://www.canberratimes.com.au/news/local/news/general/abbotts-pokies-stance-hardens-wilkies-resolve/2310044.aspx?storypage=0

Feral Skeleton

1/10/2011Now, I understand where Andrew Wilkie is coming from: http://www.northerndailyleader.com.au/blogs/soapbox-australia-day-in-tamworth/precommitment-will-be-the-seatbelt-of-pokie-reform/2309724.aspx Don't get me wrong about that. However, the way he is going about getting what he wants is just heading himself in the direction of a Pyrrhic victory.

Michael

1/10/2011Saving Tony Abbott. Paul Kelly, post publicity for Susan Mitchell's new book examining the dark underbelly of Shouldabeen, rides to the rescue here: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/opinion/the-other-side-of-tony-abbott/story-e6frgd0x-1226154426122 which is one long stain of bullshit that includes, as a sum-up of just how long, stained and utter bullshit Kelly's article is, this paragraph: "Abbott's political character has long been obvious: he is a conservative who shuns government-engineered schemes to remake the existing order, from carbon pricing to the republic." Apparently Australian taxpayers handing over billions of dollars for polluting companies as part of Abbott's Direct Action policy for climate is not a 'government-engineered scheme'. Apparently hiring and paying a 15,000 person Green Army as part of the same policy is also not a 'government-engineered scheme'. Paul Kelly has found a way to spell his name as "disingenuous", like the conundrum in SBS's Letters and Numbers quiz show. No, I'm wrong. He's signed off on the article with his newly acquired initials only - not PK. BS. PS Funny how strongman Abbott seems to need, or his apologists seem to think he needs, protection. Let him speak for himself, I say. It will still summarise as contradictory, inflammatory, unbased in truth and biased towards soundbites and the 'burbs, but it will at least be his own bullshit, not the loose macramé weavings of pissant paladins riding to Putin Down Under's disordered defence.

Michael

1/10/2011Not black and white at all. http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/opinion/repeal-dusty-sections-of-racial-discrimination-act/story-e6frgd0x-1226154340112 Christopher Pearson writes in today's Australian words that render ideas into that special sort of grey that Right wing thinkers (sic) specialise in. A 'what's all the fuss about anyway?' faux reasonableness that you know is delivered so softly softly and 'sensible' it can only mean one thing. They are disguising the smoke coming out of the greater hollowness between the writer's ears as the wafting perfume of gentle observation. While their boots itch to kick in doors and smash the fragile window panes allowing the all too few glimpses into a better world that the disenfranchised have achieved. "Backwards backwards backwards" is the Conservatives' rallying cry, though phonetically it reaches us as, "oh come now, really, wasn't this just such a silly thing to have ever been done?".

Patricia WA

1/10/2011Really, FS? Incoherent? Wilkie makes sense to me. The ugliness of Clubs Australia is self evident and their advertising will be counter-productive. What sane Aussie family wants their kids' Little Athletics training subsidised by pokie addicts going to the wall. We don't have pokies anywhere here in WA except where they belong - in the Casino. Our pubs and and clubs are places you can go to meet friends and enjoy their company without the constant background noise of row on row of pokies clanging away.

lyn

1/10/2011Hi Michael Thankyou for your shouldabeen report, excellent as per usual. I agree with you:- [quote]one long stain of bullshit that includes, as a sum-up of just how long, stained and utter bullshit Kelly's article[/quote] The last few lines amuse me, train wreck that Labor expects, more like Paul Kelly covering his back, he expects but too busy covering up and glossing over. Kelly is talking in circles. [quote]It will be hard for Labor to halt Abbott's momentum from this point. The bigger question for the country, however, is whether the Abbott package works in office or becomes the train wreck that Labor expects.[/quote] Shouldabeen in his speech at the finals, takes another swipe at Wayne Swan: [quote]davidbewartdavidbewart by watermelon_man[/quote] Abbott takes another swipe at wayne swan at the gf breakfast. Just cannot be gracious enough to acknlowedge his achievement. prick 54 minutes agoFavoriteRetweetReply [quote]In recent days we have seen someone called Swan labelled the best at his craft in the whole world. Well sorry, Wayne. Dane Swan is the world’s greatest and he thoroughly deserved the Brownlow medal.[/quote] http://www.tonyabbott.com.au/News/tabid/94/articleType/ArticleView/articleId/8362/Address-to-the-2011-AFL-Grand-Final-Breakfast-Etihad-Stadium-Melbourne.aspx Cheers:):):):):)

Ad astra reply

1/10/2011Granny Anny I'm inclined to agree with you.

Jaeger

1/10/2011Granny Anny, Normally I'd agree with you, but one interesting outcome is that Justice Bromberg "ordered no settlement on the parties, who will negotiate between them what measures Bolt and the Herald Sun will take." They may decide that a negotiated settlement is likely to be more favourable than a court-ordered one, particularly as a successful appeal is far from certain.

TalkTurkey

1/10/2011Back home in Adelaide. And glad. Saw many emus, lots of kangaroos, and this morning at close range a HUGE Wedge-Tailed Eagle on a carcase, I thought it was an emu lying down until we got close! This rubbish post is to say OOOOHHHH did you see in the 3rd quarter AFL Collingwood hit the post and the goal umpire ruled it a goal! [I've already told Jason, if it was a toss-up of a coin between these two teams, Geelong 'Cats' (BOOOOOOOO) and Collingwood Pies (URRRRGGGHHH) I'd like the coin to fall down a grubby drain, but I'm just a little tongue in cheek too.] May it be a good rest of game really. It's just that of all the AFL teams, [i]these two [/i]. . ! . . But Eddie Maguire lost me the other day in bs about pokies etc, so marginally I'm hoping Pies lose more than I wish it had been anyone else but the [i]*Cats*[/i]. (Said as if spitting. Cats do, after all.) Sorry Jase. I do love the game anyway. But that *goal*, OOOHHH if the Pies win by less than a goal won't that be sumpin' eh! Cat's'll be like Abbortt, sore losers, and with much better reason! And it's quite on the cards too the way the scores are now, though as I wrote that the Cats are up by just 7 points, I think their biggest lead this game so far. But the goal umpire, poor dumb bastard, will be reviled and ashamed for life! :$

TalkTurkey

1/10/2011AC Very droll Cobber, I never saw that episode of Frontline but it's amazing, it's perfect in fact, in a way it trumps Yes Minister, not so funny because all too really true, and very very cynical, and never so true as very now. I think I might have to get the series on DVD, I guess it's available . . ? This is your own real genre AC, I hope you are collecting your stories. Gazing into my crystal Aussie Rules Sherrin Football I predict that Jason will have trouble finfing his way back home from his mate's place tonight. Bloody Cats. Congratulations Jason.

lyn

1/10/2011Hi Jason Congratulations Jason. [quote]2011 12:34 PM We Are Geelong! Go you Cats Jason [/quote] Cheers:):):):):):)

lyn

1/10/2011Hi Talk Turkey Welcome home. From all accounts you had a great holiday, good for you. Not too many happy with Eddie Maguire , because of the Poker Machines, he lost a lot of people Talk Turkey. Cheers :):):):):):):):):)

TalkTurkey

1/10/2011Tweetie Didn't think you'd be happy dat mean ol' Puddy Tat won again! ;-) Yes I had a good time all in all, [i]merci bien[/i]. I hope (you + 1) are having a loverly time too. Eddie Maguire should apologise to the Government and to all people damaged by the insane pokie industry, and then either pull his dopey head in or do something material to make up for the further damage he has done.

Feral Skeleton

1/10/2011PatriciaWA, You've got me wrong. I don't mean that Andrew Wilkie's desire to do something about Problem Poker Machine Gamblers is an incoherant policy proposition, what I meant waas that the way he is going about getting it enacted makes no sense. The colloquialism, 'Cutting his nose off despite his face', springs to mind readily because he is prepared to deep six the government if they can't deliver the numbers to him, and he has said that the very next day he will publically tear up the agreement he has with the government, thus allowing Tony Abbott to instigate a No Confidence vote in the government, which Andrew Wilkie would support!!! Thus would the government be brought down. Then the ALP would instigate a No Confidence Vote in the Abbott government after they failed to bring the Mandatory Pre-Commitment legislation in to Wilkie's satisfaction. That's 2 No Confidence Motions in quick succession, and no stable government. The Governor General wouuld have to step in then and dissolve parliament and call for an election to be held. Which would suit Abbott down to the ground. He would win and Mandatory Pre Commitment would be as dead as a Dodo. See? Incoherant, essentially. Or, he couuld be bluffing with the best political poker face I've ever seen. :D

Feral Skeleton

1/10/2011I am so glad Eddie McGuire got his karma today for supporting the Clubs Industry and their vicious anti-government, anti-action wrt problem gambling campaign. Geelong came out and supported the PM and her government's attempts to do something about it. The PM supported Geelong to win the flag. AND GEELONG WON! Maybe it's an omen for the PM to take to heart? :)

Feral Skeleton

1/10/2011Here's a few more interesting articles you guys may not have come across today: http://www.crikey.com.au/2008/01/25/ex-bulletin-employee-ben-sandilands-writes-tony-abbott-and-me/ http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/politics/timing-is-everything-when-it-comes-to-big-reforms-20110922-1kmtl.html http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/3026076.html http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1vXvOG/www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/drilling-into-hearts-of-darkness-20110930-1l1aj.html

Feral Skeleton

1/10/2011Talk Turkey, I'm not so sure that the government could count on all 75 votes that you speculate would be theirs. I mean, how would Adam Bandt vote if the government were unable or unwilling to fully try to implement Mandatory Pre-Commitment? Would they say, "Yeah, fine, whatever Julia, we'll still vote with you anyway", or would they support Andrew Wilkie? Let alone Tony Windsor and Rob Oakeshott, who are coming under fire from all quarters in their local electorates as a result of the Coalition making regular incursions into their area and the Clubs Australia campaign which targets them mercilessly?

Jason

1/10/2011WE ARE GEELONG!

TalkTurkey

1/10/2011FS I hesitate to remind you of your recent assessment - which I, amongst others including Lyn, disputed immediately - of the man almost immediately thereafter voted World's Best Treasurer! - And I know you subsequently acknowledged the Error of your Ways - But here I think you make [i]two[/i]: The first is that you have opined that Wilkie would vote against the Government. Presumably you have now, though not explicitly, withdrawn that notion? - for certainly you have proceeded on an altogether different tack, one with which again I disagree - for - The second is that, [i]as[/i] in [i]Swan's[/i] case, I think you have underestimated - dare I say miss-[i]judged[/i] - (and in fact your mistrust [i]belittles and undermines[/i]) - several fine blokes in whom I have much more faith, and who, if we were all to express such doubt as you do, would have every right imo to say Eff it, why do I bother?!, and maybe, just maybe, kick the keystone loose, [i]because[/i] of that very lack of faith. But I think they are all genuinely honourable, committed and staunch. I personally think they are individually remarkable, as well as in a remarkable space. May Dog AllBitey guide their decisions! And btw even Wilkie is not [i]reneging[/i], this was always his stance. I respect it, and him. He will not bring down the Government, that is not his intention. He might abstain, but not if he thinks any of the others would vote agin the Government. If those you mention were to "buckle under the pressure" they would most certainly lose their seats anyway, plus they would go down in history as spineless backsliders, when they know that *J*U*L*I*A* is doing her superhuman best to fight her reforms through . . . I think they would all rather die facing the enemy than licking his ( * ), I could be wrong but I'm quite prepared to trust them as my comrades until they (or maybe I?) prove unworthy. But as the stones of an arch unite ever more tightly as the load increases, so these several men are drawn together ever more firmly, rather than splitting off. If one dies, well sure that's like one archstone at last crumbling, that'd be a new game then, but as to that, Dog knows, just maybe. Feral, [i]ma cherie[/i], You don't have to believe in miracles to know that faith can work wonders. Have some of mine! (K)

Ad astra reply

1/10/2011TT Could you repost your 8.58 pm comment without reference to the nicknames you have coined for Bolt, Jones and Abbott, so that we do not upset what your refer to as our 'refined sensibilities'.

TalkTurkey

1/10/2011Congratulations [i]Jason[/i] [i]Hand[/i] me a #***ing [i]basin![/i] :P

jane

1/10/2011Hilarious post, AC. And describes Liealot to perfection. Great comment A Boor's Boar. Induced a very hearty cackle. FS, I'm with you in finding Wilkie's tantrum a bit disconcerting. He must realise that the only way to get support for his proposed legislation is by negotiating the best possible outcome. Making hollow threats won't help him and would possibly see its complete failure, because he must know that he couldn't trust Liealot to keep any sort of undertaking except a double cross. Hopefully, the PM's negotiating skills will be instrumental in resolving the issue to everyone's satisfaction.

TalkTurkey

2/10/2011[u][b][i]Bad[/i] Turkey![/b][/u] There’s this sorta Point Of Order What Ad says I mustn’t do! [i]'Mincing Poodle[/i]''s fine for Prissy Pyne But I mustn’t call him [i]POO![/i] Of analogues of Alan Jones Ad says I must keep mum; No cunning Hunty homophones - Ad astra’s struck me dumb! I might still verbally assault Puff Adder, and Morriscum But I musn’t ever prefix [i]Bolt[/i] With that Bad Word b - [i]b[/i] - [i][u]BUM![/u]![/i] I must drop the [i]r[/i] from [i]Abbo-tt[/i] (Cos he’s sold his r’s of course!) (By the way, an [i]actual[/i] *bum-bolt* Is the [i]flatus[/i] of a [i]Horse![/i]* :)) But I tells yez Folks, it gives me pain I’m epithet-bereft: There’s nothing but a smelly stain – That’s all of [i]Them[/i] that’s left! BTW I defer absolutely and without hesitation to Ad astra’s right so to ‘censor’ me. It’s his space entirely and I like everybody else am a guest. No argument. *From The Sot-Weed Factor, Don Dunstan of revered memory was joking about it one day I remember. For losing in a word game, (about rhyming the unth in month, I mentioned only days ago), a student is made by his master to walk behind a flatulent mare while the master rides, with the mare “firing bum-bolts” at the unfortunate young man. Ho ho.

TalkTurkey

2/10/2011Co-incidentally from William Bowe on Poll Bludger posted at 3.19 EST after my last post: "All comments which include name-calling are being deleted at the moment." Ummm, I must say that while I support entirely the right of Ad and Bilbo et al to set the rules of their sites, I personally revel in apt names especially of particularly loathsome public figures, Pig Iron Bob, Piggy Muldoon, Iron Bar Tuckey, Lying Rodent, Bloated Cane-Toad, Mincing Poodle, Puff Adder, Sloppy Joe, they add such [i]glamour[/i] to the political scene! There must be some [i]nice[/i] ones for [i]worthy[/i] Members as well . . . Erm . . . . . ? [i]Vive l'epithet![/i], if there be such a word [i]en francais[/i] Anyway I reckon they are like Caliban's description of the 'sounds and sweet airs' on the enchanted island in Shakespeare's [i]The Tempest:[/i] [i]"They give delight and hurt not."[/i]:) Such namecalling is ancient and springs eternal and praise Dog it's unstoppable but what Ad says goes here and I concur and defer as I said before. But a bloke gotta take it to the limit eh . . . And btw none of the above is *mine* iyswim, most of mine are a whole remove nastier, I am far from repentant to say. Because the people I can think of really nasty names for are really [i]*loathsome*[/i] as never before in Australia. And namecalling is a weapon of Lefty Comrades I reckon. There ought to be [i]medals[/i] . . .

Ad astra reply

2/10/2011TT I've responded to your email.

Ad astra reply

2/10/2011Folks I thought that [i]Insiders[/i] was one of the best I have seen for a while. Which goes to show how much influence a good panel has. Even the too-often flippant Annabell Crabb was less so, I believe mainly because of the always-sensible George Megalogenis and Lenore Taylor. They even acknowledged that the Government was doing good and interesting things that attract the respect of Governments in other countries, but not here! As Mega put it so well – ask people here are they angry, and they will say ‘YES’!

Gravel

2/10/2011Jason Go Cats. Hope you don't have too bad a headache. Hated the first three quarters and couldn't relax until the last 5 minutes, waited for our lead to be snatched away......happily we just kept going.

TalkTurkey

2/10/2011Here's my post from yesterday, "*SANITISED*" :) FS said "(Wilkie) has said that the very next day he will publically tear up the agreement he has with the government, thus allowing Tony Abbott to instigate a No Confidence vote in the government, which Andrew Wilkie would support!!! Thus would the government be brought down." FS I think that Wilkie has made clear that he would not vote against the Government, merely not support it. Then is the vote tied 75-all if I'm right, and Harry gets to use his casting vote. That does rather alter your perception of the case, n'est-ce pas? It's actually not a dumb stance at all when you think it through. Wilkie makes his point loud and clear, and many support him. It embarrasses the Government but actually gives them a pulpit at the same time from which to sheet home the blame for the failure of their honest best shot at rationalising the disastrous poker machine industry. It might even (faint hope) pull a Coalon MHR with just a trace of principle to cross the floor, or abstain, and this would be a very much bigger embarrassment for Them. And it would make each one accountable, which will happen anyway, but more poignantly in the Wilkie-abstaining case. Jawohl? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Swordsfolks I still don't hear anyone else pointing out that Bolt has 100% right to say [i]any bloody thing he wants to about anybody at all[/i], [u]and[/u] the media wherewithal to do it, there is NO abrogation of his trumpeted Freedom of Speech, just as there is NO abrogation of the right of injured parties to prosecute him and those media for erroneous slanderous racist libellous lying typical fare of his, and I'll tell you what, Swordsfolks, NEXT time Bolt is prosecuted WON'T IT BE *FUN*?! [u]I'll donate!!! [/u] Please though Folks Make people aware that BOLT HAS ABSOLUTELY UNDIMINISHED RIGHT TO SAY WHATSOEVER HE LIKES ABOUT ANYBODY AT ALL! Face the consequences for the proscribed statements, sure, [but you got the right to say anything you slimy creep, you go ahead, see where it gets you and your slimy support base, OOOHHHH I get rushes of pleasure just contemplating it.] This point, that NOBODY's right to free speech has been diminished one iota by the learned judgment against the convicted racist Andrew Bolt, is critical to perception and argument re the Media Enquiry. It is the true situation, the actual legal reality, and such as Bolt and his apologists can have no answer to it. But if nobody remembers that, and nobody makes that point, it might as well not be the point at all! John Stuart Mill must have built that precept into his thinking and his pronouncements, I'm sure (though I can't say where), and in any case it's enshrined in law, and Bolt's piggish squeals should be garrotted by a noose of his own tightening. What a pretty metaphor for creatures such as he. hee. hee. hee. heeeeeeee! So I'll say it again: Please Folks make people aware that BOLT HAS ABSOLUTELY UNDIMINISHED RIGHT TO SAY WHATSOEVER HE LIKES ABOUT ANYBODY AT ALL! He is already a convicted racist. Let him do his worst. This following is my little tribute to Bolt and his ilk. You can chant it, sort of, as a Righteous War Chant silently to yourself, or aloud to yourself, or aloud to others, or not at all. Emphasising the underlined words should work I think. [i][u]Next[/u] time[/i], [i][u]Bolt[/u]![/i] We'll get you [i][u]next[/u][/i] time. [u]We've[/u] had Enough of [u]your[/u] slime! [u]And[/u] all You sucks of [u]Tones's[/u] And es[i]pec[/i]ially A()a() [u]Jones's[/u]! Re[i]lig[/i]ion is an [i]ill[/i]ness - [u]I[/u] just espouse Good[u]will[/u]ness - [u]But[/u] there's Nothing I [u]can[/u] do About des[u]pis[/u]ing The likes of [u]YOU[/u] crew. Jane, hope that's dirty enough talk for you. I gotta try hard to keep up with you though. ;-) More please, I love it. PatriciaWA, I do just know you'll love Tones's with A()a() Jones's (Fun with TOP Trolls!) Lyn and Ad Astra and others of genuinely and properly refined sensibilities, I hope you don't find this sort of writing too gross, truly, I'm a bit ashamed really of using let alone highlighting and repeating ad nauseam terms like (‘[i]Bottom[/i]’, 3 letters)-Bolt and [i]A()a() [/i]Jones and [i]Abbo()tt[/i] and all them, truly, I just wish they weren't so awful that they deserved such debauched epithetiquette. Really, and I mean this, all decent people should recoil in disgust at my uncouthiocity, [i][and so it came to pass! TT :)][/i] except that all decent people know that my jibes can never do justice to those *people*. But as the Elf feller says in Lord of the Rings, AIM FOR THE THROAT! That's what our Sword is for! NEXT TIME BOLT ! WE'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME!

lyn

2/10/2011Hi Talk Turkey Thankyou for your delightful comment, your a funny fellow, you never fail to make me laugh. [i] Love this "*SANITISED*" [/i] [quote]Lyn and Ad Astra and others of genuinely and properly refined sensibilities, I hope you don't find this sort of writing too gross, truly, [/quote] Tell you what Talk Turkey, I have read a lot worse names than you use on TPS comments. Cheers:):):):):)

Jason

2/10/2011I'm lost for words! latikambourke | 26 minutes ago Angry Anderson say he's now ready for politics and has joined the National Party with a view to standing for a seat.

lyn

2/10/2011 Hi Jason Me too:- [i]andrew_hedgeAndrew Hedge Angry Anderson wants to run as a National party candidate. He'll even move to the country if necessary. #lolangry #auspol #whatshisrealname? 28 minutes agoFavoriteRetweetReply[/i] Cheers:):):):)

Feral Skeleton

2/10/2011Goodness gracious me! These School Holidays thingamijigs become a whole new ballgame when your children become social animals, ie teenagers! "Can you take me to such and such's?" "Can you pick me up when I (deign to) call you?" Sheesh! No time for contemplation and sitting in my comfy chair in front of the 'puter...until now. :) Now, TT, I don't know what about the following: [quote]The Coalition's decision to oppose poker machine reform has significantly hardened the resolve of independent Andrew Wilkie to push for the change[b] even if it means bringing down the Gillard Government.[/b] In a wide-ranging interview with The Canberra Times,[b] he laid out a scenario for the possible end of the minority Labor Government.[/b] [b]Mr Wilkie is determined to act if the legislation hasn't been approved,[/b] even though this would produce chaos and not achieve poker-machine reform. '[b]'The next morning I'd call a press conference and tear up my agreement with the Prime Minister,'[/b] he said. ''If I was Opposition Leader, I'd probably move very quickly to bring on a no confidence motion in the Government on its inability to deliver poker machine reform, which, on the fact of it, I'd probably support. [b]But the Government has made things a bit simpler for me, because the Labor Party now has a worse policy than the Coalition on irregular immigration.[/b] I assume Tony Abbott would race to an election ... I reckon he'd go out to Government House that day and say the situation is unstable.'' Mr Wilkie predicted the Coalition would win an election held next year in those circumstances.[/quote] ...makes you believe that Andrew Wilkie isn't deadly serious about bringing down the government. Not to mention that your numbers scenario doesn't stack up because either Tony Windsor or Rob Oakeshott will vote with the Coalition against Wilkie's proposal, when push comes to shove. Ergo, it doesn't matter one whit how Harry Jenkins votes. Which, quite rightly IMHO, led me to the conclusion that Wilkie's modus operandi here is incoherant.

Feral Skeleton

2/10/2011You've heard of Schrodinger's Cat, well, here is Abbott's cat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKI-tD0L18A&feature=youtu.be :D

lyn

2/10/2011Hi Ad Thankyou for your report on the Insiders. I missed out this morning, a long phone call from my daughter exactly when Insiders started. Since then I have been busy cooking Chicken Maryland for lunch, I know you would enjoy that menu Ad Astra, pineapple & banana fritters, crumbed chicken breast with gravy. From Twitter the reports were pretty good. Here is a video link to what Brendan O'Connor said provided via Twitter comment: @TAWNBPMTAWNBPM (B1) If you missed insiders this morning - worth watching this piece [quote]on the lying dutchman [/quote]http://fb.me/NlYuhiwp 24 minutes agovia FacebookFavoriteRetweetReply [quote]Home Affairs Minister Brendan O'Connor says people should read the Federal Court ruling against columnist Andrew Bolt carefully[/quote]. [quote]Don't rush to judgement on Bolt case: O'Connor[/quote] http://www.abc.net.au/insiders/content/2011/s3330453.htm Cheers:):):):):)

BSA Bob

2/10/2011Jason at 1.25 Lost for words at the moment perhaps, but between us we'll find a few to describe Angry's tilt at politics. None of the swipes directed at Peter Garrett when he joined the ALP will be directed at him, of course. It's tempting to ask whether the Nats would want him on their front line but I suppose they could always use another rabble rouser to spell Barnaby at times.

TalkTurkey

2/10/2011[i][b]DOOOOOMMMMM![/b][/i] :) That's it then FS. We've had it. Only thing is, I don't believe for a moment that Wilkie thinks himself that important, to bring down a highly effectual Government that is doing its level best in face of enormous difficulties, to bring about huge reforms which if interrupted in mid-development would be catastrophic in many ways. What did that dopey sheila say last week about blood in the streets? Wilkie would risk bringing that on in Oz you reckon FS? [u][b][i]I DON'T THINK SO![/i][/b][/u] BTW everybody, did you know that Terra, i.e. Planet Earth, passed the half-way point in its existence just last week? In 13.83597261666 billion years and several seconds we will implode. [i]It's all downhill from here![/i]

Acerbic Conehead 2

2/10/20112353, Thanks for your comment. Yes, can you imagine the ABC making something like [i]Frontline [/i]today? And instead we get [i]At Home with Julia[/i]! Strewth! Lyn, Thank you also for your encouragement. Enjoy your well-earned break. A Boor’s Boar, [quote]If only you could see Sophie. [M]y pet name for her is Grunt when we are alone together (it's a clever play on words that someone with your obvious lack of wit could never hope to understand. Joe Hockey would get it in a flash because he has a sophisticated sense of humour)...[/quote] LOL. Priceless! Oh, and by the way, you sound familiar. Just can’t put my finger on it. Looking forward to hearing from you again. Gravel, I bet you’re still basking in the glory of the Cats win yesterday. Hope you have a clear head today to cope with those grandkids! Michael, I didn’t relaise Shouldabeen is a Manly supporter. They’re handicapped right from the start. FS, Yes, Eddie Maguire’s “footy tax” tripe would not have made many neutral fans, who are also concerned about problem gambling, barrack for Collingwood yesterday. And I hope that Wilkie is simply putting on his poker face. He should know only too well that the Coalition is in the cot with Big Gambling. And that NoNoNoNo cat is so funny. It’s been watching too much of Federal parliament on TV. Granny Anny, Yes, I think you’re right. No appeal and an insipid “apology” somewhere near the back of the paper. However, on the bright side, am apology is an apology, so we can then accuse Bolt of being a hypocrite, as he never was into the Apology. Jason, I take it you are more than happy with yesterday’s result. Congratulations! And, it’s interesting that Angry Anderson wants to stand for the Nationals. I thought Tones, with all his Peoples Skills, would have convinced him the Libs were the better deal. TT, Welcome back from your trip. I hope you had a great time with your rellies (your sister, from memory?). And thanks for your kind words on [i]What a Y-Frontery![/i] You enquired if the [i]Frontline [/i]series is available. See this link to the [i]ABC Shop[/i]. http://shop.abc.net.au/browse/product.asp?productid=741100 Jane, I’m glad you enjoyed the article. If Wilkie is playing poker, with Liealot he better realise that Tones always uses a marked deck. AA, Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I think I recall you saying you follow the Cats as well. If so, congratulations after yesterday’s Grand Final victory. I agree that [i]Insiders [/i]was watchable this morning, though I was very disappointed that Domenica wasn’t chewing her trademark gum. Enjoy the rest of the weekend, everyone.

Sir Ian Crisp

2/10/2011Grandma, it’s hard to predict if an appeal is planned. It would be even harder to predict how our paedophile-protecting judiciary might rule on the matter of an appeal.

Feral Skeleton

2/10/2011BSA Bob, I'm not sure that Angry knows how to spell his own name. He never did write any of the Rosey Tatt's songs, only bawled them. Hmm, so the Nats will now have a Bawler and a Brawler(Barnaby). That'll do a lot for respect for women. Not. Now, also considering that 'Angry' lives on the North Shore of Sydney, I can't see, actually, what sort of connection he has to the country. What's that? The Nationals dropped that 'Country Party' thing years ago? So, it doesn't really matter anymore? Yeah, thought so. They're just the Liberal Party's Agrarian Socialist arm, which conveniently provides a red dirt cover for Tony Abbott and the Liberal Party's takeover of the Labor Party's big government, welfarism, Protectionism, base of blue collar conservatives. So 'Angry' should find himself right at home.

Feral Skeleton

2/10/2011I bleedin' hate the fact that Bushfire Bill appears to favour the immediacy of Poll Bludger and it's poll-wonkery habitues, over us much more thoughtful and considered types(with lives that take us away from our keyboards for a goodly amount of time, and hence=not so much immediacy ;-) )so, it is with great reluctance that I cut 'n' paste anything that he puts there. However I will because he has such a pertinent way of putting things: [quote]Bushfire Bill Posted Saturday, October 1, 2011 at 2:36 pm | Permalink As for Abbott’s speech, it should be noted that Julie Bishop was similarly graceless at last year’s event. Not sure what speech you’re talking about here, but my general observation is that Abbott makes every occasion a political one. This guarantees him equal exposure with Gillard on any ABC TV or radio event. Once Abbott puts a political spin onto anything – it could be the opening of an envelope or the grand final of an egg boiling competition – the ABC dutifully inserts, "The Leader of the Opposition, Tony Abbott, was at the ceremony too, and it wasn't all {envelopes|boiled eggs} for Julia Gillard. Mr. Abbott used the occasion to remind {envelope openers|egg boilers} around Australia that the government was addicted to...." Youse know the rest. The ABC’s function is to do two things: (a) Launder News Ltd bootstrap story-lines, to make them appear “respectable”, and so that they can be quoted back as freshly washed and ironed “news reports” by later News Ltd. journalists, (b) Provide free air time for Tony Abbott wherever and whenever he requires it. All Abbott has to do is offer an opinion, on anything, and it will be reported. I am quite sure there’s a whole sub-department somewhere in the ABC News Division that has the task – before any story is broadcast or put on the web site – to look and see whether Abbott has made a comment on the subject at hand. Or maybe even to ring his office and ask for a comment. This is called “balance”. At the heart of this the certain belief in the ABC that should Abbott ever get into power he will cut a swathe through the “unsound” ABC News journalists that would put a truck bomb laced with ball bearings and rusty nails to shame. The ABC fears the Coalition much more than they fear Labor. That much is perfectly clear.[/quote]

Jason

2/10/2011Acerbic and Gravel, Very happy today! I'll watch the NRL grand final no real interest as parramatta isn't playing. BSA Bob, Ah yes "Angry" the farmers friend!I can just see him in his mole skins tweed coat and R M Williams boots attending field days. The Nationals have gone mad! imagine Joyce and Angry leader and deputy of the Nats with Abbott as PM?I would be like an episode of the three stooges. Here's what he said. HE IS angry about the carbon tax and he is doing something about it. Angry Anderson has joined the Nationals with the intention of running for a seat at the next federal election. "If between the party and I, we can agree, I feel I can best serve the Australian people on the national stage," the 63-year-old rock singer told The Sunday Telegraph. "I've always liked big stages. We're in discussions at the moment - listen to me, all of a sudden I sound like a politician" he laughs. The former Labor supporter said he chose the Nationals because he didn't feel that he would be free enough to express his opinions in either of the major parties. "I am a lapsed Labor supporter," Anderson said. "I have over the last 10 to 15 years drifted towards the conservative side of politics. I've said before I don't want to be silenced by a major party." Start of sidebar. Skip to end of sidebar. .End of sidebar. Return to start of sidebar. While Anderson cited the Nationals Senator Barnaby Joyce as a key influence, he said it was "good friend" and NSW Liberal Upper House member Charlie Lynn who suggested he consider the Nationals "as more of a better fit". The former Rose Tattoo frontman said being drawn into politics was a natural extension of his community service work. "You can reach a stage like I have where you've done as much as you can in your profession in my case music and a political career becomes an extension of the community work I'm doing," he said. Anderson has been a prominent campaigner against the carbon tax, appearing at rallies around the country. He said he was not committed to running for a specific seat and wasn't afraid to tackle a safe Labor seat. "I'll have those discussions with the party," he said. "If they think I'm the best qualified person to run for a seat, any seat, I'll run. If not, I'm a team player: you have to be in a band. I'll be a foot soldier instead." http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/angry-anderson-has-joined-the-nationals-and-will-run-for-a-seat-in-the-next-election/story-e6freuy9-1226155312826

Patricia WA

2/10/2011Talk Turkey, obviously your holiday break has energised you even more than usual, and who would have thought that possible! You are in full flow today with some brilliant rhyming satire there. I particularly liked [quote]Ad astra’s struck me dumb! I might still verbally assault Puff Adder, and Morriscum But I musn’t ever prefix Bolt With that Bad Word b - b - BUM!! I must drop the r from Abbo-tt (Cos he’s sold his r’s of course!) [/quote] Brilliant! Ad astra's ruling has not led to muteness, nor to mutinous mutterings on your part. Though I have a somewhat querulous query about that. Are POO's really out of order? Whiney Pine as you call him has earned the epithet all by himself and he is known as that throughout the blogotariat. If so I beg leave to give notice of objection to this ruling from the Chair. My reason for needing to do so will become clear in due time.

Patricia WA

2/10/2011Agreed, Ad Astra, today's Insiders was far the best in a long time. Even Talking Pictures improved without slobbery sniggering Mike Bowers. Aside from the panellists there was something more solid about content. Have the editorial team changed at all? Great pictures of the PM and gracious acknowledgement all round that she looked great on The Day but as well, giving that foreign policy speech, there was not only substance, but her great style apparent too. How many potential PMs do we have who can withstand the sort of stress she is under and come up smiling for the camera with crowds of kids first, and then cool, calm and collected in presenting an important policy speech? No wonder the Coalition and the establishment want her out. If the public gets a taste for her she'll last several terms.

Ad astra reply

2/10/2011Hi Lyn I see you are still getting your fix at the computer. I hope you have a great time with your daughter and grandchild, mostly free of blog sites. AC No, I’ve been a rusted-on Collingwood supporter for over 60 years. But we Magpies are used to disappointment. As an ex-Geelong student, it is my second preference team, so losing to Geelong is not too bad. Thank you for yet another great piece of satire. You are an education to me. Patricia WA I agree that Julia Gillard is a courageous person, pressing on with the business of Government despite all Tony Abbott’s negativity and the media’s assaults. Regarding the words used on [i]TPS[/i] – I know what your reasons are when you object to rulings from the chair – you want as many words as you can find that rhyme! I’ve just finished a piece – [i] Is Robert Manne right about ‘The Australian’?[/i]. which I will post tomorrow. Goodnight all.

Feral Skeleton

2/10/2011Ad Astra, Thank you for writing about Robert Manne. Now I have somewhere to put my reflections on the night I went to see him at the NSW State Library last week. :)

NormanK

2/10/2011[b]TODAY'S LINKS[/b] [i]Selfish clubs and spineless MPs Crispin Hull[/i] You can always tell when self-interest is not in the public interest. It is when self-interested parties use inconsistent arguments to oppose policies that might erode their incomes. Big tobacco, carbon-tax opponents and the mining industry have all been at it. And now the clubs are arguing that poker-machine pre-commitment limits won’t work but at the same time the limits will cause club incomes to fall so their community work will contract. http://www.crispinhull.com.au/2011/10/01/selfish-clubs-and-spineless-mps/#comments [i]ABC: ALP to discuss same-sex marriage Australian Politics TV[/i] http://australianpoliticstv.org/2011/10/01/abc-alp-to-discuss-same-sex-marriage/ [i]Unhinging The Bolt Dave's Archives[/i] I'm going to contradict myself on Andrew Bolt. In a previous post, I defended Bolt's right to free speech, as have so many others, in the face of his court case. At the time, my esteemed nemesis, the Slightly Disgruntled Scientist, came to a different view. Since the judgement, I find myself changing my mind, and I feel I ought to say something. http://davec.org/category/articles/ [i]And Miranda’s unhinging gets sillier Jeremy Sear Pure Poison[/i] If you thought that Miranda Devine’s facile Godwinning of the “freedom to print untrue smears” saga was absurd, wait till you see her effort this afternoon: http://blogs.crikey.com.au/purepoison/2011/09/30/and-mirandas-unhinging-gets-sillier/ [i]it's just bad journalism from News Ltd Gary Sauer-Thompson Public Opinion[/i] News Ltd's response to the Federal Court judgement handed down in the Bolt case by Judge Mordecai Bromberg is predictable. Freedom of speech (of the media) is at stake here. It's a bad law. This is maintained even though the Racial Discrimination Act, has embedded in it a strong freedom-of-speech defence: insulting or humiliating people because of their race or colour is not unlawful when it is done "reasonably and in good faith" in pursuit of a matter of public interest. http://www.sauer-thompson.com/archives/opinion/2011/09/its-just-bad-jo.php [i]Independent Australia applauds Bolt decision Editorial Independent Australia[/i] Independent Australia believes the discrimination decision by Justice Bromberg was a good one for Australia — a long overdue reminder that discrimination, once such a feature of life here, no longer has a place in Australia. http://www.independentaustralia.net/2011/discrimination-2/independent-australia-applauds-bolt-decision/ [i]No topic taboo at tax forum, Swan says AAP Business Spectator[/i] Treasurer Wayne Swan says no topic will be taboo at this week's tax forum and participants won't have their microphones switched off if they mention the GST or the mining tax. Mr Swan says he is looking forward to the Canberra forum that will bring together almost 200 representatives of community groups, businesses, unions, super funds, economists and academics. "Despite what you may have heard, no topics have been banned from discussion," Mr Swan said in his weekly http://www.businessspectator.com.au/bs.nsf/Article/No-topic-taboo-at-tax-forum-Swan-says-M99AA?OpenDocument&src=hp9 [i]Your guide to Tuesday's Tax Summit Peter Martin[/i] Penny Wong didn’t tell the half of it. In an attempt to contain expectations at next week’s tax summit she this week released frightening projections showing the budget would be at least $80 billion short by the middle of the century unless something could be done to raise more tax. http://www.petermartin.com.au/2011/10/your-guide-to-tuesdays-tax-summit.html [i]Tony Abbot The tape and the biography Luiggi Berrospi The Law and Politics Blog[/i] 32 years ago Tony Abbot gave a interview to the ABC, when he was the president of the University of Sydney’s student representative council. A 21-year-old Opposition Leader Liberal Tony Abbott is earnestly explaining his theory about the Marxist conspiracy on university campuses: ”[Marxists] understand that if they destroy the academic standards, and possibly the moral standards, of that elite they have undermined liberal democratic society,” Abbott says. http://lawonlineau.wordpress.com/ [i]Politicians ‘pay rise’ a good thing The Body Politic - Australia[/i] But, as per expected (and no doubt the reason The Daily Telegraph published the article) the suspected move has caused outrage among ordinary Australian’s. After 9 News put the link on their Facebook wall, it received over 130 comments, none of which were particularly supportive of the plan, citing that politicians were greedy and weren’t worth the money. It is these two points that this article will aim to clarify. http://bodypoliticaus.wordpress.com/2011/10/01/politicians-pay-rise-a-good-thing/#more-1040 [i]Primus confirms commercial NBN pricing Renai LeMay Delimiter[/i] National broadband provider Primus has confirmed it will leave its trial prices for the National Broadband Network fibre unchanged as the fledgling network moves into its commercial phase, declaring itself “comfortable” with its existing model, despite monthly prices that at times range up to $40 more than rival iiNet’s prices per month. http://delimiter.com.au/2011/09/30/primus-confirms-commercial-nbn-pricing/ [i]Cut your energy bills in half John Quiggin[/i] A newspaper story I once read (almost certainly apocryphal) claimed that advertisement to this effect asked for a small payment in return for a guaranteed method of cutting energy bills in half. If you paid up, you received, by return mail, a pair of scissors. http://johnquiggin.com/2011/10/01/cut-your-energy-bills-in-half/#more-10189 [i]You're not as ethical as you think Ross Gittens[/i] In an experiment in which people were asked to solve puzzles and were paid a set amount for each puzzle they solved, some participants were told to check their answers against an answer sheet, count the number of questions answered correctly, put their answer form through a shredder, report the number of questions they got right to the experimenter and receive the money they had earned. A second group wasn't allowed to shred their answers before reporting how many they got right. Those whose claims about how many they got right couldn't be checked claimed to have got significantly more correct than the second group. http://www.rossgittins.com/2011/10/honestly-folks-it-seems-youre-not-as.html [i]Much To Do About Nought Neil Cook The Bannerman[/i] Gambling, like alcoholism, smoking, drug abuse, and even speeding on the roads for some, is an addiction. Addictions afflict some worse than others and for most of us, not at all. To my mind, thumbing coins or sliding notes into a machine in the forlorn hope of the machine quadrupling my return isn't gambling. It's simply wasting money, and time. http://www.waddayano.org/blog/2011/09/much_to_do_about_naught.php#more [i]Tax Forum: Critical reform is worth the effort – and the wait Richard Eccleston The Conversation[/i] Periodic tax reform is necessary as governments respond to new patterns and forms of economic activity and the inevitable political pressures these changes create. Yet the politics of tax reform is politically fraught because vested interests who may incur short-term losses will always be vocal, often drowning out the less tangible and more diffuse benefits of reform. http://theconversation.edu.au/tax-forum-critical-reform-is-worth-the-effort-and-the-wait-3468 [i]Ricketson on Manne in the Australian. Anyone notice that? Shelley Gare The Drum[/i] Given all the hoo-hah, puffing and faffing on-line about Robert Manne's Quarterly Essay, Bad News, in which he delivers several karate chops to the kidneys, loins and nether regions of The Australian, I wonder why a review of the essay which appeared in The Weekend Australian's Review section last weekend has been virtually ignored. http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/3193218.html [i]Lentil Soup of the Week Gerard Oosterman Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle[/i] If ever there was a sign that Abbott the Rarebit will never strut the world stage as a leader of anything, it would have to be his utterly uncalled for and ungracious remark about Julia Gillard on her 50th. ‘I wish her a happy birthday but…….. I am not sure she will have many more years as Australia’s PM”, followed by his very best and very special condescending sneer. http://pigsarms.com.au/2011/10/01/lentil-soup-of-the-week/ [i]The Asian Century: Canberra readjusts the policy settings Graeme Dobell Crikey[/i] If there is a conceptual shift on display in the launch of the development of a white paper on Asia relations, it is from Australia’s firm attachment to the construct of the Asia Pacific towards the “Asian Century”. The country that invented APEC (well, co-invented with Japan) is readjusting the settings. http://www.crikey.com.au/2011/09/30/the-asian-century-canberra-readjusts-the-policy-settings/ [i]Bolt decision: ‘Irresponsible journalism illegal’? Think again Margaret Simons Crikey[/i] In paragraph 388 of his judgement in the Bolt matter yesterday, Justice Bromberg quotes a phrase from a Privy Council case. It should strike a chill into the hearts of journalists and media organisations in Australia, particularly at this moment in our history. "The public deserve to be protected against irresponsible journalism." http://www.crikey.com.au/2011/09/29/bolt-decision-irresponsible-journalism-illegal-think-again/ [i]Forrest granted right to appeal deceptive conduct ruling Tim Cowie The Power Index[/i] Mining magnate Andrew Forrest may be able to dodge a corporate regulator bullet after winning the right to appeal a Federal Court ruling which found him guilty of misleading investors seven years ago. http://www.thepowerindex.com.au/power-move/forrest-granted-right-to-appeal-deceptive-conduct-ruling/20110930475 [i]Sun shines on all sources, not just the power of one Michael Bachelard, Deborah Gough[/i] Solar powered 24-hour baseload power is available now. So why do you allow pollies and shock jocks to get away with saying coal or uranium are still needed for baseload? Has The Sunday Age reported on the fact that the US Department of Energy has identified fuel ethanol from Australian eucalypts as essential for its strategic future? Do your readers know Virgin Blue will get its aviation fuel from gum trees? My point is that people are entitled to details on renewables that are viable now. http://www.smh.com.au/environment/climate-change/sun-shines-on-all-sources-not-just-the-power-of-one-20111001-1l2ti.html

Ad astra reply

3/10/2011LYN'S DAILY LINKS updated: http://www.thepoliticalsword.com/page/LYNS-DAILY-LINKS.aspx FOR THE MONTH OF OCTOBER LINKS ARE BEING PROVIDED BY NORMANK WHILE LYN TAKES A BREAK. Thank you NormanK.

TalkTurkey

3/10/2011From today's Poll Bludger: 6816 Danny Lewis Thank doG the Festival of the Boot has ended. 6817 my say One silly question. Who. Is. Dog 6818 This little black duck my say, doG = God spelt backwards. Used by some atheists. 6821 Danny Lewis My Say: It is God spelt backwards. [b][i]I’m not sure who started it[/i],[/b]* but it has caught on a bit amongst those of use who use it merely as turn of phrase rather than as an expression of a belief system, if that makes sense. *Erm, ahem, [i][b]GOBBLE-GOBBLE-GOBBLE-GOBBLE-GOBBLE !!!!![/b][/i]:)

2353

3/10/2011You've learnt well NormanK Lyn would be proud.

TalkTurkey

3/10/2011Thank you, NormanK! Your Links are fine today. Goes to show that if Lyn Hadn't ever've bin We'd've had to create her, Hooray! I only put Hooray because I couldn't think of anything better. But Hooray for Lyn. While we know she can't get to see the Sword because she's on holidays, ;-), (because I know she would be embarrassed by what I'm about to say) I think it is worth contemplating that Lyn's position is quite unique, in fact uniquer than hardly anybody, in fact it might be the quite uniquest position in the entire blogoverse! The thing is Australia is just about the right size and shape for Lyn to happen, she'd be lost (swamped) in the USA or UK . . . NZ is a bit small . . . Canada's too monstered by its bloated southern neighbour . . . (Non-English-speakers are a bit out of the genre, definitely no offence intended) . . . So Lyn really is very special, she invented and built her function until it is unthinkable to be without her Links, they are utterly integral to the Sword and the touchstone for all serious Australian political bloggers. I know we do say a lot of good things about her work but compared to the time and talent she puts in, well I reckon too much thanks is barely enough. And Thanks again NormanK for performing so ably as her Lieutenant. (That's LEFTenant, i.e., [i]holding the Left[/i], not LOOtenant, because what would that mean? :))

Feral Skeleton

3/10/2011Thank you so much NormanK for today's links! It is gratifying to realise that you are there willing to donate your time to filling in the hole that lyn has left in order to keep our little TPS jalopy motoring along. Much appreciated. :)

Feral Skeleton

3/10/2011Talk Turkey, You are correct in your estimation of lyn's importance and role as a vital cog in the blogosphere. It's very hard to create a new job and she did it through dint of perseverance and some creative thinking about her role too. So noticed has she become that I see someone on PB(the blog that I will dare not speak it's full name because of the number of commenters and contributors here that we are losing to 'them' over there, and good morning to janice too), I think it's BK, has started putting up links on their mornings' contribution. And, yes, I have noticed 'Dog' creeping into their conversations too. Which only goes to prove that 'We are the trendsetters, the first and best!' But then an embittered old biddy such as moi would say that. :D Sure, we can exist side by side, but I just wish certain peeps, who shall now remain nameless(after I just named them :) ), would keep coming back here, as we support them there.

Ad astra reply

3/10/2011Folks I have posted [i]Is Robert Manne right about 'The Australian'?[/i] http://www.thepoliticalsword.com/

D Mick Weir

3/10/2011Good Morning NormanK noice set of links you got there :P Here is one just in: [b]Tattered washing on the line[/b] Andrew Elder - Politically homeless [i]Abbott has thrown everything his reptilian, short-term brain can think of at the Gillard government, nothing has worked. The government is still standing and the independents have gone from being disinclined to actively hating the guy. The idea that he's all bark and no bite is cemented in place pretty much everywhere outside State Circle, ACT; ...[/i] http://andrewelder.blogspot.com/2011/10/tattered-washing-on-line.html Lots of meat on the bone in this piece.

jane

4/10/2011The msm is obsessed with their manufactured leadership crisis in the government. I think it makes them really shirty that Gillard and Rudd just won't play their game. Gillard will remain in power and lead the government in the next election. Quite frankly, if the ALP is idiotic enough to change leaders yet again, they'll deserve to lose to Liealot. As for all the alleged panicking about poor polls, perhaps we should wait until the election is much less than two years away before bunging on sack cloth and ashes and cranking up the knouts.

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